I'm having a little meltdown here, the Myspace boy replied and said it wasn't him I met at the gig. I had all my hopes pinned on that guy but what this means is that I've lost my beautiful man forever and will now have to move on with life.

At least that's cleared up :(

Ok so it's officially over. It was only kinda over until I realised it's been 11 days and that's just ridiculous. Today was my final straw. I messaged his mate. I felt a bit weird doing that but I was so bored waiting around for nothing to happen I decided to take fate into my own hands. I mean, in real life if you really want something you have to ( Read more... )

Uni.. blah it's boring. I've had nothing to do all term and have been very bored. Then all of a sudden this work creeps up on me and I'm going mad trying to get it done. We all are ( Read more... )

just got the weirdest phonecall... no idea who from. i do'nt like this. i think i'll start using my old sim card again soon. and not tell anyone! but even weirder, jay's msn name is 'for i am xander king of cretins', dude - i watched that episode this morning! i am so freaked right now... how did she know this? how??? !! talked to dean on msn, we ( Read more... )

again it went better than i thought it would go. i started work so i was rushed off my feet, no time to sit and brood and crave eevil drugs. jay was proud of me for quitting, we had a picnic in the castle gardens for kate's birthday, everyone was there, like abs and the twins and nicole... and jay's little brother stephen, he was so cute! it was ( Read more... )

it went ok today, better than i thought. it'll probably be harder tomorrow though, i'll probably start getting withdrawals and feel like shit. i thought about smoking a joint, like, once today which i saw as a good sign. but saying all this i spent a lot of time asleep getting over the weekend! i didn't even say bye to lousia properly! i did think ( Read more... )

just got back from the party last night, all of which i shall be telling my real diary about, but i had a moment/entire evening of revelations ( Read more... )

last night, what a mess. i have found that mixing absinthe, wine, vodka, southern comfort and snakebite is not a good idea. i don't think i have ever walked home alone that drunk before. steve texted me to say he'd walk me home, but i forgot that until this morning when i found the message. i was still drunk ( Read more... )

i'm going to bed. it kinda sucks to have no one there. just no one at all. i might just hide away tomorrow, i don't wanna be found. i want to end my pain, i want it to stop now, right now.

i'm not even surprised. i think i'm actually surprised by that.

so if i get burned i guess the easiest thing to do is forget about the person who burnt me? easier said than done but i need some level of sanity or happiness here, and i think that's the only way i can achieve it. i'm gonna start over.