The finish line's a good place we could start

[valhalla37]

Title: The finish line's a good place we could start
Characters/Pairings: Daniel, Eloise, Charlotte, Theresa (slight Dan/Theresa, Dan/Charlotte)
Rating: PG
Summary: He will do this a thousand times, fail a thousand times.
Spoilers/Warnings: Up to 5x14; character death.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
A/N: Written for thequillstation's Spooky Lost Fic Battle and ozmissage's prompt of

Comments

[ozmissage]

OH...MY...GOD

[saved29]

I am speechless!

[valhalla37]

Wow, thank you so much! :D

[franza]

so beautifully writtern, XD poor dearest Danny. Loved this. It makes me think about Theresa.
I like Theresa, in a weird way, she's so tradegic and I just don't care about her at all and shes so forgetable, but that is why i like her. Which is strange but how my brain works.
For the few seconds we saw her on the show i got the impression she was sort of like the anti-Charlotte, but only because i imagined Charlotte telling Eloise where to get off and inviting herself to lunch rather than being so polite and understanding, lol, and it made me smile.

[valhalla37]

Thank you so much!

I like Theresa, too -- like I was saying to someone above, she fulfills kind of a cool role for Dan (though obviously never really getting any of her own development) and I like that she's a catalyst for big things happening in his life.

Yeah, I got the impression as well that both her and Charlotte were nuturing of Daniel in very different ways -- Theresa was gentler and sweet, while Charlotte kind of gave him that determined push to go forward. They're so different but I could see why they'd both appeal to him at one time or another.

[missy_useless]

Oh my, hallelujah. This is heartbreakingly beautiful and incredibly well written (your sentences are always so well crafted, so gorgeous) and perfect and - brilliant, a million times over. Amazing, amazing, amazing work! Wow. I am in love with the opening and ending lines (!), and I love, love, love how you included Theresa and Eloise and even Caroline in this. And Charlotte, of course - but you are the Queen of Dan/Charlotte, forever, and stating that over and over again - in half of my comments here - seems kind of silly. ;) You are ridiculously talented, seriously; I really do hope that you know that. Again: Wonderful work!

[valhalla37]

Awwwww, hun, you are wonderful with your feedback as always! :D I always get so excited to see a comment from you, and they make my day without fail!

I am in love with the opening and ending lines -- whew, good! I've been using a lot of repetition devices lately, and I wasn't sure if I was going overboard or what. It's just been the kind of cadence my writing's been stuck in, I guess!

Haha, yeah, I guess without even realizing it I included all of the women who've been important in Dan's life. :D

You are so sweet and thoughtful -- thank you again!

[sedauny]

This is heartbreaking. It's all very sad and well-phrased, but I felt the first crack at
--it has to. It always does. and a deeper split at
He would trade the whole universe to be what she wanted, after all.
and it all came apart (with finality) at
(This is all there ever was.)

I liked that poor Theresa was part of the story, and that he did remember her (if not her name), but Charlotte is the more immediate presence, so that Dan's feeling of healing around her focuses him and the distance of memory loss keeps him from seeming fickle. The recurring presence of his mother ties everything together, just as it did on the show, with the theme of destiny turning to futility that is her leitmotif.

[valhalla37]

Wow, thank you so much!

I really appreciate, especially, that you point to particular to those lines, since they're some of things I really wanted to get across -- the futility of what he's trying (or always tried) to do, how instrumental Eloise is in determining not just his death but everything leading up to it and that in the end it was pretty much all for naught (though I think you could make a potentially convincing argument for the whole 'it's the journey, not the destination'-type thing).

Charlotte is the more immediate presence, so that Dan's feeling of healing around her focuses him and the distance of memory loss keeps him from seeming fickle. This is exactly, exactly what I was trying to go for -- it took me a while as a Dan/Charlotte writer to reconcile the fact he leaves Theresa and falls for Charlotte so quickly, but I figure that kind of illness probably creates a really firm dividing line between the past and present.

Thanks again for all the wonderful, thoughtful feedback and insights!

[elliotsmelliot]

Oh how futile. Sure it is all cause and effect, but it happens every time. Not only that, it happens to Dan again and again within the same cycle with both Thersa and Charlotte succumbing. That this happens over and over again is so horrific and tragic. I lvoe how you portrayed all this is such a fleeting manner. It gave a great sense of fragile hope.

Thanks for getting the challenge off to a great start!

[valhalla37]

Thank you so much! His story's already so tragic in canon, but I figured I could try and wring a little bit more out of it. ;D

And thanks to you for getting the challenge together! I had so much fun doing it; I only wish I'd had time to write a couple more!