I have a tiny 7 week-old dachshund baby curled up into a tiny circle dog on the floor in my office.

Right next to the spot where he peed on the rug.

Last night while shredding Parmesan cheese, I shredded one of the fingers on my right hand. As I stood there with my finger bleeding into the freshly-shredded cheese pile, two thoughts occurred to me ( Read more... )

Today on the way to work, a guy in a silver Jetta flipped me the bird on the highway after cutting me off. What's interesting is that I remained behind his car until he turned into my office building's parking lot. He was a big guy wearing a baseball cap, and when I entered the building, there he was, waiting for the elevator. He looked ( Read more... )

So it's freezing in my office, but I'm dressed for spring ( Read more... )

2 things I learned this weekend:

1) The U.S. government controls our weather and our minds using a giant satellite hidden in Alaska... or so I was told by the woman sitting next to me on an airplane this past Saturday. I immediately thought of heatray. She said she thought I looked like a "smart young lady" and that she could tell me things that would " ( Read more... )

My carrot sticks this morning are shockingly moist.

My hotel this time is not a hotel at all, but a 4 bedroom home in lovely Danville, CA. It smells like newly-refinished hardwood floors and tiny dogs. If only the weather were a little warmer...

Ok, I just pulled a dead rat1 out of my dog's mouth. It was completely flat, filthy, and wet, and he was gripping it like... a tightly-gripping thing.2 I just scrubbed my hands with antibacterial soap and brushed his teeth (with poultry-flavored toothpaste, no less), but I still feel very dirty.

This week just keeps getting better and better.

[ ( Read more... )

You know in those horror movies where there's a guy undergoing surgery of some kind, and he wakes up halfway through ( Read more... )

I've been travelling a lot lately, and it occurs to me that some of the places I've been going are places that Don't Suck, and some of you might be interested in reviews from someone you know (me) on places you might like to go (New York and San Francisco).

See the links below for semi-serious1 reviews on New York hotels. San Francisco reviews ( Read more... )