So since I have not put anything in here in forever, I would like to mention that my husband I wrote so badly about finally left me for another woman!  It has been the hardest experience in my life, devastating, sad, painful, AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!  It was good for me to go back through some entries and see what a jerk he was, it was horrible.  To think ( Read more... )

Sunday night and I feel like my weekend was a blur.  Friday I had an "emergency" appt. with Dr. Thakur because I hate feeling so angry all the time.  She ordered blood work and EKG so she can put me on Lithium to help with the rage.  I think I am about to give up!  I want to give up because all I am in mad or exhausted.
Jim pushes my buttons on a ( Read more... )

Debates are on, I am not a major political person, but I must say I think we are screwed either way.  This is the first time I have not wanted to vote at all!!!  AHHH ( Read more... )

Up and down, up and down, that is about how I feel most of the time!  I think my little "Bipolar II" has turned into Bipolar.  I don't have manic episodes, but I am either in a really good mood or really mad.  GEESH!  It is so frustrating!  Last night I took my Seroquel at nine and I couldn't even fall asleep until 11:45.  What the heck ( Read more... )

So Mandi and I leave and go around the outskirts of town to look for cans.  Jim calls and accuses me of smoking pot.  He says, what are you doing smoking dope.  We get home and he accuses me again and tells me that I just don't take off.  I should have told him where I was going because were married.  WTF?????
He leaves all the f'ing time to go up ( Read more... )

Yeah!  Finally the first night I haven't cried over what Petr did to our family!  I do not know if I can ever forgive him, but I know I feel better tonight then I have ( Read more... )

So my husband kindly rents three movies yesterday for us to watch and "snuggle" to.  So The Good Shepherd is the movie that none of us have seen so we pick to watch it tonight!  IT SUCKS!  I don't even know what it is about nor do I even know what the dang CIA is.  Guess I'm stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is Tuesday night, debates are on, my house is clean, kids are in bed, and I am working on relaxing.  Can you believe it is such a hard thing for me to do???  Relax!  I thought of Petr a lot today, I am not sure I will ever not think of him!  I cannot believe I feel so sad, even after how bad he treated us!  I want to send him an email and tell ( Read more... )

I am still heart broken over losing our exchange student.  Of course part of me is still mad and I will probably be bitter for a long time.  Another part of me wishes I could see him hurting, but I shouldn't want that ( Read more... )

My psychiatrist now has diagnosed me with, in addition to Bipolar II, severe anxiety.  Well, hot dog!  It really doesn't bother me that bad, but I do not like the fact that every year or so I get worse and not better.  Guess I will just take what life throws at me and do the best I can with it.  Really that is the only attitude to have in life ( Read more... )