[multi-part] it was the worst of times...

[thesecretdoor]

Title: It was the worst of times...
Pairing: Taiga x Hokuto
Rating/Warnings: NC-17
Word Count: 9291
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, and only the words are mine.
Summary: He wants things to be OK between them, and they are mostly, but he wants them to be really OK, only he doesn’t know how to make things right again, if he even can.
A/N:

Comments

[lady_aenea]

I can't with you.
I can't with this and its perfection.
I JUST CAN'T WITH HOW HOT IT IS AND HOW PAINFUL AND ANGSTY AND PERFECT AND GODS, JUST SO FUCKING GOOD.
I DON'T DESERVE THIS MAGNIFICENT FIC T_T
I DON'T DESERVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU
MARRY ME.

Everything was so perfect, from the first fic and smoke and GOD WHY DO I LOVE SO MUCH IDOLS SMOKING IS BEYOND ME I JUST DO T___T

And then Taiga getting jealous and Hokuto being so confused and heart-broken. AND GOSH THE SEX. SHOWER SEX I LOVE SHOWER SEX.

And everything was so painful and gods, I loved every angsty letter of Taiga being an idiot and Hokuto not even knowing why and oh... SO GOOD, IT HURT SO GOOD ERUUUUUUU.

AND THEN YOU DARE TO THROW YUTOYAMA FEELS AT ME?! daskjdhsakjdhsakd I WAS DEAD BEFORE THAT AND THEN I REVIVED ONLY SO I COULD DIE AGAIN.

YUTO SMOKING
YUTO BEING SO SHORT-TEMPERED EVEN TAIGA KNOWS ABOUT IT UNDER THE IDOL FACADE
AND THEN THIS:

“We’re friends.” Yuto says pointedly. “We are, honestly...and sometimes there’s more...but it’s not love, not like love should be...

[thesecretdoor]

Micccccchan ♥ I'm so relieved that you like it! You deserve so much more than I could write for you! You are the queen of angst and you don't know how much I appreciate that there is someone else as twistedly into these boys being broken as I am!!!

As you know this was meant to be posted for you last year >_< I was randomly watching old Shounen Club episodes and noticed that Taiga and Jesse used to be the centres and then of course the whole HokuJe thing got so immensely popular and I was like hmm...this story seems familiar >_< I am so in tune to YutoYama angst that I just see it everywhere now. So yeah, this kinda started with the Taiga/Yuto conversation and exploded from there.

The reason it took so long was because I am too much of a perfectionist with making it as true to life as possible (though I did just notice one huuuuge glaring error in the first part) >_< I had to watch so much Shounen Club and flick through so many magazine scans to find exactly when and how Hokuto replaced Taiga as the centre and put as much of it in

[chained_akame]

Everytime I read sth of yours, I want to scream at myself because I can never find the words to properly convey how much I love it. Everytime I try, and everytime I fail. But even a failure comment is better than no comment at all, so here goes

[thesecretdoor]

Your comments aren't fail at all!! I love your comments!! I always appreciate long, detailed comments like these, they make me a very happy Eru!!

I have to say, this is totally my headcanon now >_< I noticed the YutoYama parallels while watching old Shounen Club episodes (the whole, one is the centre and is overtaken by the other) and the more research I did into it, the more feels I got. If you watch the behind the scenes of the Bakaleya movie and in Shokuras around that time they seem so cute and friendly and then HokuJe get really popular and Bakaleya fall apart and then things are awkward between HokuTai after that...so yeah, I definitely want to believe that there's some truth in this! But maybe that's because I'm such a glutton for angst >_<

Haha, I love your phrasing about Juri being the captain of the HokuTai ship >_< It's totally true though, I think he genuinely does ship them as much as we do!! So of course there has to be some mention of Juri helping them out in like everything I write >_Anyways, thank you so much for

[stormy1990]

I am super late with this comment bc I actually read this the day you uploaded it, but to be honest it was so good and still so painful that I couldn't comment right away! Bc you managed to rip all those wounds of mine open again, all those painful and yet amazing memories of how I got to know SixTONES and how I followed Hokuto's and Taiga's friendship crumble and somehow raise out of the ashes towards their "business" relationship. I know I might be a bit overdramatic, but well I was live with them a lot and saw the changes, the signs and while this is of course all fiction the way the somehow drifted apart feel just so real, exactly the same way I experienced it and that just makes me say: Good work! REALLY good work! Bc no matter how painful it is beautifully painful to read it! There were some parts I had already forgotten about, like when Hokuto/Jesse were completely seperated from the group for their own concert and damn that made me remember how angry I felt at that time, just like Taiga in this fic! Bc yes we should all feel

[su_jin]

Well damn. I'm generally a fluffy person but that hurt soooo gooooood. Why is your writing so perfect and beautiful?? T^T Yuto's advice is so effing real and yet so poetic I could write it in cursive and pin it on my wall.

I might leave a longer comment when I get back on my laptop but the angst is unreal I needed to drop a comment. *ugly crying* Thanks for the feels!