[100 SUPER JUNIOR FICS CHALLENGE] 2/100 COMPLETED
001. FREEFALL, EETEUK/KANGIN
rated pg13/r for one use of the f-bomb (and profanity in general) and angst.
→ WORD COUNT: 1037
(written 12/17/2007) part one/two:
this is not something he is used to.
kang in's footsteps as he departs ee teuk's bedroom are soft, as though he is walking on thin ice that is capable of breaking at any moment. the numbness pouring over his entire body is enough to send tears down his flushed cheeks, which he ignores because he doesn't even notice. the heart pounding in his chest sends a dull vibration up into his ears and kang in tries to swallow it back down but is not successful whatsoever, not this time.
he makes it halfway down the hall before hitting his fist against the wall, as though that will help push himself along, make him keep walking away, make this easier. there were too many complications and too many heartbreaks and too many times ee teuk looked at him with those big, sad eyes because he didn't understand. kang in had abused the "i don't know" factor too much, but he really didn't know.
he didn't know why he got so jealous, why he got so angry, why he was so cocky, why he was so dramatic, why he liked to drink, why he chose to stop drinking but then started drinking again anyway, why he kept touching ee teuk with his damaged hands when he knew ee teuk was too good for him, why he kept insisting that he loved ee teuk when really... he didn't know and why he promised he would never hurt ee teuk when in fact... he did. too many times.
kang in hears another set of footsteps approaching nearby and he quickly moves into his room, slamming the door shut and locking it. nobody can see this, nobody can know about this, nobody can ever find out how much kang in had fallen in love with the boy down the hall and nobody can ever find out how much kang in had fucked up.
he stands awkwardly in the middle of his room for a moment, warm hands grabbing ahold of the top of his head, hair shaved but gradually growing back. his eyes shut and more tears flood out, body trembling because it knows ee teuk will never be near it again, not the way it was before. it will never be touched or loved or cared for the way it was before, it will never find that again. kang in slowly sits on the edge of his bed to see if that'll stop the freefall, plummeting into the pit of nausea and darkness, being alone.
it doesn't. everything has changed.
this is not something he is used to.
=========================
please read glonk's " freefall" now! then come back and read part two.
=========================
(written 12/19/2007) part two/two:
ee teuk sits him down and tells him things, pats his arm, forces forward the happiness. kang in feels the emotional bullet pass through his intestines, the ones he'd had trouble with not so long ago. he can't stand it when ee teuk does this.
it makes kang in want to break a window, a lamp, rip up a couch pillow or disappear into nothingness. any or all of the above.
ee teuk is perfect. he's everything kang in wants, needs, dreams about. there is not one bad bone in ee teuk's body. the angel.
kang in is far from being any angel, or any angel's soulmate. he's selfish, conceited, a miserable bastard. his heart and his mind go left to right without any notice at all and he doesn't know why he makes promises only to break them somehow. seven days without ee teuk in bed beside him is something kang in cannot grasp, even though it has already passed; it feels like some alternate reality, a brain trip that he will shortly return from at any given point. everything will be the same as it was before, waking up to ee teuk's body wrapped warmly in kang in's blankets as he sleeps so sound.
kang in remembers watching ee teuk sleep, running a hand over his cheek and swearing to himself that he would never break his heart or let anyone else do it, either. don't mess it up. stand upright, don't meddle, say the right things and always make him smile. teuk's skin is so soft, almost too soft; skin a boy probably shouldn't have. this was okay, they both knew teuk was a girl, anyway. rather, a boy chun sa. kang in remembers thinking this as he watches ee teuk sleep, and he smiles to himself as he watches, the rings on both of their fingers visible in the dim moonlight etched over their blankets and pillows.
ee teuk would say that he accepted kang in for who he was, that he liked him the way he was and he shouldn't change for anything. kang in couldn't say it at the time, at least not that he could remember, but he didn't believe that he could just be himself and keep ee teuk as his own at the same time. there was no logical reasoning behind this, it didn't make sense, because nobody could fall in love with kang in. he knew this. why did an angel have to interfere? why did he have to think he was in love?
"i miss you," the words lay heavy on kang in's tongue, just behind his teeth. several times throughout the week, they almost slip out as he takes a drink of water or passes by ee teuk's room or hears ee teuk speaking gently in another room to one of the other members. kang in looks down the hall only to see shin dong exit moments later, his face a little crestfallen. he might as well have the words written on his face: "oh, what trouble these two cause me. oh, what trouble."
"i miss you," kang in closes his eyes so he can't see his ring resting on his nightstand, the words flowing through his head. "i miss you, i miss you, i miss you."
"i miss you but this is how it has to be. you'll be happy if you stay far away from me. i can't tell you how much it hurts, teuk. it's so cold now, it's always so cold, i can't seem to get warm. i'm missing, my body is going through the motions without me but you know i can't live without you."
"but i'm going to have to."
ARCHIVE: http://toonpatrol.livejournal.com/593.html
rated pg13/r for one use of the f-bomb (and profanity in general) and angst.
→ WORD COUNT: 1037
(written 12/17/2007) part one/two:
this is not something he is used to.
kang in's footsteps as he departs ee teuk's bedroom are soft, as though he is walking on thin ice that is capable of breaking at any moment. the numbness pouring over his entire body is enough to send tears down his flushed cheeks, which he ignores because he doesn't even notice. the heart pounding in his chest sends a dull vibration up into his ears and kang in tries to swallow it back down but is not successful whatsoever, not this time.
he makes it halfway down the hall before hitting his fist against the wall, as though that will help push himself along, make him keep walking away, make this easier. there were too many complications and too many heartbreaks and too many times ee teuk looked at him with those big, sad eyes because he didn't understand. kang in had abused the "i don't know" factor too much, but he really didn't know.
he didn't know why he got so jealous, why he got so angry, why he was so cocky, why he was so dramatic, why he liked to drink, why he chose to stop drinking but then started drinking again anyway, why he kept touching ee teuk with his damaged hands when he knew ee teuk was too good for him, why he kept insisting that he loved ee teuk when really... he didn't know and why he promised he would never hurt ee teuk when in fact... he did. too many times.
kang in hears another set of footsteps approaching nearby and he quickly moves into his room, slamming the door shut and locking it. nobody can see this, nobody can know about this, nobody can ever find out how much kang in had fallen in love with the boy down the hall and nobody can ever find out how much kang in had fucked up.
he stands awkwardly in the middle of his room for a moment, warm hands grabbing ahold of the top of his head, hair shaved but gradually growing back. his eyes shut and more tears flood out, body trembling because it knows ee teuk will never be near it again, not the way it was before. it will never be touched or loved or cared for the way it was before, it will never find that again. kang in slowly sits on the edge of his bed to see if that'll stop the freefall, plummeting into the pit of nausea and darkness, being alone.
it doesn't. everything has changed.
this is not something he is used to.
=========================
please read glonk's " freefall" now! then come back and read part two.
=========================
(written 12/19/2007) part two/two:
ee teuk sits him down and tells him things, pats his arm, forces forward the happiness. kang in feels the emotional bullet pass through his intestines, the ones he'd had trouble with not so long ago. he can't stand it when ee teuk does this.
it makes kang in want to break a window, a lamp, rip up a couch pillow or disappear into nothingness. any or all of the above.
ee teuk is perfect. he's everything kang in wants, needs, dreams about. there is not one bad bone in ee teuk's body. the angel.
kang in is far from being any angel, or any angel's soulmate. he's selfish, conceited, a miserable bastard. his heart and his mind go left to right without any notice at all and he doesn't know why he makes promises only to break them somehow. seven days without ee teuk in bed beside him is something kang in cannot grasp, even though it has already passed; it feels like some alternate reality, a brain trip that he will shortly return from at any given point. everything will be the same as it was before, waking up to ee teuk's body wrapped warmly in kang in's blankets as he sleeps so sound.
kang in remembers watching ee teuk sleep, running a hand over his cheek and swearing to himself that he would never break his heart or let anyone else do it, either. don't mess it up. stand upright, don't meddle, say the right things and always make him smile. teuk's skin is so soft, almost too soft; skin a boy probably shouldn't have. this was okay, they both knew teuk was a girl, anyway. rather, a boy chun sa. kang in remembers thinking this as he watches ee teuk sleep, and he smiles to himself as he watches, the rings on both of their fingers visible in the dim moonlight etched over their blankets and pillows.
ee teuk would say that he accepted kang in for who he was, that he liked him the way he was and he shouldn't change for anything. kang in couldn't say it at the time, at least not that he could remember, but he didn't believe that he could just be himself and keep ee teuk as his own at the same time. there was no logical reasoning behind this, it didn't make sense, because nobody could fall in love with kang in. he knew this. why did an angel have to interfere? why did he have to think he was in love?
"i miss you," the words lay heavy on kang in's tongue, just behind his teeth. several times throughout the week, they almost slip out as he takes a drink of water or passes by ee teuk's room or hears ee teuk speaking gently in another room to one of the other members. kang in looks down the hall only to see shin dong exit moments later, his face a little crestfallen. he might as well have the words written on his face: "oh, what trouble these two cause me. oh, what trouble."
"i miss you," kang in closes his eyes so he can't see his ring resting on his nightstand, the words flowing through his head. "i miss you, i miss you, i miss you."
"i miss you but this is how it has to be. you'll be happy if you stay far away from me. i can't tell you how much it hurts, teuk. it's so cold now, it's always so cold, i can't seem to get warm. i'm missing, my body is going through the motions without me but you know i can't live without you."
"but i'm going to have to."
ARCHIVE: http://toonpatrol.livejournal.com/593.html