(Untitled)

[toadbreath]

Personally, I don't see why everyone's up in arms about a fucking cat. Are you shitting me? I accidentally ate my neighbor's five-month-old kid for breakfast and nobody shat themselves, so let's take a cue from Mr. and Mrs. Gomez and move the fuck on with our lives

Comments

[treif]

[toadbreath]

Probably not. You know what kind of hypocritical douchebags these people are.

I had this chick over. Offered me half-price if I let her see who won Best Picture. Not bad, am I right? Only she wouldn't shut the fuck up about movies or some shit, like I give a fuck.

[treif]

[toadbreath]

Lucky for you I keep a dozen around my apartment just in case.

That she did. Apparently a blowjob without any fucking frills is too much to as k for.

[hatesbears]

I'll have an Oscar-worthy wardrobe malfunction for you ANYDAY, cuppycake.

[toadbreath]

Oh yeah? That's what I like to hear, provided you can shut up long enough to let me admire the goods.

[hatesbears]

All depends on how fucking open your wallet is.

[toadbreath]

My wallet's as open as your legs, sweetheart.

[weekafternext]

[toadbreath]

You're literate? Well, slap my ass and call me Sally.

[weekafternext]

[toadbreath]

Ah, sorry. Maybe I'd pay more attention if you wore a nice low-cut top. Show off a little bit. Your male patients will thank you. I will thank you for giving me something to do when you're blah blah blahing about some shit.

[strucktwelve]

I'm sure they saw the absence of darling Junior from the breakfast table as a favour. I know I would.

[toadbreath]

Yeah, well, I had to do something to get the guy's mind off the fact that I fucked his wife.

[strucktwelve]

An effective diversionary tactic! What happened next in this fascinating series of events?