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The camper romances the jungle brat
After ruining my sincere gentle admission
I took my hand away from his chest
and curled it next to where
all the words stem
He turned away from me then and said things
like "I don't know why" and so forth
my hmms and huhs settled doubtfully
in the space and he heard it
He was quite I was mad
the moment seemed ruined
by the ( Read more... ) -
takes a little getting used to
On the way to my internship a woman took a drive by pictures of me.
I want it to be a good omen.
On the way home I saw a dead baby bird.
I don't want that to be an omen at all.
(I want that internship)
I want back the weekend. I want that strange but familiar feeling. The way he kisses all that space between my jaw and shoulder. I want all his looks ( Read more... ) -
I choose not to sleep with anyone else
A conversation quickly cleared that up. -
I am not Faye Dunaway and who are you to test me, not Steve McQueen for sure!
I sat last night, candles, margaritas, weed, food and wine across from him and his cheery smile, good naturedly telling me things he believes in. Chatting at first just enjoying the swap of ideas and history. It starts out with food. His Grandfather owns a traditional Italian Christmas cake factory. He smiles, I laugh and then something odd happens ( Read more... ) -
It's raining I cannot sleep It is raining I can not sleep -- I do not mind
The night is outside and it is loud...
I've given up on the promise of dreaming
my bed sheets are so dirty
with sweat and sex sweat and bodily fluids
it makes my skin feel ( Read more... ) -
Events run backwards / I remember but how I remember
I dissociated on him.
He filled my hunger for his sex
and then we went to eat
and from the space between my bed and the hub I fell ill.
The kind of ill I remember from years ago. The kind that makes me woozy and light headed. The type that comes with nausea and the feeling of sickly green insides. I tried to stay lucid. I told him about it, the ( Read more... ) -
I was waiting for Peter...
I am no longer a teenager
I am now twenty
I wouldn't mind if more responsibility
didn't come with it
ugghhhhh
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what does this all mean?
I dreamt this morning that I was in a class of some sort. A class for witchery maybe. The rooms where all white there seemed to be no shadow to show where the corners and openings where. Some students had finished their work load. It felt like kindergarden again, and I wasn't done with my questionnaire. Something had distracted me, and when I came ( Read more... ) -
water logged chest
had a hard time of it yesterday. These mood moments are awful and happen more frequently now. I did a bad thing yes, juvenile but work had to be done and I couldn't concentrate. Doesn't matter it's been done.
I had such wild dreams this morning. So vivid and colorful, I woke up three times sweating profusely it was sort of horrifying. I lifted up ( Read more... ) -
pragmatic frantic keeping it bellow sea level
I should be working. I should be I'm so frazzled frazzled frazzled frazzled. I want to reach out. I want a cigarette. forgot them at Al's yesterday. I should be working. Instead I'm looking for more secrets and re-reading my fathers suicide letter. I'm going to write it here because maybe one day it will be lost. I don't know why I hold on to it. ( Read more... )