FF7, Damage Control

[thorne_scratch]

A drabble for 2metaldog, who asked for Something about Tseng and Reno? They look so wonderfully wrong together from the "Name something you think I won't write" meme.

It's sort of a fun meme, even if I do think dev_chieftain's ideas will give me an aneurysm.

Comments

[girlchild]

Dude, sleeping with Reno would mean you'd have to take out, like, half the Planet. Poor Tseng.

But now nobody can say that Scarlet's the only one who slept her way to the top! XD

[thorne_scratch]

Yeah, he figures it's just easier to pull a Sephiroth and try to end everyone at once. I mean, it's that or have everyone know...

Totally! Although this is Shinra. It's safe bets that at least half these people have slept their way to the top.

I'm trying to write magical Utena-verse mpreg, now. I keep thinking, "Well, at least this is kinda in character for the show..."

[girlchild]

Hahaha, I just totally cracked myself up thinking, "What if Rufus is the only one who *didn't* sleep his way to the top?" And then, "What if he somehow *did*?!" Oh dear, it's going to be a long day. ^^; And I think someone whacked me with the stupid stick first thing this morning.

The other day I was having a conversation with my friend about how Touga and Juri* having a love child and then going on a killing spree with guns was *totally* plausible, within canon. It was a kind of cracky conversation. (Understatement alarm!)

(*And I believe Juri is about as gay as it gets. Juri/Ruka just... does not work for me. But Juri/Touga somehow does. I wonder why? Touga somehow breaks the barrier of sexual orientation with his magical penis of love! ...Or something.)

[thorne_scratch]

I think Rufus is of the type who would order others to sleep their way to the top for him. He does have the white pimp suit.

You know, I can kinda see Touga/Juri if I squint at it-- because it would be, in a sense, a role reversal. Juri would be the dude and Touga would be the girl. And Touga doesn't seem to have any problem with such sexual identity peccadillos, so it... it kinda works. See, Ruka? If only you were more flexible in your sexual identity, you too could score with a hot lesbian! You'd just have to resign yourself to submission to the "Bend-Over-Boyfriend" routine.

[girlchild]

I think Rufus is of the type who would order others to sleep their way to the top for him.
-- You just explained Reno, Scarlet, and Zack!

Juri would be the dude and Touga would be the girl.
Yeah, that's why in every Juri/Touga drabble I've ever written, it's been all about how girly Touga is, and how Juri is a badass bitch who could beat his ass. Sometimes Juri even compares Touga to Shiori in these drabbles, because she's a masochist. seitokaichou got me started on this; her head is full of these cracked out ideas and plus she's the best Touga writing inspiration this side of anywhere. *^^*

Ruka, on the other hand... he's like the Wonder Bread of Ohtori. Not even a mauling from the Ohtori LGBTA Club could set him, um, straight. *hums "Pink Triangle"*

[thorne_scratch]

Hell, they'd all sleep their way to the top just for fun! Never mind Rufus ordering it.

Heh. I like. I think the Juri-Shiori-Touga triangle has more credence when you look at the movie versions of them, but that's just because the movie went so batshit in the first place. Plus, all those hot-hot toenail painting scenes! Oh Touga, you are the feyest thing ever.

I agree on Ruka. "Pink Triangle" was just made for him. (And although I see it more as a joke because it's not really him, I also think "I Wish I Was Queer (So I Could Get Chicks)" applies as well!)

[girlchild]

Yeah, but I'm the kind of pervert that would pretty much dig Rufus ordering it. (Okay, probably not Scarlet, but Zack and Reno, yeah. And maybe Tseng thrown into the mix as well, because Rufus/Tseng is bitchin'. Plus I've never actually read any Zack/Tseng. Huh. That would be so cool