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Last year I constructed a pair of trellises, strategically placed to prevent my roommate from making eye contact with the Filipino neighbor when she goes outside to consume whiskey and cigarettes - thereby preventing them both from having psychotic screaming episodes which degenerate into a racist tirade about being an immigrant "slant-eyes" who ( Read more... )

Congratulations on your 'MURRICAN citizenship. Here is your complimentary firearm and your FREEDOM SNAKE and a list of subjects to have little understanding of but intensely combative feelings about.


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So yeah, I went and bought a gun.


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So, a loooong time ago when I was a kid (back when Waldenbooks was still a company in the local mall) I read a couple of colorful Halloween pop-up books (although they only actually popped-up on the final page). And it's such a small thing, but it's driving me crazy trying to find any reference to their existence on the internet. I'm sure they're ( Read more... )

I'm playing an excessively friendly tiefling bard in Pathfinder. And one of the things she does is sing lullabies to the party to help them drift off to sleep in the wilderness. So here's a collection of fun-filled rhymes and alliterations to share with the kids ( Read more... )

Well... after 10 years of lizardness, tomorrow I'll be giving my uromastyx away. I never have time to pay enough attention to him anymore, and facing an uncertain future and very uncertain living situation keeping an animal with particular environmental needs is problematic and limits my options. And while I'd still rather keep him all the same, I ( Read more... )

So, I dreamt I was in a franchise of Freddy Fazbear's Pizza (because that's what I was doing on YouTube just before falling asleep). And I was carrying a cheap, pastel-colored revolver on me because I was expecting to get murdered, buuuut it was daytime so I mostly just passed the time eating pizza and helping deformed, squealing, limbless children ( Read more... )

So, I dreamt there was a tribe of rabbits a la Watership Down. And Easter Sunday was a really dark time for them because they lived in a place where rabbits were habitually trapped and hunted. Every year one of them was chosen to sacrifice themselves by distributing eggs and candy to the humans who would inevitably kill them. They had based this ( Read more... )

So, I dreamt that I was fending off the Horsemen of the Apocalypse and their minions trying to break into my childhood house. Famine (some sort of scarecrow) was kind of a pushover, easily defeated by flailing a butcher knife from the kitchen - which quickly becomes my go-to response to everything. Pestilence proved to be a greater problem... he ( Read more... )