The Girl with Flaxen Hair - Chapter Thirteen

Jun 27, 2011 14:18

As he succumbs to the illness that robbed him of his family, a lonely man finds solace in a dream...


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the girl with flaxen hair

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Comments 38

cmdc June 27 2011, 18:58:57 UTC
I love outsiderpovs! Maire and Gull can go eff themselves. I know Gull (or at least, a dr Gull)was a real person, was he a dick? It seems most doctors at that time were but then most that I've read of them involved "female complaints" where they naturally echoed the hideous attitudes of the time. I'm so glad that at least Margaret knew the old William, poor thing.

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cmdc June 27 2011, 19:13:38 UTC
I kinda like the idea that William lives in our world (non-supernaturalled) and is being visited by Buffy from the jossverse. I am easily amused.

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unbridled_b June 27 2011, 19:30:21 UTC
Oh, I like a reader who is easily amused. Makes my job that much simpler. ;D

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unbridled_b June 27 2011, 19:28:59 UTC
Good Lord, am I glad you mentioned the doctor in your review, because I referred to him by the wrong name. *blush*

William Gull was a Baronet and physician who served the royal family. He must have been a good doctor, because he saved Edward VII's life once. I don't think he was supposed to be any more of an ass than any other Victorian gentleman. ;)

Since William referred to Gull in "Lies My Parents Told Me," I assume he was their doctor while they lived in London. In this story, William has moved to Westbury, Wiltshire, and he has employed a local doctor, who is an asshole. Why I referred to him by the wrong name I don't know. Just a temporary lapse in brain activity I suppose. But it's fixed now ( ... )

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cuille June 27 2011, 19:14:05 UTC
I love that you did this mostly from Margaret's point of view. You did it very well, and it heightened my sorrow for William. I feel so bad for him and wonder what will become of him. It really doesn't seem too hopeful. This story continues to pull at my heartstrings.

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unbridled_b June 27 2011, 22:12:47 UTC
Thank you! A lot of readers have mentioned that this William doesn't bear much resemblance to the one we saw on the series, which is true. However, he did start out that way. I'm hoping that this chapter, along with scenes scattered throughout future chapters, will show how he got from that point to this.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. :)

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slaymesoftly June 27 2011, 19:38:34 UTC
Wonderful glimpses of how he's seen by his servants. Love that the woman who knew him as a boy can remember the sweetness that life seems to have squeezed out of him. Oh, it can't be a good idea for him to take more laudanum! Except, of course, that he might get some real rest. Poor William. Love's Bitch no matter where or when.

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unbridled_b June 27 2011, 22:17:32 UTC
Thank you! I know that William doesn't always come off as the most lovable of characters in this story, so I thought it might help if readers could see him through the eyes of someone who knows him and sympathizes with him. As for the decidedly unsympathetic scullery maid, well, she's just fun to write. ;D

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slaymesoftly June 27 2011, 22:30:06 UTC
*nods* it was an excellent idea. Brings back the sympathy for William, who has been struggling to be likeable lately. :)

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lutamira June 27 2011, 19:52:19 UTC
The William you are writing is so interesting and complex. He's got some scars that need tending too, just like Buffy. I can't wait to see what the two of them are like when they actually start communicating with one another!

I like the behind-the-scenes look at life in William's household. It helps us understand more about him, even if not all the servants know him as well as Margaret.

I am unhappy with Dr. Long. William needs less laudanum, not more!

This chapter drew me in, made me happy and left me wanting more, just like all your chapters do. :)

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unbridled_b June 27 2011, 22:25:24 UTC
Thank you so much for the kind review!

I'm so happy you find William interesting. My goal was to do something completely different with the character, make him pretty much unrecognizable from the William in FtTP. Not that I didn't love that William. I just don't see the point in rehashing the same story all over again.

Originally, William's laudanum use was only supposed to last two or three chapters. I'm not sure what happened there. It took on a life of its own. My stories tend to do that. ;)

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jacobs_muse June 27 2011, 21:22:13 UTC
4 nights! Poor fellow. Now I'm worried how long she'll be gone.

That first line from Maire reminds me of my grandmother's exclamations, and her Irish mother probably said exactly that. :) My great-grandfather was around William's age, born in 1851-ish.

Both POVs were very realized....you have nothing to worry about. It's nice to see more confirmations that Buffy really had been there. And ugh, not a helpful doctor.

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unbridled_b June 27 2011, 22:33:00 UTC
That first line from Maire reminds me of my grandmother's exclamations, and her Irish mother probably said exactly that. :) My great-grandfather was around William's age, born in 1851-ish.

It makes me very happy to read this. Personally, I'm not a huge fan of writing characters' accents phonetically, but I still want them to come across to the reader. If Máire's dialogue makes you think of your grandmother, well, I must be doing something right.

Both POVs were very realized....you have nothing to worry about. It's nice to see more confirmations that Buffy really had been there. And ugh, not a helpful doctor.

Thank you! :D

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jacobs_muse June 28 2011, 00:19:58 UTC
Her particular one was "Judas priest!" but yes. More reminds me of stories about her mother. :D I've read my great-grandmother's journal from 1914 when they moved from OK to PA by wagon. She was born around 1869 and my grandmother was the last of 8 adult children (she birthed 10).

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