Hand in the Dark [RP for aces_are_rare]

[timewill_tell]

It was nearing dusk as the Doctor and and Ace walked away from the small village, home to the Trelek people. It was a small planet, harboring only that small village, and a diverse variety of flora and fauna, but as planets went, it was one of the more unremarkable ones the Doctor had encountered. In fact, he was certain he'd never even been there

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[timewill_tell]

Though the relief was marginal, the removal of his shirt at least allowed him to feel less stifled. The sweat on his skin had been trapped there by the fabric, and now his skin was exposed, cooling it minutely. He began to shiver again, and so pulled the covers up to his neck once more. He couldn't honestly remember the last time he'd had a fever, though he was certain it had never been as bad as this. It frustrated him that he was so warm, but then would begin to shiver if he pulled the blankets down

[timewill_tell]

Luckily, the Doctor's loo was relatively close to his bed; the TARDIS, feeling she had to do something to help, turned the showers on as hot as they could go, helping to create a steam that drifted into the Doctor's bedroom. She hoped it would help him, and by turns, help Ace, who was doing everything she could to help the Doctor. Sitting up seemed to have a positive effect on his breathing as well. Though there was still a rattle in his lungs that wouldn't abate any time soon, he wasn't on the verge of losing air altogether, like he had been such a short time ago. His breaths were still slightly uneven, but he wasn't breathing as violently, wasn't choking

[aces_are_rare]

They sat like that for hours. Ace didn't dare fall asleep, afraid that her hold on the Professor would loosen and he would fall, afraid that his breathing would worsen again. She felt each breath rattling where his back rested against his chest, knew that his lungs were not full of air as they should be. The steam from the loo seemed to be helping the Professor but it was making her own skin warm and sticky and she leaned back a little to make her own breathing easier. The back of her head touched the TARDIS wall and she could feel the humming there, louder and more obvious then she'd ever experienced it before

[timewill_tell]

The hours he'd spent resting had rejuvenated him somewhat, so that when he opened his eyes this time, they were only clouded with fever, not lethargy. He couldn't quite be certain why, either, but while he'd slept, he'd felt...comfort. Not bothering to move from his position, he reached for the mug. He didn't protest when Ace helped guide it to his mouth, and took a few healthy sips of the warm liquid. It had a cathartic effect on him, even in small doses, which was something he'd always appreciated about tea

[aces_are_rare]

Hearing the words, knowing he meant them, set her heart to racing. Although he had shown her how he felt a million times, and she'd understood, this past week, how he felt, it was still a thrill to hear the words spoken. They didn't come any easier for him then they did for her, and for that reason they meant even more to her. There was something, though, a tone in his voice that sounded a little too much like goodbye. She refused to listen to that part, to let it matter

[timewill_tell]

The Doctor smiled at the kiss, knowing the touch conveyed everything she couldn't say. Obligingly, he drank more of the tea, taking slow sips until he'd finished it all. When at last he had drank it all, the Doctor relaxed against the pillows once more. He moved his hand, indicating he wanted her to come closer. When her face was near hers, he pressed his lips tenderly to her forehead, lingering longer than he needed to. It would be the only time she'd ever feel such warmth from one of his kisses, he realized

[aces_are_rare]

Might not make it. Ace's first reaction was to bolt, to run as fast and far as she could, until the words no longer echoed in her mind. Only the fact that her need to stay at his side was a stronger urge kept her where she was, but still she pulled away from his touch, moving as far as she could while still remaining on the bed

[timewill_tell]

He berated himself for a few seconds, for voicing such a possibility aloud. He should have kept it to himself, knowing Ace would react that way. Certainly, whenever she had been hurt or ill in any way, it was enough to worry about her on his own, without someone else reminding him that things could get worse. He still thought of that time she'd been shot, and he'd been made to wait in the hospital, thinking the worst. Unconsciously, his hold on her tightened as much as it could, and he turned his face to bury his mouth against her hair

[aces_are_rare]

Ace remembered the pain that had ripped through her when Manisha had died, and knew that it would be even worse if the Professor fell to this disease. She could tell him that, though. She refused to say anything that would make him worry about her, and he would worry if he understood what his dying would do to her. And it would be a death, no matter what he'd explained to her about regeneration. The Doctor would still exist but the Professor would be dead and that might be even harder to cope with

[timewill_tell]

The Doctor's smile was melancholic, full of understanding. Desperately, he thought of anything he could do to make their present situation better, to soothe both of them. He wished he could talk; he was good at talking about anything, rambling on for hours, and maybe Ace would like that now, just to hear his voice, but it was too hard for him to speak for any length of time. He wanted to read her poetry, to tell her all the things in his hearts right now, all the things he wanted to see and do with her, but he couldn't find breath enough. There had to be something. He wished he could show her things, communicate with her in a way that didn't involve speech, if they could link their minds...but it was an invasive thing, something he wasn't sure she would welcome or want, and something he wasn't even certain he had the strength to sustain. But it would be...wonderful. He'd never done that with a human, never had any desire to

[aces_are_rare]

Once upon a time Ace had been horrible with words. She'd shouted small eloquent phrases like 'toe rag' and 'bilge bag' and hidden inside anger and behind explosions. Over the years she'd learned how to work around her emotions, using words in a pale echo of the Professor's skill, talking and making plans and convincing people to do what she wanted on the merits of her speech alone. Now, though, she was falling backwards into old habits, her words lost inside her fear and anger

[timewill_tell]

Her answer was almost a relief to him; it was something he could do, simply lay there and hold her. There were so many things he wanted to do right now, but they seemed so intangible, so impossible. And he hated believing that anything was impossible. The Doctor had no idea how much time had passed since they'd first returned to the TARDIS, and now, but it had very likely been quite some time. And knowing Ace, she hadn't slept, which bothered him deeply. He had no thought for himself as he held her closer, only concerned with doing what he could to allow her some much-needed rest

[aces_are_rare]

Ace rested with her head against his hearts, their pulse a comforting rhythm. As long as they continued to beat everything - or at least the most important things - in her world were as they should be. Her eyes, already half closed, lowered completely and she snuggled closer to him. I little rest, just a bit of a kip, wouldn't be a bad idea. If his breathing worsened she would be the first to know

[timewill_tell]

The Doctor had remained awake while Ace slept, feeling it was the least he could do for her. And for this brief interim, he didn't feel quite as tired as he had been. His hand had continued stroking through her hair, down her back, and he felt her stiffen, her sleep becoming more troubled.

"I'm here, Ace," he assured her in a quiet voice, when she started awake. He soothed her brow with his thumb, trying to coax her back to sleep. "Not leaving you. Go...back to sleep."

He was quite worried about her lack of sleep, and briefly contemplated using his mind to induce sleep for her, if she tried to resist. He realized by doing that he might incur a great deal of anger from her, but it was a possibility nonetheless. His other thought was trying to stumble his way to the console and see if the TARDIS had any news for him. He was tired of being helpless, he had to do something for himself, and he didn't want to continue to rely on Ace so much. It wasn't fair to her, it was wearing her out

[aces_are_rare]

"Naff catapillers," she muttered, already slipping back into sleep again. "Maybe I should dump milkshakes on their heads. Worked last time."

Her hand fell slightly, finding a resting place on his side, just at the bottom of his rib cage. Subconsciously, perhaps, she picked that as the best place to feel his lungs expand and contract, monitoring him even in her sleep. It might have been the slow stroking of her hair or the promise in his words but she was able to get a few hours of good sleep before the dreams seeped into her mind again.

For the first time in over a year she dreamt of a cold stone cell, of being alone and helpless. She saw a leering grin and felt the touch of hands making her dirty. Dark eyes glowed with promises to be kept, favours owed.

Ace struggled against the arm that had her pinned down, forgetting until she fell against the bed that it was the Professor holding her.

"Sorry," she apologised sheepishly.

[timewill_tell]

"Hmm?" He rumbled, starting to drift towards sleep once more himself. Nightmares, he realized, trying to open his eyes further. The Doctor turned his head to cough violently, trying to move the fluid in his lungs, to no avail. He drew a sharp, deep breath, regulating it somewhat, though it remained uneven, a harsher rattle beneath his ribs.

"I can...help you sleep," he murmured drowsily. "No bad dreams...only sleep. You...need it."

His fever had remained at a steady level for the last few hours, which he'd been grateful for. It was rising again, he could feel, and his thoughts were beginning to lose coherency. He almost didn't want Ace to be conscious for this anymore, as he continued to get worse. Maybe it would be better for her to sleep, so she didn't have to be witness to his spiking temperature, his gasps for breath. It was the only comfort he could give her now. His fingers stroked against her brow, already trying to induce sleep, to quiet her mind so the nightmares fled and she could slumber peacefully. He hoped she wouldn't