I Think I Might Be Strange

[veazey21]

Most of this week, I've felt rather rotten. Bad headache, very strong desire to sleep a lot to escape the pain, overall malaise, that kind of thing. And I've been fixating a little too much on how the migraines are taking my life out from under me. I feel like I'm tying my shoes in the middle of a marathon

Comments

[yattaboe]

It sucks that everything is so painful and frustrating, I can't even imagine having that level and constancy of migraines. The Asheville home sounds awesome, I wouldn't mind living in that area someday, or someplace like it.
The stuff you say about emotions is really interesting. But I think it's complicated, you know? People experience emotions differently, and experience them differently at different times in different conditions... I guess I think that in some moments, it's not so possible to step back and trace what's happening right then. It sounds like becoming better and better at doing so is an important strategy for you in keeping things from at least escalating even more? I know when I have migraines, intense emotions make it hurt even more, aside from things just being crappier from being in physical and emotional pain/discomfort/what have you. It's also interesting because I think sometimes people are in certain conditions so that they learn to constantly question their emotional experiences in a not so helpful way... never feeling 'justified' for feeling the way they do... compounding then a crappy situation and crappy feelings with guilt for feeling crappy. Anyway, I seem to be blogging on your blog. How embarrassing. How much better it would be to blog from a blog cabin. I'll be rooting for you!

[veazey21]

Because of the migraine and how sensitive I am to lights and noises, I'm constantly on the edge of being in a bad mood. I put a fair amount of effort into staying civil and cordial, but I don't know how well I do. You'd have to ask my parents, since I see them more than anybody else. It's not so much that I question "should I react this way?" but "does an emotional reaction benefit me in this situation?" If it would be more helpful to stay calm, I put a lot of effort into doing that to resolve things quicker and easier. I take a very analytical approach to things sometimes.

And I'll be sure to get at least one fold-out couch should I win the Blog Cabin (I hate that name), so people can come go hiking, stargazing, and all that.

[yattaboe]

That totally makes sense.

You should ride the lulz of the name Blog Cabin!

[veazey21]

If I didn't hate the word "blog" quite so much, I probably would. It's just an ugly-sounding word, a shortening for the sake of typing less. "Weblog" is so much more descriptive, even if Firefox's spell-checker thinks it's not a word.