New York hotels
I've been travelling a lot lately, and it occurs to me that some of the places I've been going are places that Don't Suck, and some of you might be interested in reviews from someone you know (me) on places you might like to go (New York and San Francisco).
See the links below for semi-serious1 reviews on New York hotels. San Francisco reviews to follow on another day when I'm bored at work.
Hotel Metro -- Canadian marijuana.
45 W. 35th (between 5th and 6th), New York, NY
This is the hotel with the grandmothers'-perfume-smelling room and smoked-meat-smelling lobby. If you can get past the strangely creepy leaping-deer-and-horses bedspread and the somewhat tacky veneered furniture, it's not a bad hotel. Nothing's broken, it's clean, within walking distance of Penn Station (I came via Amtrak), and there's free wireless Internet access. The room is small but not cramped. The gentleman at the front desk, "Frank," was very polite. He also sounded very stereotypically New York Italian (as in, Eye-talian) and he complimented my hair cut. I had to stifle giggles when it occurred to me that I was unsure whether his large ring had either a marijuana leaf or a maple leaf on it -- I didn't get a good look. This is all rrelevant to the hotel review, of course, but this is my fucking journal. The bed was slightly uncomfy and the guestroom doors slam impossibly loudly when shut (which is fun for light sleepers in adjacent rooms). All together, not a bad hotel.
Price: $148/night (~$175 w/taxes and fees)
Grand Hyatt -- No gilded dildos. Donald Trump can suck it.
Park Ave. at Grand Central Station, New York NY
Hotel is attached to Grand Central Station, so the location is excellent, and the room was fairly large with a nice bath. In my opinion, however, for $800/night there should be complimentary blowjobs and free gilded dildos, not just nice bathrooms. A problem with our room phone took 6 hours to rectify (resulting in 1 day of lost work productivity). No highspeed Internet access in rooms (but available for $3-5/minute in Business Center -- are you kidding me?!). Fire alarm went off at 2 a.m. -- we were staying on the 14th floor and found that the stairs take you down to the 10th floor, where apparently you're supposed to stand on a roof deck thing and contemplate your fiery demise while waiting for rescue helicopters or something -- seriously terrifying. My guess is that the $8 million in renovation money went to the giant lobby with its absurd multi-story stone waterfall. Donald, you're so fired. No wonder you're fucking bankrupt.
Price: $150/night (plus taxes and fees), courtesy of Priceline.com; full price is $480-800.
Sheraton Russell -- Housekeeping staff likes to watch.
45 Park Ave. at 37th
This is my favorite New York city hotel, right up the street from Grand Central station. The room was small but adequate, and decorated in a Victorian style that was actually well done and not tacky. Split bath (all marble). Respond loudly to housekeeping staff when they knock on your door, or be sure to use the double locks, else they may catch you in a compromising position. I'm just saying it's possible. Not speaking from experience on this one or anything. Really. Not sure about Internet access here, as we didn't attempt to use it. Forgot to tip the housekeeping staff but they got a free show, so I don't feel too badly about it.
Price: $150/night (plus taxes and fees), courtesy of Hotwire.com; full price is closer to $300 or so.
Club Quarters Midtown -- How can curtains look like pants?
40 W. 45th, New York, NY
This hotel isn't bad, really -- decent location and attractive building (on city's Register of Historic Places). Automated check-in (like ticketing kiosks at the airport) minimizes forced niceties with hotel staff. The room itself, however, was extremely bizarre -- it was fairly big and comfortable, but the artwork had an unbearable abstract circus theme and the window treatments can only be described as resembling overly-starched pants. Pants that MC Hammer might have worn back in his day. Wireless internet access was free, but we couldn't get it to work (probably a function of my older laptop sucking and no fault of the network).
Price: ~$140 plus taxes and fees, courtesy of Hotwire.com; not sure of full price.
Hotel Utica -- Live birds!
102 Lafayette Street, Utica, NY
Hotel lobby is lovely, with giant crystal chandeliers, marble floors, and gilded everything, including a giant cage with a pair of chirpy lovebirds. The hotel first opened in 1912 and was closed in the 70s, but reopened a few years ago after $12 million in renovations. Again, as with the Grand Hyatt, it seems that most of the renovation money was spent on the lobby, as the guest rooms are adequate but not nearly as striking as the lobby. The restaurant is completely amazing (which was pleasantly surprising for Utica). No high-speed Internet access in rooms (2 computers available for free Internet access in "business center").
Price: ~$108/night including taxes and fees
Suites -- Bring the dog next time.
1379 Washington Ave., Albany, NY
Hotel is across the street from SUNY-Albany, so you'd think there would be something (anything?) happening nearby, but not much other than hotels, gas stations, and a mall. Each studio-apartment-style room has a full kitchen and a sitting area w/sofa, and is decent enough (in a generic Marriott-esque way). Free breakfast. Allows pets, so Hammy gets to come along next time I'm headed that way. Free wireless Internet that actually works.
Price: Around a hundred bucks.
Embassy Suites -- Peaches!
6646 Old Collamer Road, East Syracuse, NY
The hotel lobby was enormous, filled with live trees, and reeked of peaches. My "suite" was seriously larger than my apartment and fairly nice, although with fairly generic hotel-ish decor. Wireless access available at $9.95 per day, which is highway-fucking-robbery, in my opinion, but at least it was on my company's dime. Creepy men in the elevator talked about their "business trip" while carrying 2 cases of beer and raving joyously about the free cocktail tickets each guest receives at check-in. No, I will not join you in your room for an ice-cold Molson. Free full breakfast with made-to-order omelettes and such.
Price: ~$111/night including taxes and fees
[1] Emphasis on semi, or so it seems.
See the links below for semi-serious1 reviews on New York hotels. San Francisco reviews to follow on another day when I'm bored at work.
Hotel Metro -- Canadian marijuana.
45 W. 35th (between 5th and 6th), New York, NY
This is the hotel with the grandmothers'-perfume-smelling room and smoked-meat-smelling lobby. If you can get past the strangely creepy leaping-deer-and-horses bedspread and the somewhat tacky veneered furniture, it's not a bad hotel. Nothing's broken, it's clean, within walking distance of Penn Station (I came via Amtrak), and there's free wireless Internet access. The room is small but not cramped. The gentleman at the front desk, "Frank," was very polite. He also sounded very stereotypically New York Italian (as in, Eye-talian) and he complimented my hair cut. I had to stifle giggles when it occurred to me that I was unsure whether his large ring had either a marijuana leaf or a maple leaf on it -- I didn't get a good look. This is all rrelevant to the hotel review, of course, but this is my fucking journal. The bed was slightly uncomfy and the guestroom doors slam impossibly loudly when shut (which is fun for light sleepers in adjacent rooms). All together, not a bad hotel.
Price: $148/night (~$175 w/taxes and fees)
Grand Hyatt -- No gilded dildos. Donald Trump can suck it.
Park Ave. at Grand Central Station, New York NY
Hotel is attached to Grand Central Station, so the location is excellent, and the room was fairly large with a nice bath. In my opinion, however, for $800/night there should be complimentary blowjobs and free gilded dildos, not just nice bathrooms. A problem with our room phone took 6 hours to rectify (resulting in 1 day of lost work productivity). No highspeed Internet access in rooms (but available for $3-5/minute in Business Center -- are you kidding me?!). Fire alarm went off at 2 a.m. -- we were staying on the 14th floor and found that the stairs take you down to the 10th floor, where apparently you're supposed to stand on a roof deck thing and contemplate your fiery demise while waiting for rescue helicopters or something -- seriously terrifying. My guess is that the $8 million in renovation money went to the giant lobby with its absurd multi-story stone waterfall. Donald, you're so fired. No wonder you're fucking bankrupt.
Price: $150/night (plus taxes and fees), courtesy of Priceline.com; full price is $480-800.
Sheraton Russell -- Housekeeping staff likes to watch.
45 Park Ave. at 37th
This is my favorite New York city hotel, right up the street from Grand Central station. The room was small but adequate, and decorated in a Victorian style that was actually well done and not tacky. Split bath (all marble). Respond loudly to housekeeping staff when they knock on your door, or be sure to use the double locks, else they may catch you in a compromising position. I'm just saying it's possible. Not speaking from experience on this one or anything. Really. Not sure about Internet access here, as we didn't attempt to use it. Forgot to tip the housekeeping staff but they got a free show, so I don't feel too badly about it.
Price: $150/night (plus taxes and fees), courtesy of Hotwire.com; full price is closer to $300 or so.
Club Quarters Midtown -- How can curtains look like pants?
40 W. 45th, New York, NY
This hotel isn't bad, really -- decent location and attractive building (on city's Register of Historic Places). Automated check-in (like ticketing kiosks at the airport) minimizes forced niceties with hotel staff. The room itself, however, was extremely bizarre -- it was fairly big and comfortable, but the artwork had an unbearable abstract circus theme and the window treatments can only be described as resembling overly-starched pants. Pants that MC Hammer might have worn back in his day. Wireless internet access was free, but we couldn't get it to work (probably a function of my older laptop sucking and no fault of the network).
Price: ~$140 plus taxes and fees, courtesy of Hotwire.com; not sure of full price.
Hotel Utica -- Live birds!
102 Lafayette Street, Utica, NY
Hotel lobby is lovely, with giant crystal chandeliers, marble floors, and gilded everything, including a giant cage with a pair of chirpy lovebirds. The hotel first opened in 1912 and was closed in the 70s, but reopened a few years ago after $12 million in renovations. Again, as with the Grand Hyatt, it seems that most of the renovation money was spent on the lobby, as the guest rooms are adequate but not nearly as striking as the lobby. The restaurant is completely amazing (which was pleasantly surprising for Utica). No high-speed Internet access in rooms (2 computers available for free Internet access in "business center").
Price: ~$108/night including taxes and fees
Suites -- Bring the dog next time.
1379 Washington Ave., Albany, NY
Hotel is across the street from SUNY-Albany, so you'd think there would be something (anything?) happening nearby, but not much other than hotels, gas stations, and a mall. Each studio-apartment-style room has a full kitchen and a sitting area w/sofa, and is decent enough (in a generic Marriott-esque way). Free breakfast. Allows pets, so Hammy gets to come along next time I'm headed that way. Free wireless Internet that actually works.
Price: Around a hundred bucks.
Embassy Suites -- Peaches!
6646 Old Collamer Road, East Syracuse, NY
The hotel lobby was enormous, filled with live trees, and reeked of peaches. My "suite" was seriously larger than my apartment and fairly nice, although with fairly generic hotel-ish decor. Wireless access available at $9.95 per day, which is highway-fucking-robbery, in my opinion, but at least it was on my company's dime. Creepy men in the elevator talked about their "business trip" while carrying 2 cases of beer and raving joyously about the free cocktail tickets each guest receives at check-in. No, I will not join you in your room for an ice-cold Molson. Free full breakfast with made-to-order omelettes and such.
Price: ~$111/night including taxes and fees
[1] Emphasis on semi, or so it seems.