sophia is in my house??

i dont know what to think about this.

i don't blame him for leaving. i don't blame any of them for leaving. i think its just something that they all had to do. i wish i had the ability to do the same.  i guess by staying i will obtain some pretty buff forearms at least...

4 days to july 4th.
25 days to july 25th..   im holding on.

i missed three calls from tom today while i was in class. and i could have answered them if he had waited like... 5 more minutes to call. i am slightly distressed about this ( Read more... )

jesus.
i'm in rough shape.

and i can't help but think that it hasn't even hit hard yet.. a whole summer... i dont know if i can do it. i'm much too much inlove for my own good.

i guess in other news. this has been a rather shitty day altogether. i want school to be over. and i fucking want to see gracie already.

today is a year exactly since tom asked if we should "just try it". and kissed me on the roof. its been a rough year, a lot of really terrible shit has happened (none involving tom). but i dont think i could be happier. i have the most amazing boy i could ever ask for.  one year, and not a single second of mild irritation, no fluttering annoyance ( Read more... )

FUCK

gah. i dont know what to do with myself. i need to get anger out. i want to go running. i want to play drumss. i want to kick the shit out of something. i hate you, fucking potentially broken ankle.

had a long talk with mr Leab today during lunch. he told me that he never thought i would have a boyfriend because no one would ever be worthy. i laughed. he told me that i couldnt have anyone who would dominate over me.. i dont know if this is true or not. i told him that ive dated a few douche bags. he said yep.  i told him that i dated nick ( Read more... )

i really do have the most amazing boyfriend/best friend/companion i could ever ask for. and i love him more and more everyday and i am no longer afraid of what is going to happen to me because ive realized that it honestly doesnt matter as long as hes there with me.

id still really like this stomach thing to go away though.

the summer was a long time ago... somehow im feeling worse now though. i dont know if thats the way things are supposed to work.. i thought things were supposed to get better, i was supposed to get used to the empty spaces. things remind me of david every day, and when i go to advisory i still expect to see sam sometimes. it hurts i wont lie. im ( Read more... )

i was a fool. you were a friend. we made it happen.