-
@ FIRST BITE.
[ the ShipNET communicator fizzles with static, finally transmitting a startled cough. ]
-- ghh. What in the... where the 'ell is...?
...
I hear water. Th' fuck. I wasn' anywhere near water last I looked. I swear, if those human sons of bitches knocked me out an' dragged me off to who-knows-where, I'm gonna have to eat some faces...
[ pause ]
This is ( Read more... ) -
INTERVENTION
Everything below this point is taken from Iodine's previous stay on the M.S. Elegante. He doesn't remember any of it, so we'll be starting fresh here. Just so you know.
-
@ SIXTH BITE.
WHAT THE FUCK--
Oh. Oh. That is not fair. That is so. Not. Fair.
I'm already fuckin' disabled, you dirty sons'a bitches. Way ta be prejudiced. What did'ja do this time?! I know I ain't r'sponsible fer this shit, speak up.
[awkward pause]
Shit. Well, don' even, y'know. Bother respond'n to this. 'Cause I CAN'T FUCKING HEAR NOW EITHER AND MY GOOD ( Read more... ) -
@ FOURTH BITE.
Ohai~ So, um, what was that whole... like... fucked-up carnival shit about? Jeezus, that bear was creepy as all get-out.
Anyway, demented shit aside, my ickle coffee shop has been oh so very empty as of late!
JUST LIKE MY POOR, LONELY HEART. BOO HOO HOO.
You all make me sad, goin' around an' killing people and not even bothering to like, y'know. Talk ( Read more... ) -
@ THIRD BITE.
H'okay, so... uh. What's goin' on with all this screamin' about "lotion" an' "magazines" and shit? I ain't seen any of that. In my personal opinion, you're all a bunch'a damn liars who need to learn ta shut up. Ch. Yer disruptin' my beauty sleep~
... speakin' of stuff. I need a fuckin' toothbrush. I mean, they have 'em in my room, but they're so ( Read more... ) -
@ SECOND BITE.
H'okay. So I think I get it now. We're on a fuckin' ship for absolutely no good reason. What.
... WHAT.
I'm hopin' this "Golden Shore" place is right fucking next door so I can get off this stupid thing and go back home. Jeezus. I don't take it any'a you bastards have an idea as to exactly where it is?
Chh, I won't get my hopes up. At least I have a ( Read more... ) -
@ FIRST BITE.
Neh? Whut in the--
Hell--?!
W-where th' fuck is this? Shit, did I eat somethin' funny or-- jeezus, if this ain't the screwiest... damn. Am I dreamin'...? Don't normally dream much.
[a resounding clatter, followed by hurried footsteps and the slamming of palms against glass.]
Is... what? Water?! There isn' no water near...
...
Okay. Someone explain this ( Read more... )