[Barney Stinson is bored. And a Bored Barney is a troublesome Barney. So, he's just exploring Goldenrod today, looking for something to do about his boredom
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[Audio.] I hope this is okay. ;;hasearthbooksDecember 13 2011, 14:54:56 UTC
[This is Gorthan who wants as few people as possible to see him right now, since he's reverted back to his original body. He also thinks this is worth a shot. It's perhaps one of the worst evaluations that this super-smart guy has ever made in his life. His voice sounds dark and deep with a secret inquietude.]Well. Barney, is it? My name is Gorthan. A few days ago, I had the pleasure of meeting this young woman. ... I can safely say that she is the single most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on. I seem to keep thinking of her. Of how absolutely perfect she is
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[Audio.] The adjective seems appropriate somehow. No idea why. >>;hasearthbooksDecember 14 2011, 08:05:36 UTC
... A crush? ... I can't have a crush. It's just not... [Biochemically possible. Though technically, at least in his human body, it is.] ... I am simply not capable of experiencing romantic feelings. I have never been, at any rate.
And even besides that, and regardless of her level of physical and mental development, both being astoundingly above the average, she is sixteen. I am over forty.
I have talked to her. And I believe I know what to say. But... Somehow I don't think it's quite enough.
[Then his tone changes slightly, acquiring a much less grave quality.]
... I feel I want to learn everything about her, and share my everything with her in turn.
[Suspicious Barney is slightly suspicious as even though he's a sleeze, he has his own morals.]
So, you want a relationship with her, but you don't think you're in love with her? Even though it sounds like you are, which is kinda creepy dude. Not gonna lie.
[Audio.] Sorry for slow tagging! ;; Finals everywhere...hasearthbooksDecember 15 2011, 17:32:01 UTC
I am not in love with her. If I were, it would be nothing but bad news, and not just because of her age compared to mine.
I do care about her, however, even if my knowledge of her is still limited, which is an entirely new feeling to me. And the fact that this entire situation comes off as creepy to you is precisely the point. I wish to know her better and be close to her as a friend, but at the same time, I don't want to scare her away.
[Just the fact that he's admitting he wants to be friends with somebody is a huge step for him.]
[Nope, no weird secrets! ... Well, besides the fact that he's in Team Rocket, and then there's the fact that he's a science authority from a planet of militaristic vampires, the fact that he essentially engineers monsters to be used for mass destruction and the fact that countless people all over the Universe are now dead because of him and his work.]
I have a few, yes. And she's intelligent enough to deserve my sincerity and earnestness. But if she ever learns of those secrets, I could lose her forever.
That always makes things a bit more difficult, but in my experience I've found it's easiest just to act natural. If the conversation starts to steer in a direction you don't like, get away from it, but not obviously.
Would these secrets be obvious? Or can you avoid them on a regular basis?
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Sounds like you have a pretty serious crush there, bro. Have you talked to her, or just admired from afar?
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And even besides that, and regardless of her level of physical and mental development, both being astoundingly above the average, she is sixteen. I am over forty.
I have talked to her. And I believe I know what to say. But... Somehow I don't think it's quite enough.
[Then his tone changes slightly, acquiring a much less grave quality.]
... I feel I want to learn everything about her, and share my everything with her in turn.
[Can you tell he's in denial?]
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[Suspicious Barney is slightly suspicious as even though he's a sleeze, he has his own morals.]
So, you want a relationship with her, but you don't think you're in love with her? Even though it sounds like you are, which is kinda creepy dude. Not gonna lie.
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I do care about her, however, even if my knowledge of her is still limited, which is an entirely new feeling to me. And the fact that this entire situation comes off as creepy to you is precisely the point. I wish to know her better and be close to her as a friend, but at the same time, I don't want to scare her away.
[Just the fact that he's admitting he wants to be friends with somebody is a huge step for him.]
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You got some weird secret that would scare her away if she found out?
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I have a few, yes. And she's intelligent enough to deserve my sincerity and earnestness. But if she ever learns of those secrets, I could lose her forever.
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Would these secrets be obvious? Or can you avoid them on a regular basis?
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[Except that he was persecuted by his own people because of a certain secret he couldn't hide, but that's a whole different story.]
Well, thank you, Barney. Your input was illuminating.
... Ah, where are my manners? Should I have called you 'Mr. Stinson'?
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Hey man, I'm just glad I could help. And Barney's fine. [He'd say Mr. Stinson was his father, but...he doesn't know who his dad is so yeah]
Keep me posted, alright?
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