One this day, twenty-five years ago, an immensely fat woman shat a deformed, mentally-deficient pile of flesh from her womb.

Unfortunately, it's still alive and hasn't learned much in life since he figured out how to suck milk from a teat. Oh, well, here's to another 25 years of him having others change his diaper for him.

Things I Am Not Going To Do Next Weekend

1. Drink half a bottle of brandy for 'dinner'.
2. Drunk call one of my friends and tell him that I'm going to duct tape him to a cement block in my basement and feed him M&Ms (with the brown ones sorted out).

So, I got a MySpace like all the cool kids have ( Read more... )

For as long as I can remember, I've been pulling ( Read more... )

Life plods on.
So do I.
Meh.

Me: "Good evening ( Read more... )

So, I will be traveling once more to Vegas.
I can't help it, I'm fucking in love with the town,
Anyplace without Blue Laws and paries 24/7 is alright by me.
This year, however, I think I'm going to go late (late, late, late) into the year (or early, depending on how you look at it), somewhere around Janvier (January, for you non-Frenchie speaking ( Read more... )

Well, yeah ( Read more... )

**Part I**
Good and Evil: An Unbalanced Scale
So, anyway, me and Dr. Friend were having our sit-down when, of course, he asks the obligatory, "How are you feeling today?" Every time I think in my head, "Well, shitty, obviously, or I wouldn't be here." So, instead, I say, "What, truly, is the point of being good? Honestly, what is the point? So ( Read more... )

EDITED
In the spirit of George Carlin, people I can do without:

Poor Widdle Miss Daisy Who Couldn't POSSIBLY Open That Big Ol' Door On Her Own

The building I work in has several large, glass double doors.
There are these little princesses who will walk up to the door, see someone else approaching from the other side (regardless of sex) and just ( Read more... )