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[tinywarrior]

I write this for Reive, not because our situations are so much alike, but because I want her to know that there is almost always a reward in moving forward even when you feel the urge to go back for something you left behind.

Walking Backwards In a SnowstormSurprisingly, I was the one who left. Fooled around on him even. Just a quick fuck with

Comments

[reive]

Thnx.

Right now, I feel a strange sense of relief. I don't have to craft the perfect thing to say to him, since my less edited thoughts were already forwarded to him. If he was listening, it gets the point acorss pretty bloody clearly.

[tinywarrior]

I have found in endings that there is never any perfect thing to say...and there is no shame in the scrapes and bruises we get disentangling ourselves from whatever it is that lingers in place of the connections we once had. I share this with you, not because I think you are weak, but because I know that you are strong. I have no doubt you will make your peace with it all in your own way and your own time.

you write so well

[tsarina]

I would hope that one day I will be able to reflect on things and learn from them with the same grace I see in your words.
Come the end of May, I think I will go forward and not look back.

The Benefits of Middle-Age

[tinywarrior]

That's the great thing about getting old. You can look back on points in your life where you were an absolute neurotic lunatic-in-a-bottle, but you get to sound all groovy cool and wise when you talk about it. Hehe! Seriously, though, little princess...if there were any regrets (although that's a stronger term than what I feel) I could point to in my past, it would be that I could never bring myself to say goodbye when I knew it was time. I clung to things even when I knew better. I think that may have cost me some very important "hellos" along the way. I have always found forward to be the only direction that really did me any good. : )

Re: The Benefits of Middle-Age

[raindog]

Cath, your story of W is unbearably, beautifully articulate. Your style becomes more magnificent with each piece you write. What a great gift.
As for squandered hello's, I would not want to begin counting...

Re: The Benefits of Middle-Age

[tinywarrior]

You know, after I wrote this I was thinking how long both our journies have been to get to this point. We are a couple of amazing chicks, aren't we? ; )

Thank you for that

[maya12]

It makes me think of all my attempts to recapture past experiences that were not conducive to my mental or emotional well being. In hindsight, I'm glad I failed in those attempts. But that does not negate the fact that there're still many things I have to let go of b/c of unhappiness and stagnation, mostly stagnation though.

I've decided that you can have custodial rights to Willem, so long as I get to see him every second weekend. I'm on a Ralph Fiennes fix right now.

Re: Thank you for that

[tinywarrior]

Ralph Fiennes...yummmmmmy! I'll step aside, though, since you called dibs. Or...maybe I could have him on the weekends that you have Willem? Whaddya say? : )

It's a deal

[maya12]

Draw up the contracts. I shall allow Ralph to be your English Patient.

appreciation

[jet]

that was so great. thanks for posting it.

like you, i think my most regretful mistakes have been related to not trusting that little voice inside me that says, "okay, time to get the hell out of here..." and instead second guessing that voice of reason and giving second and third and fifteenth chances, hoping things will somehow work themselves out the way i so desperately want (and think i need) them to.

i'm happy to say that i'm getting much better at trusting reason and listening to that voice, and things have gone phenomenally better since i allowed myself to do that.

anyway, thanks for the nice post. i nodded and emphathized and even grew nauseated at some of the things that reminded me of my similar experience.

xo

tues

Re: appreciation

[tinywarrior]

Ah, yes! The little voice. I kept mine gagged and bound with regard to affairs of the heart throughout most of my twenties. I was a big believer in the whole "love conquers all" theory. I still believe that, but in a much more broad sense...not in the same way that I used to. I guess it's the hopefulness of youth that gives us the stamina to endure all the hard knocks before we finally realize that love is not meant to be difficult. Or maybe it was just stupidity...I'm still trying to figure that one out. ; )

[chaizzilla]

wow. i know that wasn't even for me but thanks anyway. everybody deals with this shit i guess.

Re:

[tinywarrior]

What's really so amazing to me is that we all have dealt with this shit. In retrospect, it seems so completely unnecessary, doesn't it? The only plausible explanation I can come up with is that these "slings and arrows of outrageous romance" are growing pains everyone must endure so we can appreciate the good stuff when it comes our way.