@ FIRST BITE.

[unelemental]

[ the ShipNET communicator fizzles with static, finally transmitting a startled cough. ]

-- ghh. What in the... where the 'ell is...?

...

I hear water. Th' fuck. I wasn' anywhere near water last I looked. I swear, if those human sons of bitches knocked me out an' dragged me off to who-knows-where, I'm gonna have to eat some faces...

[ pause ]

This is

Comments

[hylian_courage]

You don't need to yell.

You're on the M.S. Elegante, I'm sorry to tell you...

[unelemental]

M.S. what? I didn' catch that, kid.

[hylian_courage]

The M.S. Elegante. It's a ship. You've been kidnapped, like the rest of us.

[unelemental]

Kidnapped? Oh hell no, no one does that shit to me, no matter who they are.

Who the hell is responsible? Eh? Spit it out.

[pimp_hat]

So dey got anoddah one eh?

[Sigh]

Dis ain't evah gonna end...

[unelemental]

Another one? ... tchh. So 'm not the only person stuck in whatever the hell this place is.

Care to clarify, ehh? I'm not in the most patient of moods y'know.

[pimp_hat]

Dis be hell mon. Da pink-skins take us here and put us into dere arenas. Dey makes us fight until we die.

[unelemental]

... okay WHAT? Fuck no.

And... 'ey, my skin is pink.

You racist.

[Text]

[screwsparkles]

Someone's probably gonna beat me to this, but.

You're on a cruise ship called the M.S. Elegante, and we're heading for the Golden Shore. Don't ask where that is, people other than the crew don't know and the crew won't tell you jack.

Re: [Text]

[unelemental]

A cruise ship. A bloody cruise ship.

...

Kh. Guess it could be worse. Not like I was up'ta much back in the underworld anyway. What the fuck is the Gol-- oh, gotcha. Well. That blows.

Who're you?

[Text]

[screwsparkles]

Name's Evelyn, I've been here for about...three months now. I can attest to the fact that the ship really isn't all that bad, though some people might whine and say it is.

Re: [Text]

[unelemental]

Tch. I hope I can take yer word for it, someone else is busy tellin' me otherwise as we speak. So we're all just... stuck on this piece of crap, then?

[psychoticracer]

Mmm, Kage must be busy.

Welcome to the motherfucking Hellboat. Watch out for the psychopaths, we have knives. Well, unless you are one, in which case welcome the fuck aboard, I recommend Camp Carnival up on 04.

No one stays dead though, and the Captain's omnipotent or something and punishes for violence... wet blanket.

[unelemental]

... okay what?

I got M.S. Elegante an' I got Hellboat, which one is this piece'a crap? An' I guess you could call me a psychopath if you ain't into demons.

[devious cackle]

This all sounds like a load of tripe if'y ask me. Omnipotent captain? What. Come on.

[psychoticracer]

Uh huh.

Introduce yourself to the perpetual fire on Deck 11, the sentient bears serving raw fish on 08, and the deck with a SKY on 13.

Then kill or rape someone - with no witnesses - and get teleported to the brig for three days within a matter of hours. Oh yes, and whomever you killed comes back in one day, so they gain two days on you. Annoying.

No no, go on, it'll be fun to watch.

[unelemental]

[shenghuanzhe]

I'm First Mate Kage and you're on board the MS Elegante. We're going to the Golden Shore, so until we get there, your job is to kick back and relax. You need somethin' or have any questions, ask myself or any other crewmember.

[unelemental]

Okay, Firs' Mate Kage. Questions. Where the fuck is the Golden Shore, damn it all? No one's telling me anything worthwhile an' it's pissin' me off.