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Pause. Breathe. Stop. Think. Panic. Blink. Gasp. Question. In this one moment, I feel everything. Every emotion imaginable. And the questions arise like an army at attention. They march forth with such fury that nothing I've built to protect my heart can stop them. It's just the beginning.

If he lied to me about this for years...bold face lied, ( Read more... )

i laugh to myself, quietly. as i already feel my fears start to hold me back. it's silly how we cling to what we know. make excuses. bind the ties. weather the storm. i am resisting this urge to back down, and it is taking a monumental amount of self control. every day is a new battle, most i lose...but i view it like conditioning. one day, after ( Read more... )

i have been dreading these ten days, like a plague of locust. not only because it would take me away from my beautiful studio down town, but because it would put me here. where it all began. for the next week and a half, i am house sitting for my parents who are off enjoying each other and the beaches of hawaii. this is it...this is what i have ( Read more... )

one death, two new tattoos, and three long weeks. i sometimes lose control of where my head is these days. oh, wait...over there (picks up, wipes off hair, smooths out eyebrows, then reattaches). it's as if my body, brain, and heart are all on different pages...all content and going their own way. i regain consciousness occasionally to communicate ( Read more... )

watch the strings unravel, spin wildly out of control...cross stitch the seams of this broken heart. no thimble can take the sting from these calloused fingers. "we have to be ruthless" rings in my head like the spirit of this time. i question every intention for the right reasons, now. i am young, broke, and free for the first time since i left my ( Read more... )

it's been eighty two days since the life i had come to know and love started tearing at the seams. i resisted every second of every day, in denial of what was happening. thinking that it was all just a nightmare, and eventually i would wake up where i felt i belonged. for one thousand and eighty hours i waited on the precipice...he never came for ( Read more... )

He staked me out, marked as his property, said I was the only girl he would ever love, then he neglected me. -Jean Louise

There are just some kind of men who - who're so busy worrying about the next world they've never learned to live in this one, and you can look down the street and see the results. -Miss Maudie

i have very recently fallen in love again. miss maudie might be my favorite character in To Kill a Mockingbird. i laid by the pool for nearly four hours on ( Read more... )

 
i  feel like that episode of seinfeld where kramer falls asleep on the roof coated in butter. i think my insides are literally nearing 450 degrees. the front of the salon is approximately 16 feet high windows...even through black blinds, i can feel my flesh cooking. this is my last day here running the front desk for entourage hair design. i will ( Read more... )

i can never wait for summer to get here, but every year it reminds me i was made for winter. the heat makes me sweat like a whore in church, and i inevitably give up on make-up all together. i do graciously enjoy swimming, especially our trip on sunday to the dunes in michigan city...however, i continue to dream of summer's end. turning leaves, ( Read more... )