this is harder than i ever thought it would be...i never expected it to be easy, but i didn't expect to be on such an emotional rollercoaster...i've never had so many ups and downs in such a short period of time...i laugh one minute cuz of something i see on tv and then the next i'm crying...i don't know what my problem is but i want this to stop ( Read more... )

tonight is bad...i just don't know how long i can take it...i have a horrible feeling in my stomach and i don't like it...i just don't know how long i can do this...tonight is a very bad night and i'm in a very depressed mood...i just can't take this...

i have good days and i have bad days...i should say i hae good moments and i have bad moments...part of me is telling me to do one thing while the other part is saying a different thing an then a third part tells me yet another thing...it's hard to determine what part to listen to...do i listen to my heart, my gut, or my brain/common sense?...each ( Read more... )

well things seem to be a little better now at least from what i can tell...i'm still an asshole but i've been forgiven which wasn't necessary because i shouldn't have acted the way i did but i appreciate it never the less...i need to relax and just let this thing play itself out because if i don't i know i'll end up making myself sick, and i really ( Read more... )

it's official...i'm an idiot, asshole, stupid piece of shit who doesn't deserve happiness because everytime something seems to be heading in the right direction, i ruin it...i did the most aweful thing tonight and i regret it 100%...i can't even imagine what i just ruined...i just can't...

the feelings stay the same but there's no-one there to accept them...the feelings i have after being together for so long can't describe how i feel now that we are apart...everyone tells me this is for the best and that in the end everything will work out and be perfect, but to me everything was perfect...my gut tells me to just relax and ( Read more... )

well we will see how these next few weeks/months go...i don't now what's going to happen in th end and i don't know how long it will take...all i know is the unknown is what scares me...i don't know how i'll hold up and i'm not sure how i will take it...all i know is time is the only thing that will help...all i can say is i hope time goes by fast ( Read more... )

SHE IS ( Read more... )

i'm happy again...i'm finally feeling like my old self...it's a good thing

My life is a living hell...i can't sleep cuz my room is so hot (87 right now, earlier it was 89)...i can't stand to live in my house anymore and everyone in my family is driving me nuts...it puts me in bad moods and i think that's why i havn't been myself lately, sorry to anyone i've been a bitch to especially kira...and the only thing i have going ( Read more... )