Your Ultimate Purity Score Is... CategoryYour Score Average Self-Lovin'55%
Explored the pleasures of the flesh 61.2%Shamelessness81%
Has yet to see self in mirror 76.6% Sex Drive 57.9%
A fool for love, but not always74.7%Straightness17.9%
Knows the other body type like a map 40% Gayness 92.9%
Repressed, are we? 79.1%
Fucking Sick84.1%
Refreshingly ( Read more... )

I lie like Mozart wrote music. Yet it's never about "screwing a hot stewardess I met on a business trip to Fresno" but moreso "I'm late because I dropped my keys into an elevator shaft, and was further delayed by a wandering troupe of Panamanian jugglers who confused me for a long-hated horse-thief that apparently was quite a dancer before he lost ( Read more... )

"Time ( Read more... )

For the first time...ever...I want to quit.
Am I worried about my health? Nah. There's simply no way
I'm paying a 5-spot every morning for a pack of Marlboros.
I'd just as soon adopt a nickel-a-day crack habit.
Hell, at the very least, it wouldn't be taxable.

and yea, we're all quite aware how fucking lame it was for me to allude to a Neil Diamond tune, but to disagree w/ another is to engage w/ him/her to begin with, and my-oh fucking-my, yours truly is looking for a rock-and-a-ring for my lady (never have before)and goddamit, if i'm not handling it like a shock-treated monkey in a Czechoslavakian ( Read more... )

maybe a week or so ago, i'm in the ubiquitous 7-11 (maybe three feet from my fucking front door...seems like anyway trying to decide between PEPPERED JERKY, A $3.99 ALLMAN BROS. TAPE, and ONE OF MANY SCATTERED BAGS OF SALTED SUNFLOWER SEEDS, and because the clerk left a full-bucket and-mop at the end of the aisle, which was so short, it was more ( Read more... )

The DC-9's ( Read more... )

sometimes. I wish I were more like those of you, out there ( Read more... )