Hand in the Dark [RP for aces_are_rare]

[timewill_tell]

It was nearing dusk as the Doctor and and Ace walked away from the small village, home to the Trelek people. It was a small planet, harboring only that small village, and a diverse variety of flora and fauna, but as planets went, it was one of the more unremarkable ones the Doctor had encountered. In fact, he was certain he'd never even been there

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[aces_are_rare]

Once upon a time Ace had been horrible with words. She'd shouted small eloquent phrases like 'toe rag' and 'bilge bag' and hidden inside anger and behind explosions. Over the years she'd learned how to work around her emotions, using words in a pale echo of the Professor's skill, talking and making plans and convincing people to do what she wanted on the merits of her speech alone. Now, though, she was falling backwards into old habits, her words lost inside her fear and anger.

Anything, he'd said, but she knew it wasn't true. They couldn't wander the hall aimlessly, opening doors at random and discovering what surprised the TARDIS held for them. They couldn't go to some little English pub and hide in a corner booth for hours, holding hands and telling stories. They couldn't watch a lightning storm dance across the sky, feeling the thunder reverberate under their feet. Those were things that existed, if they did at all, in their future.

"Can we lay here, just like this, for a little while? I need..." She hated to waste this moment of his lucidity, but other then the few moments in the chair she hadn't slept at all, and her eyes were so heavy. She tried to smother a yawn, with little success. "Just for a little while."

[timewill_tell]

Her answer was almost a relief to him; it was something he could do, simply lay there and hold her. There were so many things he wanted to do right now, but they seemed so intangible, so impossible. And he hated believing that anything was impossible. The Doctor had no idea how much time had passed since they'd first returned to the TARDIS, and now, but it had very likely been quite some time. And knowing Ace, she hadn't slept, which bothered him deeply. He had no thought for himself as he held her closer, only concerned with doing what he could to allow her some much-needed rest.

He would have hummed if he'd had the strength, but he thought of something nearly as good; carefully, the Doctor moved Ace's head so that it rested near his hearts, hoping that the sound would reassure her in some way, allow her to sleep while she knew he was all right. With one arm wrapped around her, he used his free hand to stroke her hair, his fingers caressing her forehead.

"This is...just what I need," he whispered hoarsely, smiling against her forehead. In truth, it felt wonderful to simply hold her, and he was determined to savor it as long as he could. He liked the idea of being able to watch over her for a bit, it made him feel empowered in some way. "Rest, beloved."

As soon as he said the word, he worried; but it had been said, and he couldn't take it back. In fact, it felt so natural to say it that he couldn't muster the energy to chide himself. Instead, he held her just as tightly, hoping his caresses against her head would put her to sleep.

[aces_are_rare]

Ace rested with her head against his hearts, their pulse a comforting rhythm. As long as they continued to beat everything - or at least the most important things - in her world were as they should be. Her eyes, already half closed, lowered completely and she snuggled closer to him. I little rest, just a bit of a kip, wouldn't be a bad idea. If his breathing worsened she would be the first to know.

Caught on the edge of sleep she heard the word beloved, but wasn't sure if it had been spoken aloud or was a random synapse firing in her brain. It made her frown, just a little; not because she didn't like the word, but becasue it seemed so ill suited to herself. She was all harsh edges and loud noises and beloved spoke of lace and softness and gentleness. It spoke of the Professor, though, and that was enough.

Ace fell deeper asleep, down a rabbit's hole, past clocks and blue boxes and water drops. She dreamed of warm fires and giant catapillars that changed into different coloured catapillars instead of butterflies. She danced with the Professor until Hex broke in, followed by Benny and Bev and the Brig and Liam, each person taking her farther from the Professor. They spun in a circle and she looked back, finding Manisha standing next to the TARDIT dressed all in white with a familiar looking fedora on her head. She couldn't see the Professor anywhere.

"Where are you?" She pulled herself from the dream, her eyes coming open at a speed that temporarily blinded her when the light flooded in. The duel beating of two hearts helped her to shake off the dream.

[timewill_tell]

The Doctor had remained awake while Ace slept, feeling it was the least he could do for her. And for this brief interim, he didn't feel quite as tired as he had been. His hand had continued stroking through her hair, down her back, and he felt her stiffen, her sleep becoming more troubled.

"I'm here, Ace," he assured her in a quiet voice, when she started awake. He soothed her brow with his thumb, trying to coax her back to sleep. "Not leaving you. Go...back to sleep."

He was quite worried about her lack of sleep, and briefly contemplated using his mind to induce sleep for her, if she tried to resist. He realized by doing that he might incur a great deal of anger from her, but it was a possibility nonetheless. His other thought was trying to stumble his way to the console and see if the TARDIS had any news for him. He was tired of being helpless, he had to do something for himself, and he didn't want to continue to rely on Ace so much. It wasn't fair to her, it was wearing her out.

"I'll be here...when you wake," he echoed the words she'd said to him so long ago.

[aces_are_rare]

"Naff catapillers," she muttered, already slipping back into sleep again. "Maybe I should dump milkshakes on their heads. Worked last time."

Her hand fell slightly, finding a resting place on his side, just at the bottom of his rib cage. Subconsciously, perhaps, she picked that as the best place to feel his lungs expand and contract, monitoring him even in her sleep. It might have been the slow stroking of her hair or the promise in his words but she was able to get a few hours of good sleep before the dreams seeped into her mind again.

For the first time in over a year she dreamt of a cold stone cell, of being alone and helpless. She saw a leering grin and felt the touch of hands making her dirty. Dark eyes glowed with promises to be kept, favours owed.

Ace struggled against the arm that had her pinned down, forgetting until she fell against the bed that it was the Professor holding her.

"Sorry," she apologised sheepishly.

[timewill_tell]

"Hmm?" He rumbled, starting to drift towards sleep once more himself. Nightmares, he realized, trying to open his eyes further. The Doctor turned his head to cough violently, trying to move the fluid in his lungs, to no avail. He drew a sharp, deep breath, regulating it somewhat, though it remained uneven, a harsher rattle beneath his ribs.

"I can...help you sleep," he murmured drowsily. "No bad dreams...only sleep. You...need it."

His fever had remained at a steady level for the last few hours, which he'd been grateful for. It was rising again, he could feel, and his thoughts were beginning to lose coherency. He almost didn't want Ace to be conscious for this anymore, as he continued to get worse. Maybe it would be better for her to sleep, so she didn't have to be witness to his spiking temperature, his gasps for breath. It was the only comfort he could give her now. His fingers stroked against her brow, already trying to induce sleep, to quiet her mind so the nightmares fled and she could slumber peacefully. He hoped she wouldn't resist.

[aces_are_rare]

She sat still, concentrating on the Professor's fingers, letting the dream fade away until it receded to the back of her mind where it crouched in the shadows. She knew it was there, that it would come back again, but not soon. She never had that particular nightmare very often, though it generally threw her off for days when she did. Now she had other things to worry about.

She leaned against him, drowsy once again. It was only when she noticed that his gentle touches were not confined to her brow that she pulled away. She could feel him in her mind, lulling her into sleep.

"Oi! Don't do that." Once she might have accused him of being manipulative, but now she understood that he was only trying to help. That didn't mean she had to like it.

"I'll sleep when I want to sleep, yeah?" She touched his nose gently so he knew that she wasn't angry and climbed down from the bed. She needed to stretch her legs a little - curled up on someone's lap wasn't the best way to sleep, even if she had needed it at the time - but more importantly she needed to use the loo.

Ace used the toilet and contemplated a quick shower but settled for washing her face with cold water. Thirsty, she filled up a cup with water and drained it in three long gulps before returning to the bedroom.

[timewill_tell]

By the time she'd returned, the Doctor had drifted further into the chaos of his mind, away from reality once more. He was more agitated and restless than he'd previously been, thinking he needed to get to the console room for some reason. Though he didn't have the strength to make it there, he still tried to sit up, almost tumbling out of the bed as he rolled sideways. He was mumbling nonsensically, his words occasionally cut off by lack of breath.

"Time...strange business...I'm sorry, Ace...Ace," he tried to sit up again, more fitful now, "forgive me...Ace...you're my--my...my girl..."

Though he was weak, the TARDIS was alarmed that his agitation might cause him to accidentally harm himself or Ace in some way. Through their symbiotic link, the TARDIS infiltrated the Doctor's mind, quieting his thoughts as he so often did for others. Forcefully, she began to lull him to sleep, as he'd tried to do with Ace. The TARDIS had finally managed to come up with an herbal concoction she thought was their best chance in helping to flush the toxin from the Doctor's system. But in order for Ace to make it, they both had to be sure that the Doctor could be left alone without trying to stumble out of bed and hurt himself. So she quieted him, humming a lullaby in his mind as she forced him into slumber. His resistance, though weak, made it slightly more difficult for her.

"No, no..." The Doctor tried to protest, feeling his ship pushing him towards unconsciousness. Ace was here, not there, and he wanted to be wherever Ace was. He reached for Ace's hand, as though hoping the touch would be enough to keep him awake. "I don't want...I want to...stay here..."

Finally, his eyes slid closed, his limp hand falling away from its grip on Ace's hand. The TARDIS hoped it hadn't alarmed Ace, but she was fairly certain the young woman was smart enough to realize what had happened. Now, the more difficult task at hand was trying to direct Ace to the console room.

[aces_are_rare]

"Professor, what the...." Ace raced to the bed, reaching for him as he struggled. She tired to hold onto his hand, frightened by his protest that something was trying to take hm away. She wouldn't let it.

"Don't..." Something suddenly felt familiar. Maybe it was the fact that he had just tried to do the same thing to her, but it felt as if he had been fighting sleep. He was asleep not, still breathing, resting easier then he had been. He no longer thrashed on the bed, coming close to falling.

"Was that you? Do you play those Jedi mind games too?" Though she knew the TARDIS was surrounding her she looked up the the ceiling. "I get it, if it was, but can you let me know for sure?"

[timewill_tell]

In response, the TARDIS flashed the lights in the bedroom, her way of answering, 'Yes' to the question. The problem, the TARDIS realized, was getting Ace to the console room; she was fairly certain that Ace wasn't eager to suddenly leave the Doctor's side for an extended length of time, but it was imperative, in order to save him. She would have to make use of everything available to her, to convince Ace that the Doctor would be safe for now, and to help guide her to the console room.

First, the TARDIS turned her vents on full blast, pushing them at an angle, so that the blankets on the Doctor's bed were pushed forward, covering him up to his neck. He was still positioned upright, so that his breathing wouldn't be too troubled for the moment.

Next, the TARDIS shut off all the lights in the Doctor's room, throwing it into darkness. A straight line of pulsing dots suddenly appeared on the ceiling, a directional light, leading Ace out of the room. If she followed the lights, they would lead her directly to the console room. The TARDIS desperately hoped it worked. All the while, she hummed as loudly as she could, in a soothing manner; partly, that was her lullaby for the Doctor, but it was also to soothe Ace, to reassure her that everything would be better now.

[aces_are_rare]

"Is this your subtle way of trying to get me to go somewhere?" Ace didn't leave the bed immediately. She hadn't been away fomr the Professor for more then a few minutes since he had fallen ill, but she knew that what ever the TARDIS wanted her to do - and she desperately hoped that it was to mix up some sort of anti toxin - it would mean being gone from his side for a longer amount of time. In the darkness she felt for his hand, squeezing it.

"Alright, I'm coming. But if he needs me you make sure I understand, you get me back her, or else..." There was nothing she could threaten the ship with, so she let the sentence dangle. She knew, though, that she was understood. She rose from the bed, pausing at the doorway to look back into the shrouded room. "We're gonna fix this, Professor."

Ace followed the flashing lights down the corridor to the console room.

[timewill_tell]

On the display screen in the console room, the TARDIS presented a step-by-step diagram on how to create the blend of herbs (the leaves of two different plants, the bark of a small shrub, and the roots of a rare flower--all of which were in the TARDIS garden; it was one of the first times the TARDIS thought to appreciate the Doctor's predilection for acquiring samples of plant life from other planets, otherwise this entire anti-toxin might not be able to come to fruition). All of the plants had to be crushed, and then boiled, and served to the Doctor. The TARDIS was thankful the process wasn't too complicated, which meant the Doctor could begin to heal as quickly as possible.

Of course, the TARDIS's top priority had been to find a combination of herbs that would neutralize the toxins in the Doctor's blood; she had carefully examined not only his tainted blood sample, but his normal blood, making sure the anti-toxin wouldn't react adversely with his physiology. What she didn't think to put on the display screen for Ace was the side effect. So long as it would cure him, she hadn't thought to make a note of what else it would do. Two of the herbs were powerful sedatives; combined with his physiology--which at times allowed him to enter a mild healing trance when he had a broken bone, so that his body could relax while it healed--the Doctor would slip into a restorative coma for a few days until the toxin was completely flushed from his system, and his body was completely recuperated.

Once Ace had read the directions, the TARDIS flipped the lights back on, humming her confidence in Ace beneath the woman's fingers.

[aces_are_rare]

Ace didn't spend much time in the TARDIS garden. It was a beautiful place, and peaceful, but she had grown up in a place where flowers were usually limited to a couple of pots on the fire escape - something they'd never even had - so walking in a garden had never become a habit of hers. If she needed to relax she usually went to the pool - though she hadn't done that for a week.

As unfamiliar with the space as she was it still didn't take her long to find what she needed. Leaves were yanked from two plants, a branch broken off one bush and a flower pulled from the dirt. With her treasures in hand she raced to the kitchen. It seemed like the best place to crush and boil the (hopeful) remedy. It was hard not to run back to the Professor's bedroom first to check on him.

It was almost like being in her lab, cutting and crushing and measuring. It was easier to think of it that way, to lose herself in the science of it rather then think about what it might or might not accomplish. Green and blue and brown swirled together in the water that, when strained, took on a pale red colour. She poured it into a mug and carried to the Professor's room.

"You better be right about this," she swore softly, but she paused and patted the wall just outside the room. She could feel the humming under her fingers.

"Professor?" She knelt next to him on the bed. "I need you to drink this."

[timewill_tell]

The TARDIS had gradually been releasing her hold on his mind, in anticipation of Ace arriving with the medicinal concoction soon. As such, the Doctor had slowly been stirring, not nearly as agitated and delusional as he'd been earlier. His body still felt unbearably hot, his lungs were constricted, and his whole body was aching like it hadn't before. He craved some comfort, some release, some assurance that it might get better, because it only seemed to be getting worse at this point.

His room was dim when his eyes fluttered open, and he wondered where Ace was. For a moment, a ripple of cold terror went through him, his mind betraying him. But in mere seconds, he heard her coming, and there she was, telling him to drink something. So the TARDIS had found an antidote, and Ace had made it. The Doctor smiled at Ace in the low lighting, sitting up a bit to better meet her gaze.

His hands cupped the mug, bringing it to his mouth. The taste was atrocious, but he knew he needed to drink it. Slowly, he downed the liquid and relaxed against the pillows, threading his fingers with Ace's.

"You've been...incredible," the Doctor murmured, looking straight into her eyes. Everything she had done...he knew she probably thought it was what anyone would do for someone they loved, and certainly what he would have done, but he was still humbled and awed by her. "I'm so proud...of you. Tell me again...about our date..."

There was a twinkle in his eyes as he said that.

[aces_are_rare]

"I'm not incredible. I'm just me." As usual Ace felt slightly uncomfortable with the praise. Her explosions, even her brains, she could take a compliment well (even demand one, on occasion) but other things... it was just weird. She was doing nothing more then he would for her, if their places were switched.

"Nutter," she said under her breath, but with a smile. The blanket had fallen and she tucked it around him carefully before moving closer to sit facing him, her legs crossed. Absently she played with one of his hands.

"Did we decide on the gallery? Something light playing on the boombox - jazz, or maybe some Beatles. Tea and scones and I think we'll have custard tarts too. You're going to read to me, tempt me into liking another poet, and then I'm going to tempt you into putting down your book." She leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss against his lips that was a dim echo of what she really wanted.

[timewill_tell]

The kiss lingered pleasantly on his lips, and he smiled at her, running his fingers over her hand. It sounded like a wonderful time, and he was looking forward to it so much, he was half-tempted to stumble out of this bed and make a go of it now. If only he had the strength. In time, he realized, all in time. For now, they were here, and he was going to get better.

"You always...save me. All the time...in some fashion," he remarked, his voice suddenly growing quieter. "My touchstone...compass..." They were, perhaps, cliche, but they were so true, the only words he could think of to even begin to describe her place in his hearts.

"Beloved," he said again, unafraid of her reaction, hoping she would hear it.

A few seconds ticked by, and the loving smile on his face gave way to a frown. He was suddenly intensely tired. So intense, in fact, that he couldn't manage to keep his eyes open. It alarmed him that it would hit him so quickly, so overwhelmingly, but he was too tired to even voice his concern. Perhaps it was a side effect of the medicine; he was certain that had to be it, the TARDIS would've made sure. Still, he had no idea what Ace would think, but couldn't ponder it any longer. His limp hand slipped out of Ace's grip, his head lolled to the side as his eyes slid shut.