I Think I Might Be Strange

[veazey21]

Most of this week, I've felt rather rotten. Bad headache, very strong desire to sleep a lot to escape the pain, overall malaise, that kind of thing. And I've been fixating a little too much on how the migraines are taking my life out from under me. I feel like I'm tying my shoes in the middle of a marathon

Comments

[yattaboe]

It sucks that everything is so painful and frustrating, I can't even imagine having that level and constancy of migraines. The Asheville home sounds awesome, I wouldn't mind living in that area someday, or someplace like it

[veazey21]

Because of the migraine and how sensitive I am to lights and noises, I'm constantly on the edge of being in a bad mood. I put a fair amount of effort into staying civil and cordial, but I don't know how well I do. You'd have to ask my parents, since I see them more than anybody else. It's not so much that I question "should I react this way?" but "does an emotional reaction benefit me in this situation?" If it would be more helpful to stay calm, I put a lot of effort into doing that to resolve things quicker and easier. I take a very analytical approach to things sometimes.

And I'll be sure to get at least one fold-out couch should I win the Blog Cabin (I hate that name), so people can come go hiking, stargazing, and all that.

[yattaboe]

That totally makes sense.

You should ride the lulz of the name Blog Cabin!

[veazey21]

If I didn't hate the word "blog" quite so much, I probably would. It's just an ugly-sounding word, a shortening for the sake of typing less. "Weblog" is so much more descriptive, even if Firefox's spell-checker thinks it's not a word.

[spazmire]

Heh, does that sword have two ends? When you feel great for immediately do you try and make yourself feel bad?

I do a similar thing to my emotions, except I usually end up close to the axis of the graph. It's sort of like biofeedback and the such, if you're taught you can control body functions like heart rate, blood pressure and what's more then why can't that idea expand? I learned to control all my natural fight or flight chemicals, so why not emotions.

It's a dangerous and strange line to walk.

But on the bright side of all this, if someday you're migraines stop you're lust to live will be significantly more intense than it ever was before.

[veazey21]

Lately, if I suddenly feel better, and try to figure out why, it usually takes me right to "Oh, my head doesn't hurt so bad." But, I also don't put quite as much effort into figuring out why, which I attribute to "pretty crappy" being my default state. If things get worse, I try to understand why, but if things get better I'm just glad the load is lighter.

[davrtayl]

i got no gripes with self-analysis.

God, please be with william and help him with this pain. Holy Spirit, come. be his strength and his portion. “Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” fill him with the knowledge of Your love for him, and let him know that You have a purpose for him, even in this.

there are times that God makes us lie down in green pastures because if Ge doesn't make us then we'll never do it. there are times also that Ge tells us that His grace is sufficient for us, and that the thorn's gonna stay for now. i don't know if that's what He's doing right now or not, but i do know that He loves you and always has. All things work together for good, remember, even if the things themselves are terrible.

hope you feel better soon, man, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and whatever-else-ly.

[veazey21]

Faith has done a lot to help me through this, both my own and the prayers of others, and I do appreciate it. Very much.

[davrtayl]

any time, brother.