Reflecting

[trueamethyst]

I've been wondering about the trials of life and how/when we face them. Everything recently seems to want to push me to a place I've not been for years. I used to be strong and confident in myself. I used to know what I wanted from my life and how to get there. I feel myself faltering

Comments

[kint]

I have to come back to read this later, but I will. For now I wanted to leave a little *snugs* at least

[trueamethyst]

*snugs* Thanks, T :)

[nexrad]

What may be worthwhile is to find a quiet, soothing place to be still for awhile and then try to sort out exactly what it is you want - and why. Desiring appreciation and a sense of importance is not uncommon, but why is it you feel the desire and need for such?

From my own life experience, anything that comes from others is fleeting and fickle.

As for child's wishes - I've always found myself just going for whatever life dreams I've wanted. The journey towards those has often been very indirect, challenging, and long. This is where motivation and persistence pay off. Then, you need to believe in yourself to achieve. Perhaps instead of looking to others, you should look within? Once one has found security within himself, he will have secured his place in the world.

May you be well.

[trueamethyst]

Thanks for the kind thoughts :) I appreciate it. And I'm fine. I was just reflecting on things and writing down my musings. I've been trying to be someone else for a while, and I finally just decide that that was stupid. I need to be who I am and who I want to be, even if it's not by popular opinion the correct way to be.

Basically, it's been hard moving and trying to reallocate to a new culture. But I realized that I don't have to.

[pardouncia]

What culture are you speaking of? I realize I'm coming out of nowhere, but I know Jay, and I saw your comment in his LJ. So I ventured on over here. I can relate to a lot of what you've said in this entry, and I'm curious how you've coped.

[trueamethyst]

It's no problem. I'm pretty friendly :) And the culture I was referencing was an accumulation of things. I had just recently moved from a college town where I spent 7 years working on my BA and MS and living alone and independently to staying with my dad, jobless, and not knowing what to do with myself.

Though I think a lot of it has to do with "gay culture" that I was trying to cut myself to fit into, physically and ethically.

As per coping, I don't know. I've adjusted to life out here and have regained my previous strength of character. Die hard, never-give-in determination is a rather useful trait, so I can often bat away depression with ferocity unless I'm feeling particularly down on my luck. lol. Just have to remember what you live for.