if you need an "off the street" reader, you can send it to me. i've found myself with a bit of time, and wouldn't mind reading something original that has nothing to do with anything i'm working on at the moment.
kara, your writing has always been good, and continues to improve. your dream will be realized one day. maybe not this year and maybe not next year, but it will. please don't give up on yourself.
have you contact the school to see if there was a specific area that you didn't quite meet their expectations on? ask in such a way that you are inquiring for continual improvement and development. it is common practice in the business environment, and shouldn't be out of place in academics either.
You know, I may take you up on this. It looks like I may be going back to the drawing board in more ways than one, but I may definitely take you up on this.
I don't know if I can/should/ought to contact the school -- I really suspect it has either to do with a lack of high school experience specifically, or the fact that my specialty area lies in British literature, and they might have found a candidate with more experience in American Lit. Which, if I'm going to be brutally honest with myself, was the one thing I wasn't keen on -- I'm not an American Lit fan. So... it's probably for the best, but I need to lick my wounds a bit more I think.
oh, that wouldn't be good. turning your 'dream job' into a nightmare one. you know your stuff, so it isn't the ability or knowledge. and it is most likely as you say - they were looking for someone that fit the position a little better for american lit and high school experience. no failure there! :) bet they'll be calling on you if/when they need an english lit instructor.
First of all, I love your writing. You and your magical ability to manipulate language in that just-so way are what I aspire to and know that I will never reach.
Secondly, and this is honestly a bit selfish, I truly hope you do open the tea shop. The idea of actually having a place run by someone competent whose knowledge of teas I trust and whose style and tastes I like, and having it only a couple hours away is enough to make me fangirl. Trust me, if you open the shop, you've got yourself one guaranteed regular customer, gas money be damned.
LOL -- I have to say, there are so many appealing sides to running my own tea shop. The only thing that gets me down a bit is the part where I'm pretty sure I'd get next to NO days off to begin with. (But on the other hand, I'd be working for myself instead of someone else, so if I'm ten minutes late, no one's going to bitch about it.) I also catch myself thinking about doing a high tea once a month, or having trivia nights or knitting groups or what have you.
Yeah, time-off doesn't seem to happen much for small business owners. Still, I suppose the work itself is supposed to be its own reward, provided you're doing what you love. The high tea/add-ons sound so cool! Now you've got me wishing you already had the shop even more. Which reminds me...A couple of weeks ago, I was in Barnes and Noble, and I actually caught myself looking for UT.
As far as the commitment factor goes, I sort of understand (as well as someone who isn't even done with school and still lives at home can). I'd love to be able to both write something that I was happy enough with to submit for publication, and eventually own a small bookstore of my own. But I can't really remember the last time I touched my original and the store is something that I mentally stuck in a box labeled "future dream" and occasionally take out play with, but only when no one is around to catch me.
Ah, man, Niamh-dear, you sound like you're in a tough place. Going into business for yourself *is* a hugely scary process (I know, I contemplated it myself when I left my high-tech job last summer, and ultimately decided against it because I wasn't comfortable with the amount of financial risk).
I'm not surprised you aren't writing right now. Creative endeavors require some measure of serenity (or at least they do for me), and I also find myself unable to write when most of my brain's CPU cycles are consumed with fretting and worrying and stressing.
Give yourself some time to mourn the job you didn't get. It'll get better in time, I promise.
*hugs* Thanks. I think you hit the problem on the head -- my brain has just been going and going and going lately, and it's like... that creative part of my brain needs to be relaxed for me to produce anything. And it's not -- in fact, it's curled up into this tense little ball, and every time I try poking it with a stick, the response is, "AAAAUGH GO AWAY."
I've been trying to get over the job thing, but I haven't... really mourned it yet. I want to get over it, but I suppose I can't until I've worked through it and accepted that their decision does not reflect personally on me.
George was saying just this morning that he can't understand why I'm not writing. I left my job at the college specifically so I could write. He was like, "I don't get it; you've had two years to finish this thing. How come you're not working on it?" So that's a little frustrating too, because he's right -- I should have finished it by now. I've got a lot done on it, but it's not DONE.
I should just stick with the comfort, and not go on to the relaying thoughts, but we know that's not really me. As always, ignore my rambles where you see fit.
First off ... you're one of the most elegant writers I've ever had the pleasure to read. Family ... well, they suck when it comes to getting them to actually read stuff. Sure, they're going to tell you that you should work on the original novels and get them submitted, but when it becomes an issue of ponying up and reading the drafts? They won't do it. I think they're afraid that it's not as good as they're trying to convince you it is, because they're family and they kind of have to say that. So long as they don't actually read it, they can continue with the encouragement and not have to risk feeling obligated to criticize
( ... )
I learned yesterday that there's a local SBA chapter run by retired business owners who give free advice to young would-be entrepreneurs. I'm kind of afraid to hunt them down, but I think I may do it anyway. Also www.sba.gov is a wealth of information I see myself poking at in the near future.
I don't take failure well, but I think I could survive if an effort like this crashed and burned. I think. I hope? I think.
I can see where you're coming from on the writing aspect. Before I started with fanfiction (and after, who am I kidding?) I was certain I sucked and would never make it as a writer. And know what? As long as I have this attitude, I'm right. I'll never succeed.
After the sequel is finished (since I promised to write it, otherwise that's what I'd be doing now) I'm going to give this whole writing thing a real try. It's old wisdom, but it's true that it's better to try and fail than never try at all. That only leads to regret, and that's not something to you want to carry around when everything is said and done.
Everyone feels like you do. Just don't let it beat you down. Demons of self doubt are +5 to all their attacks /uncalled for gaming reference. I say stomp their ass and go out there and do your best.
Yeah, venturing into the original stuff is a whole different ball of wax, that's for sure. I really just want to get the two WIPs I have out there finished (OGAM is closer to the end than the other one, alas), and then distance myself more from fanfiction. I'll still write it, I'm sure, because it's an addiction, but no more OMG HUGE MONSTERFICS.
But those demons of self-doubt can and will kick your ass if you let them, you're absolutely right.
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kara, your writing has always been good, and continues to improve. your dream will be realized one day. maybe not this year and maybe not next year, but it will. please don't give up on yourself.
have you contact the school to see if there was a specific area that you didn't quite meet their expectations on? ask in such a way that you are inquiring for continual improvement and development. it is common practice in the business environment, and shouldn't be out of place in academics either.
*hugs*
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I don't know if I can/should/ought to contact the school -- I really suspect it has either to do with a lack of high school experience specifically, or the fact that my specialty area lies in British literature, and they might have found a candidate with more experience in American Lit. Which, if I'm going to be brutally honest with myself, was the one thing I wasn't keen on -- I'm not an American Lit fan. So... it's probably for the best, but I need to lick my wounds a bit more I think.
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send away! i'm merith@cox.net.
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Secondly, and this is honestly a bit selfish, I truly hope you do open the tea shop. The idea of actually having a place run by someone competent whose knowledge of teas I trust and whose style and tastes I like, and having it only a couple hours away is enough to make me fangirl. Trust me, if you open the shop, you've got yourself one guaranteed regular customer, gas money be damned.
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But it is a huge commitment and that scares me.
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As far as the commitment factor goes, I sort of understand (as well as someone who isn't even done with school and still lives at home can). I'd love to be able to both write something that I was happy enough with to submit for publication, and eventually own a small bookstore of my own. But I can't really remember the last time I touched my original and the store is something that I mentally stuck in a box labeled "future dream" and occasionally take out play with, but only when no one is around to catch me.
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I'm not surprised you aren't writing right now. Creative endeavors require some measure of serenity (or at least they do for me), and I also find myself unable to write when most of my brain's CPU cycles are consumed with fretting and worrying and stressing.
Give yourself some time to mourn the job you didn't get. It'll get better in time, I promise.
Reply
I've been trying to get over the job thing, but I haven't... really mourned it yet. I want to get over it, but I suppose I can't until I've worked through it and accepted that their decision does not reflect personally on me.
George was saying just this morning that he can't understand why I'm not writing. I left my job at the college specifically so I could write. He was like, "I don't get it; you've had two years to finish this thing. How come you're not working on it?" So that's a little frustrating too, because he's right -- I should have finished it by now. I've got a lot done on it, but it's not DONE.
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First off ... you're one of the most elegant writers I've ever had the pleasure to read. Family ... well, they suck when it comes to getting them to actually read stuff. Sure, they're going to tell you that you should work on the original novels and get them submitted, but when it becomes an issue of ponying up and reading the drafts? They won't do it. I think they're afraid that it's not as good as they're trying to convince you it is, because they're family and they kind of have to say that. So long as they don't actually read it, they can continue with the encouragement and not have to risk feeling obligated to criticize ( ... )
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I learned yesterday that there's a local SBA chapter run by retired business owners who give free advice to young would-be entrepreneurs. I'm kind of afraid to hunt them down, but I think I may do it anyway. Also www.sba.gov is a wealth of information I see myself poking at in the near future.
I don't take failure well, but I think I could survive if an effort like this crashed and burned. I think. I hope? I think.
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After the sequel is finished (since I promised to write it, otherwise that's what I'd be doing now) I'm going to give this whole writing thing a real try. It's old wisdom, but it's true that it's better to try and fail than never try at all. That only leads to regret, and that's not something to you want to carry around when everything is said and done.
Everyone feels like you do. Just don't let it beat you down. Demons of self doubt are +5 to all their attacks /uncalled for gaming reference. I say stomp their ass and go out there and do your best.
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But those demons of self-doubt can and will kick your ass if you let them, you're absolutely right.
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