(Untitled)

[toadbreath]

Personally, I don't see why everyone's up in arms about a fucking cat. Are you shitting me? I accidentally ate my neighbor's five-month-old kid for breakfast and nobody shat themselves, so let's take a cue from Mr. and Mrs. Gomez and move the fuck on with our lives

Comments

[treif]

I can't help but wonder if it had been some fucking ugly animal, if people wouldn't be shitting themselves about it?

Why the hell are you watching the Oscars anyway, asshole? You could've been doing more important things. Like scoping pussy with me.

[toadbreath]

Probably not. You know what kind of hypocritical douchebags these people are.

I had this chick over. Offered me half-price if I let her see who won Best Picture. Not bad, am I right? Only she wouldn't shut the fuck up about movies or some shit, like I give a fuck.

[treif]

Goddamn if I don't. Maybe we should invest in some animal carcasses and experiment.

No shit? Bet she insisted on referring to it as "film" too. How fucking pretentious.

[toadbreath]

Lucky for you I keep a dozen around my apartment just in case.

That she did. Apparently a blowjob without any fucking frills is too much to as k for.

[treif]

Fuck. Are you serious? Can I take a couple off of your hands? I'll fucking pay for them and everything. Cash.

Nowadays you practically got to buy the damn whore a lobster dinner before she even thinks of going down on you. Shit.

[hatesbears]

Ansie would have shit a fucking brick if I'd killed Harrison, though.