RANT: "Parents Just Don't Understand"

[thewhitedragon]

"You just don't like kids!"

I've heard that many times and in many situations. Many of my friends even believe this but in reality, it's not that I don't like kids because I actually do. No, I don't want any of my own because... to be completely honest... I'm extremely greedy with what I have. I don't want to devote my life, my sanity, my toys, or

Comments

[queenmaggie]

I agree with you completely...but I think the other article went too far. Crying baby on a plane? nothing much anyone can do. Kicking kid ? Gonna wish he'd never been born.
My biggest dislike of the other article is the insistence that spanking makes the difference...for some kids it might, but it isn't necessary for most.

[pyratelady]

This writer seems to go a bit far with his columns... I remember he wrote something else by taking a good point and going way too far with it. It was about a pre-teen or young teen girl who he thought was dressed too seductively. Because she was wearing lipgloss, Juicy sweatpants, and (clutching pearls) hoop earrings. Her belly was exposed, but he was thinking she looked "sexy." He should have stuck with the push-up swimsuit for little girls that he was criticizing.

I read this column and was like, "Really? You're a parent? Either you have a nanny or you really lack compassion." Yes, there are overly permissive parents out there, just as there are really strict ones, but sometimes really young kids and their parents just have a bad day. I was stuck in a crammed Metro car with a wailing Beth and I apologized to the entire car when we finally got off the train and the whole car was like, "Oh, it's okay."

[thewhitedragon]

While, to an extent, I'll agree that he goes very far. He takes it to extremes because for most people subtlety is a lost art form. I do the same here and elsewhere.

And it's not the occasionally cranky child he's referring to here though... it's the ones that the parents don't even *try* to discipline. It's the one whose parents turn a blind ear. And it's the ones who DON'T apologize because they feel it oppresses their right to be a parent.

As for the other article (guess I didn't realize he'd written both), I agreed with him there too and yes, I did cringe at his use of the "sexy" word but honestly, children today are dressing more provocatively and "adult" than ever before, at least in my opinion. As for your description, his point was that someone gave her the money for those clothes or someone bought them for her. In a society where we scream "pedophile!" are we really doing a child a favor by letting them ape more adult/provocative dress?

[thewhitedragon]

Spanking? it worked for me. I *can* behave in public when I want/need to. That said, there is a vast difference between a good spanking and beating a child -- and unfortunately if you spank your child, you risk having Child Services called on you for "child abuse". *eyeroll*

[pyratelady]

To the parents who at make a considerable effort to discipline your child when they're being "naughty"? Thank you. I sincerely mean that. Could you maybe give the others some pointers? They won't listen, and they'll get really offended if someone offers

[blueeowyn]

Let me guess, you get the "well you can't possibly understand ..."

[pyratelady]

I don't get that, because I know better than to offer... my confrontation with my own brother was enough, I don't have the guts to confront a total stranger.

Every time I've told a kid to get off a stage, the parent has either seemed completely oblivious (like they seriously don't get what the big deal is) or blown off the whole thing (embarrassed, maybe). I don't think I've ever gotten an apology.

Interestingly, whenever a kid has groped my instrument -- it happens a lot, it's like they can't help themselves -- the parents have always either told the child themselves or agreed with me when I said something. But with the instrument groping... kids are QUICK when it comes to touching things. Maybe the parents are more understanding or responsive because I'm right there and it's not happening in front of a large audience?

[pyratelady]

What I mean by "not having the guts to confront a total stranger" is, I don't give anybody pointers about parenting unless I am asked specifically for advice.

For one thing, I think it's incredibly presumptuous to think that somebody wants my advice. For another, it's a big pet peeve of mine when people offer me unsolicited advice.

But obviously if some kid decides to jump onstage where our instruments are, I'm going to shoo him or her off.

[blueeowyn]

My personal favorites are the parents who are professionals (e.g. elementary school teachers, day-care providers, etc.) whose kids are hellions and then complain that the teachers are picking on their children. You know what? If your kid wasn't a PIA maybe they could focus on teaching your kid AND the other kids in the room

[thewhitedragon]

I've seen... on multiple occasions, children that will stand somewhere and just scream. Not because of pain or anger. Just to scream. At the top of their lungs. For no reason other than to scream. And no one told them to stop.

That is the kind of behaviour that makes me want to go over to the kid and scream back. Right in their face. To show them that it's fucking annoying and that people don't like it.

If one of those instances wasn't at the day care center here at work, I would have. I didn't want to deal with the cops showing up and arresting me for it though. Doesn't mean the idea didn't cross me mind repeatedly as I weighed the "reward" versus the "punishment".

[chris_warrior]

just wanted to post that i agree 400% with this one.

[thewhitedragon]

I was kinda hoping for 500% actually. ;)

[thatwordgrrl]

Oh ghods...

We went out to lunch today with a friend. Got seated next to a mom and three kids -- youngest about 9 months old.

And he was SHRIEKING at the top of his lungs. Like make-your-ears-bleed levels. And not, mind, because he was upset, but -- in the immortal words of his mother to the waitress -- "he's just a screamer."

At that point, we moved to the other side of the restaurant -- and we could STILL hear him carrying on.

Lady, swell that you recognize your kid is prone to screaming. Now how about *doing something about it* rather than just acting as though everyone else has to put up with it because that's just the way he is.

[thewhitedragon]

In this case, I'd have gone to the manager of the restaurant and lodged a complaint. I can't believe that you were the only ones who were annoyed at having a nice meal ruined. Sorry, if your kid is a screamer, stay the fuck home or start disciplining your child.