The Girl with Flaxen Hair - Chapter Thirteen

Jun 27, 2011 14:18

As he succumbs to the illness that robbed him of his family, a lonely man finds solace in a dream...


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the girl with flaxen hair

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Comments 38

rebcake June 27 2011, 21:36:35 UTC
Margaret thought it must be a woman. A fancy woman, no doubt

Heh. Because fancy women make rural house calls in the middle of the night all the time. Of course, the truth of William's case is far more unbelievable.

It's so interesting to see the deterioration of William and Anne's relationship through Margaret's eyes. You've made Anne's canon disillusionment into a plausible result of their relationship. So many misunderstandings!

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unbridled_b June 27 2011, 22:43:01 UTC
Heh. Because fancy women make rural house calls in the middle of the night all the time.

lol. I'm a cynic. I think every town has its prostitutes, particularly back in the day when sex was a commodity and ladies needed to keep their virginity in order to trade on it. But, yeah, I'm thinking most of them would insist that he come to them. Or, at the very least, provide a place where they could conduct their business indoors.

It's so interesting to see the deterioration of William and Anne's relationship through Margaret's eyes. You've made Anne's canon disillusionment into a plausible result of their relationship. So many misunderstandings!

William's relationship with his mother was presented in such a weird way. You could look at it and think, "Well, they're just really close and a bit overprotective of each other." Or, you could examine it in a different light and find yourself thinking, "Whoa, this is really not healthy." I'm not one of those viewers who saw something sexual in their LMPTM scenes (not until she was vamped, of ( ... )

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prophecygirrl June 27 2011, 22:15:42 UTC
A gem of a chapter -- the external POVs add richness and give the 'verse depth. And somehow, seeing William's desolation through someone else's eyes makes it all the more heartbreaking.

*sobs*

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unbridled_b June 27 2011, 22:44:30 UTC
Thank you!

This story really is turning out a lot angstier than I first planned. But don't worry. I'm not going to give you more than you can handle. ;D

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Cloud Nine anonymous June 27 2011, 22:48:29 UTC
Frankly, the laudanum business is very disturbing for anyone who has watched a loved one suffer with a drug addiction, or even for anyone who knows the sad tales of those actual Victorians who succumbed to it as well. I for one would have been happy had you mitigated it a bit. Oh well, at least the utter hopelessness and circularity of the situation is realistic, sigh. I've never had trouble sympathizing with any of your Williams, even this one, though. Having an outsider's sympathetic perspective is useful here anyway. As always, your attention to detail, depth of historical knowledge and storytelling ability are both enjoyable and astounding.

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Re: Cloud Nine unbridled_b June 28 2011, 23:32:23 UTC
I'm sorry you find the business with the laudanum disturbing. As I said to another reader, I didn't intend for it to play such a large role in the story. I started with a very rough outline of what I knew I wanted, and the plot just grew organically from there. It certainly isn't my intention to offend anyone.

That being said, I have loved ones who are alcoholic, so I understand the impact substance abuse has--not just on the individual, but also those around him. Laudanum was, as you said, sadly overused in the Victorian era. By including this in the story, I am in no way trying to make light of the problem. Actually, it feels more disrespectful to me to have William take the drug once or twice and then never refer to it again, although I understand why others might not feel the same.

Anyway, I want to thank you for taking the time to review. I hope you continue to read and enjoy the story, but if you feel you cannot, I understand that as well. I greatly appreciate your feedback.

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molliemole June 28 2011, 00:32:56 UTC
William seems to be going downhill at a pretty good clip. If Buffy intends to help him health-wise, she'd better get on with it soon. Or, perhaps you have something completely different in mind. I guess I'll just have to patiently wait and see where you're going with the story.

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unbridled_b June 29 2011, 00:21:00 UTC
William seems to be going downhill at a pretty good clip.

He is. Sadly, some of it is his own doing. But we'll get to that later. ;)

If Buffy intends to help him health-wise, she'd better get on with it soon. Or, perhaps you have something completely different in mind. I guess I'll just have to patiently wait and see where you're going with the story.

I'm afraid you guys have already had to be much too patient with me. Hopefully, I'll be able to update the story at a more reasonable pace from here on out. Thanks so much for sticking with it this long. *hugs*

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sarian71 June 28 2011, 10:13:30 UTC
Yes, servants have eyes and ears, too. Not much gets past them... It was so great to get new insight into William from outside pov! Margaret has known William for a long time and has seen him change from a sweet boy to this deeply unhappy wreck of a man. I now feel for William even more than before. I also liked the dynamics between William and Margaret, there's certain kind of trust and understanding between them.

And the not so flattering conclusion that was drawn about Buffy? Sadly, it was the only conclusion that can be made under these circumstances.

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unbridled_b June 29 2011, 15:32:57 UTC
Thank you! I really enjoyed writing this chapter, but I was nervous about posting it since it was written entirely from the POV of original characters. So far feedback has been pretty positive, so I'm very happy. :)

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