Transitioning and the Loss that Comes with It

[tinhuviel]

In the past year, I have learnt that if you find yourself unable to behave in a manner more comfortable for those who have been your "friends" for years, and you begin to deal with issues that cannot be avoided in the best way you know how, there are many so-called friends who deem it perfectly feasible to abandon you when you probably need them

Comments

[circumspectly]

Oh...that sucks. I wish I had the words...

(((hugs)))

**kleenex**

[tinhuviel]

Thanks, sweetie. This only confirms my belief that friends are friends, no matter what. Internet friendship should not be a designation when it comes to human interaction. The friends I have here with you guys mean more to me than most of my so-called 'real life' friendships. I owe still being here today to you guys, and I mean that in every way I can possibly express.

[miintikwa]

I am so sorry that people are shallow asshats who haven't got your back. I wish I was closer, I'd bring my bottle of rum over and we'd watch Tim Roth movies until our eyes fell out of our heads.

<3

[tinhuviel]

We must plan on this somehow, someway. I think that would be a glorious night ~ The Roth, Rum, and Rolling Eyeballs! <3 Love you.

[miintikwa]

Definitely! <3 love you. :D

[bubblesbrnaid]

And if I were any closer, I would crash said party. Hell, if you manage, give me some notice, I think you might be in driving distance, you know. :)

What? Somebody has to clean up the eyeballs.

[batchfile]

i find it hard to find face to face friends, myself. i would like to, i really would. but when the shit goes down, i've found no one standing by me

[tinhuviel]

We have been friends for years now, and I have never doubted that. Just because we don't reply to every little thing either of us says doesn't make it less of a reality. We say what we feel needs to be said, and what matters. Why say something just to be saying it, right? I'm glad we met, and I'm grateful to count you among my friends. Someday we might even get to meet. That would be great. If it doesn't happen, though, that doesn't lesson our relationship one little bit. I think Internet friendship is oftentimes deeper because we're sharing nothing but our souls here. The physical isn't even an issue here, and I find that not only lliberating, but extremely healthy in many ways. Thank you for worrying about me. It means more than you can possibly comprehend, or maybe not. I love you.

[brujah]

You're my friend and I would never abandon you because we disagreed on a point of faith. Faith is for an individual's comfort and I am not so insecure in my own set of beliefs that I find the beliefs of others threatening or intolerable.

I've often used humour to mask the darker things clouding my head. I'm a firm believer that it's better to laugh than cry. I am not everyone's cup of tea and I am choosy with whom I share any depth at all because apparently if you're quick to laugh, you're shallow and a clown.

Philosopher clown, that's me.

Grief is one of those things people talk around and about, but never really talk TO it unless they're experiencing the pain first hand. Folks can offer sympathy, but until you've experienced that level of loss first hand, you can never bring empathy into the picture.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I'm not here and not going anywhere unless you want rid of me. You're my friend.

[tinhuviel]

Thank you, Helly. Do you realise we've known each other for a decade now? How awesome is that? And yes, you're right about grief; unless you've truly experienced it, you just can't understand it. I would never have believed I, of all people, would have made a tribute video for the victims of Newtown. And I wouldn't have, if I had empathised with their devastating loss. Your experiences change you. The true test of your friends' mettle ad whether or notthey really are friends, is if they cost along with you to the end of the journey, whenever that is, acceptng what you feel you have to do, and make an affort not to judge. You're that person, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[brujah]

I was reading through some old, old entries the other night looking for something in particular involving Morgan's school and ended up finding the entry wherein I told the entirety of my Friend's list that I intended to fart on your thigh bone. ;)

[tinhuviel]

Only people on LJ would know that a Helly thigh fart is the highest of honours.

[mizliz]

I think it's that most humans scare pretty easy...seeing other people's pain, tragedy, loss is too real, and too much a reminder that no one is protected and we are all fair game.

So in go the fingers in the ears and the "LALALALALALA-I-CAN'T-HEAR-YOU" (metaphorically speaking). Which is shitty to do. But not surprising. Mostly, people act pretty much like people, which is to say: Dumb, Panicky and Dangerous.

I don't have any real response, except a (((hug)))

[tinhuviel]

Thank you, Liz. You mean a great deal to me, and I mean that. <3.