so yeah i haven't updated in a while. its gonna be a while after this one too. not too much been happenin. i've been pretty much just working and goin to school lately. met a couple girls, or re-met them i should say. so i guess thats neat. i did heroin the other day, it was intense. i was all worried about having to stick the needle in, but ( Read more... )

i wish i couldn't feel...

QUIT!!
smoking ciggarettes
eating at night
drinking(soda and alcohol, only water from now on)
thinking

START!!
running every day
sleeping normaly
understanding who i am, or, who i am trying to become.

i've noticed, that ever since i've started this lj,(aside from a few times) i've found more and more ways to feel depressed and fucked up. and it sucks. i know you probably think that is a bad thing, and it isn't good by any means, but it does help me think about how badly i really want to work for change. change with who i am, how i look, and ( Read more... )

dammit. i've got issues, and i'm not talking about magazines, or zines. there is so much shit that i want to say sometimes. I never will though. all the shit i want to say are things that you can never say. its things you think about to make your situation better. its been happening. right now i have this feeling like i'm about to cave in on ( Read more... )

ok, so i think i've figured it out. my problem with girls(aside that i'm only 5'4) i can talk to girls, thats not a problem. i'm just fucking clueless as to what i do after that. yep, i'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me. if you want to offer me advice that'd be cool, i guess. i'm not really looking for advice with this post, i'm just ( Read more... )

i reallly don't kmow how i got tothis paret if m lj ( Read more... )

i keep having these feelings of regret that i can't contain...if time is money, then money is all we have time for...but if time is life then maybe were having the time of our lives.....just a thought.

"he goes to the desert n' buys a rifle in the sky and says GOD IF I HAVE TO DIE THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO DIE"

i wish i could meet some one...

i'm frustrated....