FF7, Damage Control

[thorne_scratch]

A drabble for 2metaldog, who asked for Something about Tseng and Reno? They look so wonderfully wrong together from the "Name something you think I won't write" meme.

It's sort of a fun meme, even if I do think dev_chieftain's ideas will give me an aneurysm.

Comments

[2metaldog]

I heart you very hard for this. Poor Tseng *pets*.

Errrr.... is there any chance of getting a copy of that video tape? Just for... uh.... reminders of the ills of overindulging. It comes in hi-def with surround stereo sound, right?

[thorne_scratch]

Thanks! Glad you like it.

I wouldn't count on it. If Meteor doesn't do the trick, I'm pretty sure Tseng is determined to end the world in some other fashion, solely so no one will ever find out.

[sakuranochi]

Personally, I liked;

Or take off his pants and hope she'd have a heart attack.

[thorne_scratch]

Tseng will use his wiles any way he can!

[sakuranochi]

Tseng will use his cock any way he can!

Fixed!

[thorne_scratch]

Tseng is efficient; any body part that'll get the job done will suffice.

[girlchild]

Dude, sleeping with Reno would mean you'd have to take out, like, half the Planet. Poor Tseng.

But now nobody can say that Scarlet's the only one who slept her way to the top! XD

[thorne_scratch]

Yeah, he figures it's just easier to pull a Sephiroth and try to end everyone at once. I mean, it's that or have everyone know...

Totally! Although this is Shinra. It's safe bets that at least half these people have slept their way to the top.

I'm trying to write magical Utena-verse mpreg, now. I keep thinking, "Well, at least this is kinda in character for the show..."

[girlchild]

Hahaha, I just totally cracked myself up thinking, "What if Rufus is the only one who *didn't* sleep his way to the top?" And then, "What if he somehow *did*?!" Oh dear, it's going to be a long day. ^^; And I think someone whacked me with the stupid stick first thing this morning.

The other day I was having a conversation with my friend about how Touga and Juri* having a love child and then going on a killing spree with guns was *totally* plausible, within canon. It was a kind of cracky conversation. (Understatement alarm!)

(*And I believe Juri is about as gay as it gets. Juri/Ruka just... does not work for me. But Juri/Touga somehow does. I wonder why? Touga somehow breaks the barrier of sexual orientation with his magical penis of love! ...Or something.)

[thorne_scratch]

I think Rufus is of the type who would order others to sleep their way to the top for him. He does have the white pimp suit.

You know, I can kinda see Touga/Juri if I squint at it-- because it would be, in a sense, a role reversal. Juri would be the dude and Touga would be the girl. And Touga doesn't seem to have any problem with such sexual identity peccadillos, so it... it kinda works. See, Ruka? If only you were more flexible in your sexual identity, you too could score with a hot lesbian! You'd just have to resign yourself to submission to the "Bend-Over-Boyfriend" routine.

[orenda33]

Thanks for sharing... I could just picture the look on Tseng's face and it was so very amusing. ^_^

[thorne_scratch]

You're welcome! Thanks for commenting! Poor Tseng, it really was a bit of a shock.

[atouchofyou]

Heee. I love your Reno so much. Incidentaly, have you read Bish Ink's personal canon for the Turks? I think you'd like it.

[thorne_scratch]

Thanks! And I read some of their FF7 stuff long ago, but it's been a while. These days, I just lurk in my own corner and occasionally banter with friends who won't mind the convuluted fanon I've got.