As I'm sure you know, I've been an atheist a long time. Raised Southern Baptist mostly, I was baptised at 12 and was very dedicated to going to church for several years. I was active in the youth group and a firm believer. When I was an older teenager, I got angry with God and in a "Screw You!" moment, decided that if God had abandoned me, I woudn't believe in him. So there! That'd show him! As the years passed, though, I realized that I tryly didn't believe in a god or in fact, anything supernatural/magical/requiring faith. Logically, I couldn't justify it. But I was okay with this; it didn't bother me
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Some of this is known to me, and some of it, particularly the breadth of your recent interests, was not. Thank you for sharing it all here.
You might (or might not) enjoy the first few books of the Left Behind series. I recommend strongly against reading past, say, the first 7 of 14. They really get much, much worse as they progress
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What a lovely, sincere description of your journey thus far. Thank you very much for that! And so interesting to me since you and I have met at the occassional rest stop along this road to chat through the years
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Despite my mother's atheism and my father's intense privacy about his spiritual beliefs, I have always been convinced there was something more in the world than I could see. I don't follow any of the big religions, though, because to me (and only to me - I don't mean this as insulting to those who do so believe) worshipping the Old Man In The Sky is too much like D&D; it's projecting ourselves onto the world rather than opening our eyes and letting the world into us. I believe in a divinity that rests in everything impartially, and while it might not be as comforting, it feels more right to me.
But then I also think there's room enough in the world for an awful lot of things, whether I believe in them or not.
Very interesting - So, if I may ask for more detail, your father is private about his spirituality meaning he won't discuss it with you? I find this notion in itself fascinating. Certainly very different from the experience of the many who get more religious when they have children.
Is spirtuality of concern to you in general? Do you pursue any spiritual connection or exploration in your life? Or do you view it more as an element in the world -- it's out there, you're over here, and both part of the natural order?
Thank you for sharing this piece of yourself with me!
Trace - I grew up very Catholic. I went through Catholic school, the uniforms, the whole nine yards. So “religion” or “organized religion” has always been part of my life in one form or fashion. After high school I became rather jaded by the whole religion idea and walked away from church. Yet, I never stopped believing in God. Religion is very private to me. I understand that some people feel the need to witness but my relationship with God has always been rather personal and private. God wasn’t a priority for me in my 20’s; he was sort of like an old coat. I would take him out of the closet now and again and then tuck him back safely away until the next time it was convenient for me to call on him again. Then at 29, my nonni (Italian grandmother) got sick and died
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Wow, what an amazing journey you're on! And how lucky are you to be aware of the scenery and the effect on you. Thank you so much for sharing this with me, particularly since you prefer to keep these explorations private.
Going forward, do you think you will make your faith more a part of your daily life? Perhaps through participation in organized faith, or regular prayers? Where do you think you'll take this now?
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You might (or might not) enjoy the first few books of the Left Behind series. I recommend strongly against reading past, say, the first 7 of 14. They really get much, much worse as they progress ( ... )
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http://tashewolf.livejournal.com/66823.html
(am breaking down and sorting some of these posts where I'll be able to ever find em again.)
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T.
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But then I also think there's room enough in the world for an awful lot of things, whether I believe in them or not.
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Is spirtuality of concern to you in general? Do you pursue any spiritual connection or exploration in your life? Or do you view it more as an element in the world -- it's out there, you're over here, and both part of the natural order?
Thank you for sharing this piece of yourself with me!
T.
Reply
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Going forward, do you think you will make your faith more a part of your daily life? Perhaps through participation in organized faith, or regular prayers? Where do you think you'll take this now?
Thank you so much, dear friend,
T.
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