[Barney Stinson is bored. And a Bored Barney is a troublesome Barney. So, he's just exploring Goldenrod today, looking for something to do about his boredom
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[Hello, Barney! There is now a man with a very neat bowler hat tapping at the screen with a finger, before realizing that yes, this strange new device is on.]
Oh, there we go! Got that working out, finally...
[He also sounds very, very British.]
So, hmmm, let's see...problems? Well, would you mind terribly if I asked you where I am? My DARSIT seems to have taken the wrong turn on the way to the planet of Anglogophilus and I hope you're not too terribly bothered to tell me what is going on.
[Give him a minute as there were a lot of words that don't quite compute. Mostly the name of that planet, but Barney recovers quickly enough because he has all the answers. All of them]
Can do, bro. You're in Johto. Ever hear of pokemon?
Johnto? And Pokemon. Hmmm. Let me think...that game came out in twenty- no, nineteen ninety six, didn't it? The one where you capture all the creatures to use in battles and such.
[Audio.] I hope this is okay. ;;hasearthbooksDecember 13 2011, 14:54:56 UTC
[This is Gorthan who wants as few people as possible to see him right now, since he's reverted back to his original body. He also thinks this is worth a shot. It's perhaps one of the worst evaluations that this super-smart guy has ever made in his life. His voice sounds dark and deep with a secret inquietude.]Well. Barney, is it? My name is Gorthan. A few days ago, I had the pleasure of meeting this young woman. ... I can safely say that she is the single most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on. I seem to keep thinking of her. Of how absolutely perfect she is
( ... )
[Audio.] The adjective seems appropriate somehow. No idea why. >>;hasearthbooksDecember 14 2011, 08:05:36 UTC
... A crush? ... I can't have a crush. It's just not... [Biochemically possible. Though technically, at least in his human body, it is.] ... I am simply not capable of experiencing romantic feelings. I have never been, at any rate.
And even besides that, and regardless of her level of physical and mental development, both being astoundingly above the average, she is sixteen. I am over forty.
I have talked to her. And I believe I know what to say. But... Somehow I don't think it's quite enough.
[Then his tone changes slightly, acquiring a much less grave quality.]
... I feel I want to learn everything about her, and share my everything with her in turn.
[Suspicious Barney is slightly suspicious as even though he's a sleeze, he has his own morals.]
So, you want a relationship with her, but you don't think you're in love with her? Even though it sounds like you are, which is kinda creepy dude. Not gonna lie.
[Incoming youth at the booth! It's just a text, but that's just because he's technologically illiterate at the moment. And the question is embarrassing. Give him time.]
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Oh, there we go! Got that working out, finally...
[He also sounds very, very British.]
So, hmmm, let's see...problems? Well, would you mind terribly if I asked you where I am? My DARSIT seems to have taken the wrong turn on the way to the planet of Anglogophilus and I hope you're not too terribly bothered to tell me what is going on.
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[Give him a minute as there were a lot of words that don't quite compute. Mostly the name of that planet, but Barney recovers quickly enough because he has all the answers. All of them]
Can do, bro. You're in Johto. Ever hear of pokemon?
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[And Barney is forever torn between thinking it's awesome and thinking it sucks]
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Sounds like you have a pretty serious crush there, bro. Have you talked to her, or just admired from afar?
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And even besides that, and regardless of her level of physical and mental development, both being astoundingly above the average, she is sixteen. I am over forty.
I have talked to her. And I believe I know what to say. But... Somehow I don't think it's quite enough.
[Then his tone changes slightly, acquiring a much less grave quality.]
... I feel I want to learn everything about her, and share my everything with her in turn.
[Can you tell he's in denial?]
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[Suspicious Barney is slightly suspicious as even though he's a sleeze, he has his own morals.]
So, you want a relationship with her, but you don't think you're in love with her? Even though it sounds like you are, which is kinda creepy dude. Not gonna lie.
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[He is a rather mad okra, so please excuse him nearly shouting with apoplexy into the gear.]
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Because they're cute? And make great pets? That's the best I got.
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Yeah. Who are you and what's going on?
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Rin Okumura. I don't listen to radio much. [But he says he can answer anything soooooo...] What sort of problems do you solve?
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What knowledge would you have to share anyway?
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Um, all of it? I've done a lot so I can talk about a lot of things.
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. . . Okay, what do you know about pretty girls?
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