One sweet day, An emotional whirl, You will be good to yourself, And you'll come and join the girls

[wanton_bliss]

I am supposed to attend a baby shower turned barbecue on Memorial Day weekend, which apparently entails bringing a gift without the obligation to engage in suicide-inducing baby shower gamesNow I am at a loss as to just what such a gift should entail. Am I purchasing for the prospective parents, for the mother, or for the baby? They don't know

Comments

[handsaway]

I would give them an informative pamphlet on the going rate for children in the black market. You know, in case they change their mind about the baby.

[wanton_bliss]

Actually, some sort of snidely humorous book would make me feel better about my obligation.

"So you've ruined your life"

[eyelid]

1. Ask if they have a baby registry. If they do, buy something on it. Easy.

2. If they don't, then they are stupid and deserve to recieve 10 diaper bags and 50 washcloths. Buy them one of these things and don't worry about whether or not they will like it. If you are feeling merciful, include a receipt.

[wanton_bliss]

Ugh... registries are so bourgeois.

[eyelid]

I know, being practical is so uncool. It does however mean that you end up with the carseat you want.

[wanton_bliss]

Wait, why would I need a carseat? Just what in the hell are you suggesting?!?

[thesadpunk]

Elvin crayons?

Contrary to popular belief, purple does have a flavor. Grape tastes like grapes, purple is purple. Ask Kool-Aid.

Thank you.

[wanton_bliss]

Contrary to popular belief, purple does have a flavor

Is this statement in reference to my cock?

[thesadpunk]

Always with the penis...

No, no, no...

[wanton_bliss]

Never enough with the penis.

[ludomancer]

It's a dangerous world out there, and it's never too soon for the little ones to learn how to make their first saving throws.

[wanton_bliss]

If you saw the carnage that is the house in which he will be raised, you would realize how truly important solid reflex and fortitude saves will prove.