well after my last post, so much has happened. this year has actually turned out not good at all. but :) i survivin ( Read more... )

so stressed. things have turned into i dont even know. jay found me and we started talking again. but we still have had some not so positive runins. i have alot to learn again about him i feel. hes not the same. we have alot to learn about each other. being around him i realized how much i actually missed him but its more then hard it seems this ( Read more... )

well for a few weeks now i have been doing the late night things. i sleep all hours or the day sn when family sleeps im cant help but be wide awake. i have tried to chance it but it hasnt worked, but i think i am breaking the habit. hell at least i am sleeping, i have had more days and nights not sleeping at all, so whatever i get i am greatful for ( Read more... )

i just finished getting all this wireless stuff fixed up in my room. and well it's not working all that well, but it is enough for now. im working on getting a job still. i dont know exactly what i wanna do, i know love to work at the Japan Soceity on something, so i could learn and get paid and teach others at the same time.but i really dont know ( Read more... )

im working on getting a job.i am trying to help my friend too. i hope i can find him something. i know he wants to work at webster hall, so hopfully i can get something going for him. also lucky for me a friend of mine out of the blue is getting me an x-mas gift, im sad though cause i dont have and cash to get anything for anyone. and well i dont ( Read more... )

i am home sick, kold and tired. i havent slept yet for 2 days. i went through some of my stuff, and i was thinking to get rid of cause i really dont need the reminders. lots of pics of and with my ex. and it made me sick i threw up. i threw up cause part hurt and part angry. still till now i feel nausious. i remember meeting the first time, and ( Read more... )

it's after 12 in the morning, i am watching tv, listening to trance net radio, and just checking out my site, trying to catch up with peopl. i got up late again tonight. i really fell like crap cause i sleep all day and only up at night, only cause i am too cold to sleep now. no matter how tired i just wont sleep. which any sleep is better then no ( Read more... )

im just getting up, i sleep tomuch these days, but i guess thats expected. i need to get out of here. so i begin the journal and journey of getting shit straight...... so much to do.

i have been up for a lil, and i am tring to figure out what to do with myself. i need to get away. but i am not running away, i just need a break. everyone eles gets one why dont i? i have been home sick for a bit. inflamation in the chest, making it hard to breath, panic attacks, pains in the chest,i feel down, empty, very alone, more then ususal ( Read more... )