Where I Stood - Chapter Four: I Saw [Skins; Naomi/Emily] - Part Two
Where I Stood - Chapter Four: I Saw (Part One)
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She gets asked out by one of the teaching assistants and reluctantly agrees, thinks it’s probably for the best when Effy interrupts her sulking one evening by placing a hand on her knee with a pitying look and says, “Don’t do this to yourself again.”
Naomi feels like its karma catching up with her the moment that she walks into the restaurant with Melanie and instantly sets eyes on Emily seated at a table with Rachel.
Emily stops mid sentence at whatever she’s saying and stares over in Naomi’s direction. It draws Rachel’s attention to her and Naomi feels sick the moment Rachel smiles at her and waves them over.
“What a coincidence seeing you here. You and...” Rachel gestures at her date.
“Melanie.” Naomi extends, trying not to grind her teeth together at how uncomfortable she feels with Emily’s glare burning into her skin.
“You and Melanie must join us. We haven’t even ordered yet.”
“Babe, I’m sure they don’t want to sit with us.” Emily interjects quickly.
Rachel waves her hand dismissively. “Nonsense. You don’t mind, do you?” She smiles at them. “It’ll be fun.”
Before Naomi can even think to echo Emily’s comment Rachel waves her hand at the waiter and has them all moved to a bigger table. He gestures at the chair opposite Emily for her and Naomi realises that this is her very own version of torture, and tries not to let her eyes drift down to Emily’s cleavage as she reaches for her glass of water.
If Rachel or Melanie notice the thick awkwardness present between her and Emily she thinks they’re doing a good job of hiding it, feels it would be easier to disguise if Emily wouldn’t keep glaring at her while she fires questions at them.
“So, have you two been dating long?”
Melanie laughs and turns to Naomi with a shy smile. “No. This is our first date, actually. I’ve wanted to ask Naomi out for awhile but I’ve always lost my courage.”
Emily nods her head and takes a large mouthful of her wine. “What made you finally go for it this time, then?”
Rachel turns to Emily with a laugh and gently places her hand on top of Emily’s own. “Darling, this isn’t question hour.”
“Melanie doesn’t mind, do you? I’m just trying to get to know her.” Emily responds with a forced smile.
“It’s fine, really.” Melanie assures her before answering Emily’s question. “I guess seeing Naomi taking care of the girl who fell down and broke her ankle last week made me cave in and finally ask her. She was just so tender and caring that I knew she must be a big softie under her brash exterior.”
Naomi tries not to choke on her wine when Emily snorts quietly at the answer. Clears her throat and pierces Emily with narrowing eyes, trying to decipher the game they’re suddenly playing, but comes up short when Emily looks away.
She’s thankful when the waiter brings over their meals a second later, hopes food will do something to calm Emily’s mood. There’s no such luck though, when the questions continue throughout the meal to the extent where Naomi feels herself having to bite down hard on her lip just to stop herself from exploding at Emily in rage; feels the coppery taste of blood on her tongue after awhile and knows Emily is taking some kind of satisfaction by making this hard on her.
A wave of relief washes over her when the waiter brings over their bill after only two hours of utter hell and Naomi finds herself extending enough money to cover everyone’s cost just so she doesn’t have to sit and be integrated by Emily for a second longer.
It’s cold by the time they get outside and Naomi sees the way Emily slides her hand into Rachel’s and tugs her close, shooting Naomi a warning look.
It’s the final push against her limits.
It was the alcohol, Naomi will think later, which made her pull Melanie into her body and smash their lips together in a deep kiss, ignoring Rachel and Emily’s presence just a few feet away from them.
When she pulls back a long moment later with a final peck to Melanie’s lips she looks up to find Emily’s eyes, sees the discomfort on her face and smirks.
Emily’s lips twist into a sad frown, her face falling into a familiar painfully broken state as she looks away and when Naomi’s heart clenches agonizingly in her chest at the mere sight of it, she knows it’s been a pointless victory.
Doesn’t understand how they’ve let it get back to the stage where all they seem to do is hurt each other.
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She reverts back into a stage of self destructing, finds that it’s the only thing that helps her try to forget.
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Naomi arrives back home early one morning, feels how stiff her body is and knows she’s desperately in need of a shower to wash away the remains of her night.
“Hey, Eff, sorry I didn’t call last night. I ended up going home with some woman I met at a bar and--” Naomi stops abruptly as her eyes land on Emily sitting on the couch opposite Effy and drinking a cup of coffee. She hasn’t seen her since that night at the restaurant and feels instantly uncomfortable when Emily’s eyes run over her with a twinge of jealousy as she takes in the clothes she’s wearing; can obviously see the way Naomi’s shirt has lost a few of its buttons. “Hey.”
Emily purses her lips together in a tight smile. “Good night by the looks of it.”
Naomi feels the sting of Emily’s words as her eyes drop back down to her tattered shirt, sees anger flash in Emily’s eyes and instantly feels resentful when she realises Emily’s still trying to get a rise out of her. “Very, thanks.”
She knows they’re being childish but she isn’t sure what she’s supposed to do to put things right, doesn’t understand how Emily can be so angry at her when she’s equally to blame for their almost kiss, especially when she’s the one supposed to be in love with somebody else.
She forces a smile at Emily before slipping into the kitchen to fetch herself a glass of water and takes several large mouthfuls before Effy appears next to her. “What was that about?”
Naomi rolls her eyes out of habit more than anything else and downs the rest of her water before placing the empty cup on the table, mutters back, “No idea,” before slipping out of the kitchen and heading upstairs for a shower.
Finds herself hoping for the first time in ages that Emily will be gone by the time she comes back down.
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She wakes up to find a large suitcase sitting at the bottom of the stairs.
It sets off a wave of panic as she sees Bricker’s colourful backpack sitting next to it, doesn’t understand why they’re there. Finds Effy giving Bricker his breakfast in the kitchen and lingers against the doorframe until Effy notices her.
“What’s with the suitcase?” Naomi’s surprised when it comes out a little chocked and quickly clears her throat in hope of disguising her concern.
Effy lets out a laugh and rolls her eyes. “Relax, Naomi. I’m just going back to Bristol to visit my mum for a few days.” She fills a cup with coffee and holds it out to her, coaxing her into the kitchen. “Tony called me late last night and said she’s managed to keep herself sober for a few months now and that she really wants to see Bricker if I’ll let her.”
Naomi takes a large sip of the hot liquid and feels the relief dismounting the tension in her shoulders. Lets her eyes take in the stressed look on Effy’s face and asks the first obvious question that comes to mind. “Nervous?”
Effy’s lips twitch up into a smile. “You could say that. It’s been nearly five years since I’ve seen her, and she’s never seen me as a mum, so...”
It’s a subject that’s remained largely unspoken throughout their years of friendship, with Effy only ever offering up snippets of information here and there, but Naomi’s aware of enough to know that Effy’s parents, especially her mum, aren’t something she deals with particularly well. Knows it’s the dynamic she’s had with her family that caused Effy to act out in wild and careless ways.
Naomi sits down at the table and rolls one of Bricker’s cars back to him, watching as he starts mumbling about whatever model it is. “Do you need me to come with you?”
Effy smiles sincerely at her in response. “No, I’ll be fine, thanks. Think this is something I need to do on my own.” There’s a moment of silence before Effy’s face lights up with amusement, a chuckle escaping from her mouth when she adds, “Plus, I think it’d be a little awkward if you came since Tony said mum remembers you as the ‘pretty, but gay’ one and thinks you’re my lover.”
Naomi swallows hard on a mouthful of coffee and dramatically rolls her eyes. “Fuck’s sake. Does everyone think we’re fucking?”
Effy’s smile disappears into a smirk. “Apparently.”
Naomi laughs when Effy winks at her a second later, biting playfully at her lip in a seductive manner. “Maybe in another lifetime, Eff.”
Effy smiles as she lifts Bricker back down to the floor, teasingly adding, “You don’t know what you’re missing out on, Campbell.” and pressing a quick kiss to Naomi’s forehead.
Naomi knows Effy’s only joking around when their banter turns into flirty playfulness but she also knows that underneath it all there’s an understood love between them that’s completely mutual. And it’s only a little while later when she’s waving them off and watching as the black taxi disappears around the corner that Naomi realises just how lucky she’s been to not really be alone all these years.
Tries to remind herself that being in love isn’t an essential part of life.
Fails miserably when she thinks of Emily a moment later.
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She doesn’t expect to hear from Emily at all.
She’s already halfway through her first glass of wine when a text from her arrives out of nowhere and asks Naomi if she’d like to go out for a drink.
It leaves Naomi’s head in a mess, not sure how Emily can go from not talking to her for days to suddenly being completely friendly and wanting to spend time with her. There’s a voice in her head that sounds vaguely like Effy’s, telling her to leave it alone, but Naomi finds herself replying without much thought; inviting Emily over to the house with the promise of wine and ordering in instead of heading out into the city.
Emily looks a little awkward when Naomi opens the door to find her holding up two bottles of pinot grigio in each hand. A coy look appears on her face when Naomi raises an eyebrow at all of the wine, and she says, “Nothing says sorry quite like alcohol.” Naomi smiles despite her effort to retain some of her anger and moves aside to let Emily in, her eyes instantly trailing down to watch Emily’s hips sway.
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Naomi’s almost forgotten the reason behind why Emily’s been avoiding her by the time they’ve moved on to the third bottle, finds any discomfort between them erased completely once Emily starts bringing up all of the crazy things they did back in college.
“Remember Panda’s sleepover and how Katie got her mum high on the MDMA brownies?” She asks.
Emily clutches at her stomach as she wheezes out another laugh. “God, those hideous fucking pyjamas she made for us to wear.”
Naomi smiles sloppily, the alcohol making her feel relaxed and lazy as it buzzes through her body. “Whatever, Em. Mine had ‘sexy poo’ written on it and it clearly made me look hot enough for ‘brainy poo’ to lose her mind and trick me into another kiss.”
Emily gasps in offence as she smacks Naomi with the nearest cushion, her words slurring ever so slightly as she retaliates with, “Fuck off! I didn’t trick you. You were the one being all seductive with your ‘cider or pinot grigio, Ems’ and that... that fucking lip bitey thing you do.”
Naomi smirks back at her, nudging Emily with her elbow and says, “You mean this lip bitey thing?” Pulling at her bottom lip with her teeth and watching as Emily’s eyes fall down to watch.
Her eyes are hooded when she looks back up at Naomi, her breathing suddenly shallower than it was moments before. “Yeah, exactly that.” she replies, her voice low and husky.
Naomi feels it then, that thickness that settles between them and charging the air with some kind of electricity that makes her want to reach out and smash her lips to Emily’s own just to see if together they’ll ignite a spark.
She feels herself drawn in towards Emily’s mouth again when her tongue darts out to lick across her lips, lifts her eyes just in time to see Emily trying to turn her head away, and stopping abruptly as she lets out a muttered curse and lifts her hand up to rub at her neck.
“The fucking chain on this necklace is caught in my hair again.”
Naomi stays quiet as Emily struggles for a second, eventually pushing herself closer to Emily on the couch and knocking her hand away from her neck. “Jesus, let me do it.” Emily only pauses for a split second before she twists her body so that her back is facing Naomi.
Naomi’s cautious as she sweeps the majority of Emily’s hair over one of her shoulders, feels the air squeezing out from her lungs and getting lodged painfully in her throat as her eyes take in the soft skin she’s exposed at the nape of Emily’s neck. Finds her fingers are shaking when she finally lifts her hand up to untangle the chain, can’t stop herself from lightly dragging the back of her knuckles against the smooth skin, and feeling as Emily shivers a little at the contact.
She works carefully to untangle the chain from the fine hairs at the back of Emily’s neck, leans in closer to get a better look at what she’s doing and feels her senses rush with the overpowering scent of Emily’s perfume as the chain disentangles.
Naomi knows she should shuffle backwards, give Emily back her personal space and smile smugly at being Emily’s knight in shining armour, but instead she finds herself letting her fingertips trail slowly down the side of Emily’s neck, the skin silky beneath her touch.
It only gets worse when Emily lets out a shaky breath, her head lolling to the side and letting Naomi’s caress continue. She can’t stop herself then, from dipping her head and dragging her lips slowly across the nape of Emily’s neck, kissing as much of her skin as possible. It feels like Emily’s inviting her to touch more when she whimpers, her body twisting back round to face Naomi’s as their mouths easily find each other.
Their lips have barely touched when Emily pulls away all flushed and wide eyed, looks back at Naomi in a mixture of longing and horror, whispers, “We can’t.” before she pushes herself up off the couch, quickly colleting her bag and shoes and leaving before Naomi has a chance to call after her.
Naomi lifts her fingers up to her lips and closes her eyes at the way they tingle from where Emily’s own had been pressed against hers. Opens her eyes and reaches for the nearest bottle of alcohol, and almost lets out a frustrated cry when she sees there’s barely enough left for a single glass.
Knows that no matter how much alcohol she consumes that it won’t erase what just happened, settles instead with flopping down on the couch, and letting out a heavy, defeated sigh.
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It’s the loud and abrupt knocking on the door an hour later that startles Naomi from her light slumber. Approaches the door and holds her breath when she sees whose silhouette it is through the glass, and opens it nervously.
She finds Emily suddenly standing in front of her looking small despite her best effort to glare, her eyes pained when she pushes her way past Naomi and spins round to face her once she hears Naomi close the door behind them.
Emily lets out a breath before saying, “I just came back to say that this has to stop. Whatever this is that we’re doing here, Naomi, it has to stop now.”
Naomi sees the tears spilling out of Emily’s eyes and instantly takes a step towards her, aching to pull her into her arms and comfort her. “Em--”
Emily holds her hands up and takes a step back, wipes at her eyes before levelling Naomi with a stare. “Rachel’s a good person, Naomi, and I’m with her. I’m in a committed relationship with her and what we’re doing goes against everything I believe in.”
Naomi feels her heart slowing in her chest and mutters back a pathetic, “I know.”
“I’ve been with her for nearly two years.” Emily pauses as that heavy piece of information rings loudly between them, her eyes pleading with Naomi’s own when she continues, “So I’m asking you to stop. I’m begging you to just let it go and leave me be.” Her voice coming out as a broken whisper when she adds, “Please, Naomi.”
It hits Naomi hard, the way Emily’s plea is so desperately pained and laced with exhaustion that it snaps something inside of her, leaves her filled with an urgency she doesn’t remember ever feeling before.
She finds herself shaking her head at Emily’s words, taking another step closer, this time ignoring the distress that flashes in Emily’s eyes. Her voice thick with emotion when she says, “I can’t stop, Em.” She sees Emily’s face crumble, more tears spilling from her eyes and wishes that she didn’t have to be the reason behind her hurt again. Feels herself grow brave when Emily looks back at her with so much despair that it leaves her heart pounding loudly in her chest. “I know I’m a little late here, but I can’t just switch it off-- I know you can’t either.”
Emily’s eyes explode with rage, her voice coming out almost shrill. “A little late?!” She lets out an exasperate sigh. “Naomi, it’s seven years too fucking late!”
“You think I don’t know that?!” Naomi shouts back, unable to contain everything that she’s feeling as she steps even closer, the space remaining between them almost disappearing completely. “You think I don’t wish I could take it all back and never let you go?”
Emily laughs bitterly, her face hardening. “You can’t take it back; you made your decision, Naomi. You might not be able to switch it off, but you can damn well shut it out. I had to learn how to and now you have to do the same.”
“I can’t, Emily.” Naomi replies more forcefully, and daring to put it all out there when she reaches out to cup Emily’s face, bringing their eyes together, and whispering, “How could I ever switch off how I feel about you?” She feels Emily’s breath catching against her mouth, her thumbs brushing away stray tears from her cheeks, finally meaning each and every word when she says, “I love you.”
She feels Emily shudder, a muted sob escaping her lips as she searches Naomi’s eyes for proof that she means it this time and that she isn’t just saying it because it’s the easy option and she can.
Naomi sees it appear then in Emily's eyes a second later, obviously finding whatever she needed as confirmation, and finally sees that missing flash of adoration even as they darken over with want. She finds that it's still too much after all this time when it makes her chest tighten out of nowhere; her heart beating so rapidly she's afraid it might explode out from within her body and land messily in Emily's hands.
But, then, Emily kisses her, and that familiar sensation of drowning, of being so utterly overwhelmed by every single emotion she can feel radiating from Emily's skin changes into something else entirely. She finds herself for once in her life giving in to deep kisses, finds her hands clutching at Emily's body and pulling her closer until there isn't any space left between them; doesn't understand how being so close still doesn't feel like enough.
This is what it must have been like for her, Naomi realises, as she willingly gives herself over to the overpowering want and need she has to touch and taste as much as Emily as possible; kisses her back even harder as she draws Emily closer still.
Emily's hold tightens on her waist a second later as their kisses turn quickly from slow and deep to wildly frantic; Emily's tongue forcing into her mouth and retreating with piercing nips at her bottom lip; sending Naomi’s head spinning completely out of her control.
Naomi slides her hands from Emily's shoulders and into silky red hair, tangles her fingers between endless strands and grips tightly as Emily's lips leave her own; her hot, wet, mouth trailing off down Naomi's neck and working against her heated skin.
It makes Naomi moan, the sound escaping from her mouth effortlessly as Emily runs her tongue over her pulse point, sucking on the skin before moving up to nip her ear. It leaves her eyes heavy, the sound of blood pounding heavily in her ears, her body so hot that she's sure her blood must have liquefied into molten lava beneath Emily's melting touch.
It burns, Naomi thinks, and remembers then that Emily’s touch always has.
Naomi feels her back forcefully collide with something cool and hard, and knows through her haze that it must be the wall as Emily's hand slides up from her waist to palm roughly against her tit. Her surprise comes out as a whimper when Emily's lips kiss briefly along her collarbone before she fuses their mouths back together with a hungry kiss that leaves Naomi aching.
Emily's breathing heavily when she finally pulls back, and Naomi can see for the first time how her lips have turned a delicious shade of red; blood pooling at their surface. It makes her remember the rare occasions when she would wake up before Emily and allow herself the luxury of watching her sleep just for a few moments. How she would always have to fight away the urge to trail her fingertips delicately over Emily’s painfully obvious kiss bruised lips before she'd snap out of her illusion and slip out of bed and away from Emily in a hurry; that sickening feeling settling into her stomach and leaving her legs itching with the desire to run.
Naomi removes her hand from Emily's hair, trailing her fingertips over Emily’s face as she watches brown eyes widen at the gentle contact; knows she’s never allowed herself to do this before, touch just for the sake of touching; can’t believe how good it actually feels. When Emily’s eyes flutter closed a second later Naomi releases a shaky breath and watches intently as her pinkie finger trails slowly across Emily's rosy bottom lip, and over her top one before stilling against the dimple just beneath her mouth, finds herself completely mesmerised by every inch of Emily's face; her eyes etching each detail deep into her mind as if she hasn’t ever seen Emily before this very moment.
Can’t quite believe she’s let herself miss out on all of this over the years, and feels unbelievably stupid for fearing something so achingly beautiful. Knows she’s finally woken up from whatever dark coma she was living in back then.
Emily looks so close to breaking when she reopens her eyes with tears evident on their surface, that Naomi becomes quickly aware of just how fragile this moment between them is. Leans in and kisses Emily slowly, feeling as Emily shudders in her arms, and breathes out a choked whimper against her lips.
Naomi feels the shift between them as the control slips from Emily and into her. It's almost enough to make her legs buckle under the weight of it, but as their foreheads rest against each other, Emily's warm breath puffing softly against her lips and Emily's hand sliding up to cup her cheek, it makes her feel strangely grounded despite feeling like she could float away at any minute.
She covers Emily's hand with her own, pulls it away from her face and entwines their fingers, tugging just enough to get Emily to follow her up the stairs and into her room. Naomi sees the determination that emerges on Emily's face the moment they set foot through the door, and finds all the air leaving her lungs in a breathy moan when Emily's nimble fingers slip beneath her top and slide over the skin of her back before retreating just as quickly back to the hem, pulling the top over her head in one smooth motion and discarding it carelessly onto the floor.
As Emily’s eyes take in the sight of her, Naomi sees the glimmer of uncertainty that washes over Emily’s face and reaches out to run her fingertips up Emily’s arms in a soothing gesture, smiles gently as their eyes meet and hopes that it’s enough to dispel any hesitations Emily has. She feels the way Emily’s skin breaks out into goose-bumps beneath her touch as she leans in to brush the tips of their noses together, their mouths surging together in a tender kiss she hopes is enough to keep Emily here with her; doesn’t ever want to let her go again.
There’s a new desperation to Emily’s kiss that leaves Naomi reeling, finds herself unable to keep up with what’s happening when Emily quickly removes the rest of her clothes in a whirlwind of speed, pushing her backwards and down onto the edge of the bed, and straddling her with finesse as she crushes their lips back together, licking her way into Naomi's mouth while allowing her hands to wander over newly exposed skin.
Naomi feels herself arching into Emily's touch as knowledgeable hands skim over her breasts, tweaking roughly at already hardened nipples. It feels entirely intoxicating, when Emily pulls back and reaches down to remove her own shirt, stirs a burning within Naomi that she hasn't felt since that first time at the lake, and forces her to duck her head and cover the creamy skin of Emily's breasts with endless kisses, touching as much as she can but still finding an unsatisfied need for more.
She hears Emily release a strangled groan and instantly slides her hands up to the clasp of her bra, flicking it open with ease and removing it from her body. Emily's fingers skate to the back of her neck, holding tightly as Naomi gropes at her breasts and trails her lips across the skin of Emily's neck.
When Emily's hips grind down into her own a moment later, Naomi finds herself being torn away from Emily’s neckline and drawn back to an eager mouth. It doesn't take much of their heated kissing to leave her trembling, and Naomi knows Emily must be feeling equally as frustrated when she pushes at Naomi's shoulders and urges her further up the bed.
By the time Emily settles over her they’re both completely naked, and Naomi finds herself groaning appreciatively as their bare flesh comes into contact; Emily’s thigh slipping between her legs and grinding down just enough to leave her flushed and breathless.
Naomi feels her hands shaking as she reaches to grasp at Emily’s back, doesn’t understand how she can be feeling so much and still wanting more. Wonders briefly if it was always like this between them, but trails off when Emily’s teeth bite at her lip to bring her back to the moment.
Emily’s almost impatient by the time she moves away from Naomi’s lips, blazes a pathway of kisses down Naomi’s neck and settles her mouth upon her breasts; her teeth grazing over Naomi’s nipples before she takes each into her mouth in turn, her tongue working against them in clever strokes.
Naomi feels herself already on the edge of falling apart when Emily’s lips finally move lower; it leaves her barely able to catch her breath when Emily trails kisses down over her stomach before settling between her legs and wasting no time dipping her head down to Naomi’s cunt and licking deliberately.
She can’t stop her eyes from rolling back in her head, each stroke of Emily’s tongue against her leaves her even more of a quaking mess; her senses consumed by Emily alone. Feels like her whole body’s going up in flames with every caress Emily willingly doles out upon her.
It doesn’t take long once Emily’s settled into a rhythm of lapping at her clit while working her fingers in and out of her with deep and hard thrusts. Has Naomi moaning out Emily’s name within minutes as she comes harshly around her fingers; seeing millions of bright lights going off behind her eyes.
She releases her grip in Emily’s hair while she lets Emily slide back up her body; her breathing ragged when she pushes her head up and catches Emily’s mouth is a deep kiss, letting out a strangled moan when she tastes herself on Emily’s lips.
Naomi becomes all too aware of the thoughts rushing around inside of her head when they pull apart as Emily’s eyes settle back on hers with a mixture of longing and disbelief, and finds herself stroking her fingertips over Emily’s cheeks and down her throat until she settles on her shoulders, pushing against them as she swiftly reverses their positions.
She can’t believe how fragile Emily looks beneath her, finds her heart swelling uncontrollably when Emily’s mouth curves into a gentle smile, her hands stroking through Naomi’s hair as they meet for another kiss, slow and deep, everything between them being said without words.
Naomi feels Emily’s wetness against her leg and lets her hands wander over the soft planes of her body, marvelling at the softness but never breaking away from Emily’s unyielding kiss. She lets her hand slide down between them, her fingers instantly finding Emily’s clit and rubbing against it, forcing a hushed whimper from between Emily’s parted lips and against her own mouth.
It’s only a few seconds later, when she lifts her face away from Emily’s neck to find her eyes squeezed shut tightly, that Naomi senses something’s not quite right, knows Emily’s trying to fight against giving herself over, and knows that it’s her actions in the past that are the reasons why. Hates herself immediately for ever putting doubt into Emily’s mind.
Naomi fights against the lump in her throat and hopes tears don’t fall from her own eyes when she whispers Emily’s name, cupping her cheek as she stills her fingers within Emily’s twisting body until it forces Emily to open her eyes and look up at her.
Naomi brushes Emily’s sweaty fringe away from her forehead, whispering “It’s okay. I promise.” as she closes the space between them and kisses Emily lovingly, starting to move her fingers again only when she feels Emily respond.
Their kiss quickly grows sloppy as Emily pants and whimpers against her mouth; throwing her head back a second later and letting out a breathy cry as her body convulses and arches under Naomi’s touch.
You’re beautiful, Naomi thinks as she watches Emily come down from her high and knows that this is the moment where she really falls in love with Emily Fitch all over again.
-----
They lay tangled together in silence for a few brief moments before Emily breaks through the quiet with a wracking sob, her face buried into Naomi’s neck.
Naomi pulls her closer and holds her tightly in response, wincing a little when Emily’s grip on her tightens, her fingernails biting painfully into her skin. She soothes a hand through Emily’s hair, presses lingering kisses to her forehead until she quiets down.
It takes her by surprise when Emily unexpectedly pushes away a second later, her voice hoarse but laced with anger, mumbles, “Where the hell were you back then, Nae?” More tears falling from her eyes when she whimpers, “Why did you never come for me? I loved you. I needed you, Naomi.”
Naomi twists her body towards Emily reaching out for her as guilt settles over her, tears finally escaping from out of her own eyes. She doesn’t know what else to do except hold Emily close and whisper, “I’m so sorry, Ems.” over and over again.
She sees the pain in Emily’s eyes and kisses her through their mixed tears, pulls back slightly and murmurs against her lips, “I’m here now and I promise you that I’m not going anywhere ever again.” Feels as Emily quakes beneath, their kisses growing desperate once again.
-----
Emily breaks away from her as the shrill noise pierces through the stillness waking them abruptly, her eyes blinking rapidly as she scurries from the bed and reaches for her phone, turning her back to Naomi when she mutters a barely awake, “Hey.”
Naomi’s careful not to make too much noise, pushing herself up onto her elbows and trailing her eyes over Emily’s gloriously naked body as she listens while Emily continues talking, “Yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t call. I’m at... Jay’s. Yeah, we had some drinks and I crashed out on his couch. No, don’t worry, I’ll be home soon. Okay. Yeah, I will. Me, too. Bye.”
The look of alarm on Emily’s face when she turns back to her is enough to make Naomi’s stomach twist in on its self violently that only worsens to the state of panic when she sees Emily quickly gathering her clothes and pulling them on.
Her voice is desperate when she says, “Emily--”
“Just don’t, Naomi.” Emily replies, averting her eyes. “This never should have happened. It was a mistake. I have-- I have to leave right now.”
Naomi finds herself frozen, any words pleading Emily to stay lodged in her throat as Emily hurries from her room without so much as looking back over at her. She feels her heart shatter, breaking all over again, as a lonely silence follows the loud slam of the front door, knows that nothing will ever hurt more than watching Emily walking away from her again.
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Where I Stood - Chapter Five: Nemesis (Part One)
Where I Stood - Chapter Five: Nemesis (Part Two)
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She gets asked out by one of the teaching assistants and reluctantly agrees, thinks it’s probably for the best when Effy interrupts her sulking one evening by placing a hand on her knee with a pitying look and says, “Don’t do this to yourself again.”
Naomi feels like its karma catching up with her the moment that she walks into the restaurant with Melanie and instantly sets eyes on Emily seated at a table with Rachel.
Emily stops mid sentence at whatever she’s saying and stares over in Naomi’s direction. It draws Rachel’s attention to her and Naomi feels sick the moment Rachel smiles at her and waves them over.
“What a coincidence seeing you here. You and...” Rachel gestures at her date.
“Melanie.” Naomi extends, trying not to grind her teeth together at how uncomfortable she feels with Emily’s glare burning into her skin.
“You and Melanie must join us. We haven’t even ordered yet.”
“Babe, I’m sure they don’t want to sit with us.” Emily interjects quickly.
Rachel waves her hand dismissively. “Nonsense. You don’t mind, do you?” She smiles at them. “It’ll be fun.”
Before Naomi can even think to echo Emily’s comment Rachel waves her hand at the waiter and has them all moved to a bigger table. He gestures at the chair opposite Emily for her and Naomi realises that this is her very own version of torture, and tries not to let her eyes drift down to Emily’s cleavage as she reaches for her glass of water.
If Rachel or Melanie notice the thick awkwardness present between her and Emily she thinks they’re doing a good job of hiding it, feels it would be easier to disguise if Emily wouldn’t keep glaring at her while she fires questions at them.
“So, have you two been dating long?”
Melanie laughs and turns to Naomi with a shy smile. “No. This is our first date, actually. I’ve wanted to ask Naomi out for awhile but I’ve always lost my courage.”
Emily nods her head and takes a large mouthful of her wine. “What made you finally go for it this time, then?”
Rachel turns to Emily with a laugh and gently places her hand on top of Emily’s own. “Darling, this isn’t question hour.”
“Melanie doesn’t mind, do you? I’m just trying to get to know her.” Emily responds with a forced smile.
“It’s fine, really.” Melanie assures her before answering Emily’s question. “I guess seeing Naomi taking care of the girl who fell down and broke her ankle last week made me cave in and finally ask her. She was just so tender and caring that I knew she must be a big softie under her brash exterior.”
Naomi tries not to choke on her wine when Emily snorts quietly at the answer. Clears her throat and pierces Emily with narrowing eyes, trying to decipher the game they’re suddenly playing, but comes up short when Emily looks away.
She’s thankful when the waiter brings over their meals a second later, hopes food will do something to calm Emily’s mood. There’s no such luck though, when the questions continue throughout the meal to the extent where Naomi feels herself having to bite down hard on her lip just to stop herself from exploding at Emily in rage; feels the coppery taste of blood on her tongue after awhile and knows Emily is taking some kind of satisfaction by making this hard on her.
A wave of relief washes over her when the waiter brings over their bill after only two hours of utter hell and Naomi finds herself extending enough money to cover everyone’s cost just so she doesn’t have to sit and be integrated by Emily for a second longer.
It’s cold by the time they get outside and Naomi sees the way Emily slides her hand into Rachel’s and tugs her close, shooting Naomi a warning look.
It’s the final push against her limits.
It was the alcohol, Naomi will think later, which made her pull Melanie into her body and smash their lips together in a deep kiss, ignoring Rachel and Emily’s presence just a few feet away from them.
When she pulls back a long moment later with a final peck to Melanie’s lips she looks up to find Emily’s eyes, sees the discomfort on her face and smirks.
Emily’s lips twist into a sad frown, her face falling into a familiar painfully broken state as she looks away and when Naomi’s heart clenches agonizingly in her chest at the mere sight of it, she knows it’s been a pointless victory.
Doesn’t understand how they’ve let it get back to the stage where all they seem to do is hurt each other.
-----
She reverts back into a stage of self destructing, finds that it’s the only thing that helps her try to forget.
-----
Naomi arrives back home early one morning, feels how stiff her body is and knows she’s desperately in need of a shower to wash away the remains of her night.
“Hey, Eff, sorry I didn’t call last night. I ended up going home with some woman I met at a bar and--” Naomi stops abruptly as her eyes land on Emily sitting on the couch opposite Effy and drinking a cup of coffee. She hasn’t seen her since that night at the restaurant and feels instantly uncomfortable when Emily’s eyes run over her with a twinge of jealousy as she takes in the clothes she’s wearing; can obviously see the way Naomi’s shirt has lost a few of its buttons. “Hey.”
Emily purses her lips together in a tight smile. “Good night by the looks of it.”
Naomi feels the sting of Emily’s words as her eyes drop back down to her tattered shirt, sees anger flash in Emily’s eyes and instantly feels resentful when she realises Emily’s still trying to get a rise out of her. “Very, thanks.”
She knows they’re being childish but she isn’t sure what she’s supposed to do to put things right, doesn’t understand how Emily can be so angry at her when she’s equally to blame for their almost kiss, especially when she’s the one supposed to be in love with somebody else.
She forces a smile at Emily before slipping into the kitchen to fetch herself a glass of water and takes several large mouthfuls before Effy appears next to her. “What was that about?”
Naomi rolls her eyes out of habit more than anything else and downs the rest of her water before placing the empty cup on the table, mutters back, “No idea,” before slipping out of the kitchen and heading upstairs for a shower.
Finds herself hoping for the first time in ages that Emily will be gone by the time she comes back down.
-----
She wakes up to find a large suitcase sitting at the bottom of the stairs.
It sets off a wave of panic as she sees Bricker’s colourful backpack sitting next to it, doesn’t understand why they’re there. Finds Effy giving Bricker his breakfast in the kitchen and lingers against the doorframe until Effy notices her.
“What’s with the suitcase?” Naomi’s surprised when it comes out a little chocked and quickly clears her throat in hope of disguising her concern.
Effy lets out a laugh and rolls her eyes. “Relax, Naomi. I’m just going back to Bristol to visit my mum for a few days.” She fills a cup with coffee and holds it out to her, coaxing her into the kitchen. “Tony called me late last night and said she’s managed to keep herself sober for a few months now and that she really wants to see Bricker if I’ll let her.”
Naomi takes a large sip of the hot liquid and feels the relief dismounting the tension in her shoulders. Lets her eyes take in the stressed look on Effy’s face and asks the first obvious question that comes to mind. “Nervous?”
Effy’s lips twitch up into a smile. “You could say that. It’s been nearly five years since I’ve seen her, and she’s never seen me as a mum, so...”
It’s a subject that’s remained largely unspoken throughout their years of friendship, with Effy only ever offering up snippets of information here and there, but Naomi’s aware of enough to know that Effy’s parents, especially her mum, aren’t something she deals with particularly well. Knows it’s the dynamic she’s had with her family that caused Effy to act out in wild and careless ways.
Naomi sits down at the table and rolls one of Bricker’s cars back to him, watching as he starts mumbling about whatever model it is. “Do you need me to come with you?”
Effy smiles sincerely at her in response. “No, I’ll be fine, thanks. Think this is something I need to do on my own.” There’s a moment of silence before Effy’s face lights up with amusement, a chuckle escaping from her mouth when she adds, “Plus, I think it’d be a little awkward if you came since Tony said mum remembers you as the ‘pretty, but gay’ one and thinks you’re my lover.”
Naomi swallows hard on a mouthful of coffee and dramatically rolls her eyes. “Fuck’s sake. Does everyone think we’re fucking?”
Effy’s smile disappears into a smirk. “Apparently.”
Naomi laughs when Effy winks at her a second later, biting playfully at her lip in a seductive manner. “Maybe in another lifetime, Eff.”
Effy smiles as she lifts Bricker back down to the floor, teasingly adding, “You don’t know what you’re missing out on, Campbell.” and pressing a quick kiss to Naomi’s forehead.
Naomi knows Effy’s only joking around when their banter turns into flirty playfulness but she also knows that underneath it all there’s an understood love between them that’s completely mutual. And it’s only a little while later when she’s waving them off and watching as the black taxi disappears around the corner that Naomi realises just how lucky she’s been to not really be alone all these years.
Tries to remind herself that being in love isn’t an essential part of life.
Fails miserably when she thinks of Emily a moment later.
-----
She doesn’t expect to hear from Emily at all.
She’s already halfway through her first glass of wine when a text from her arrives out of nowhere and asks Naomi if she’d like to go out for a drink.
It leaves Naomi’s head in a mess, not sure how Emily can go from not talking to her for days to suddenly being completely friendly and wanting to spend time with her. There’s a voice in her head that sounds vaguely like Effy’s, telling her to leave it alone, but Naomi finds herself replying without much thought; inviting Emily over to the house with the promise of wine and ordering in instead of heading out into the city.
Emily looks a little awkward when Naomi opens the door to find her holding up two bottles of pinot grigio in each hand. A coy look appears on her face when Naomi raises an eyebrow at all of the wine, and she says, “Nothing says sorry quite like alcohol.” Naomi smiles despite her effort to retain some of her anger and moves aside to let Emily in, her eyes instantly trailing down to watch Emily’s hips sway.
-----
Naomi’s almost forgotten the reason behind why Emily’s been avoiding her by the time they’ve moved on to the third bottle, finds any discomfort between them erased completely once Emily starts bringing up all of the crazy things they did back in college.
“Remember Panda’s sleepover and how Katie got her mum high on the MDMA brownies?” She asks.
Emily clutches at her stomach as she wheezes out another laugh. “God, those hideous fucking pyjamas she made for us to wear.”
Naomi smiles sloppily, the alcohol making her feel relaxed and lazy as it buzzes through her body. “Whatever, Em. Mine had ‘sexy poo’ written on it and it clearly made me look hot enough for ‘brainy poo’ to lose her mind and trick me into another kiss.”
Emily gasps in offence as she smacks Naomi with the nearest cushion, her words slurring ever so slightly as she retaliates with, “Fuck off! I didn’t trick you. You were the one being all seductive with your ‘cider or pinot grigio, Ems’ and that... that fucking lip bitey thing you do.”
Naomi smirks back at her, nudging Emily with her elbow and says, “You mean this lip bitey thing?” Pulling at her bottom lip with her teeth and watching as Emily’s eyes fall down to watch.
Her eyes are hooded when she looks back up at Naomi, her breathing suddenly shallower than it was moments before. “Yeah, exactly that.” she replies, her voice low and husky.
Naomi feels it then, that thickness that settles between them and charging the air with some kind of electricity that makes her want to reach out and smash her lips to Emily’s own just to see if together they’ll ignite a spark.
She feels herself drawn in towards Emily’s mouth again when her tongue darts out to lick across her lips, lifts her eyes just in time to see Emily trying to turn her head away, and stopping abruptly as she lets out a muttered curse and lifts her hand up to rub at her neck.
“The fucking chain on this necklace is caught in my hair again.”
Naomi stays quiet as Emily struggles for a second, eventually pushing herself closer to Emily on the couch and knocking her hand away from her neck. “Jesus, let me do it.” Emily only pauses for a split second before she twists her body so that her back is facing Naomi.
Naomi’s cautious as she sweeps the majority of Emily’s hair over one of her shoulders, feels the air squeezing out from her lungs and getting lodged painfully in her throat as her eyes take in the soft skin she’s exposed at the nape of Emily’s neck. Finds her fingers are shaking when she finally lifts her hand up to untangle the chain, can’t stop herself from lightly dragging the back of her knuckles against the smooth skin, and feeling as Emily shivers a little at the contact.
She works carefully to untangle the chain from the fine hairs at the back of Emily’s neck, leans in closer to get a better look at what she’s doing and feels her senses rush with the overpowering scent of Emily’s perfume as the chain disentangles.
Naomi knows she should shuffle backwards, give Emily back her personal space and smile smugly at being Emily’s knight in shining armour, but instead she finds herself letting her fingertips trail slowly down the side of Emily’s neck, the skin silky beneath her touch.
It only gets worse when Emily lets out a shaky breath, her head lolling to the side and letting Naomi’s caress continue. She can’t stop herself then, from dipping her head and dragging her lips slowly across the nape of Emily’s neck, kissing as much of her skin as possible. It feels like Emily’s inviting her to touch more when she whimpers, her body twisting back round to face Naomi’s as their mouths easily find each other.
Their lips have barely touched when Emily pulls away all flushed and wide eyed, looks back at Naomi in a mixture of longing and horror, whispers, “We can’t.” before she pushes herself up off the couch, quickly colleting her bag and shoes and leaving before Naomi has a chance to call after her.
Naomi lifts her fingers up to her lips and closes her eyes at the way they tingle from where Emily’s own had been pressed against hers. Opens her eyes and reaches for the nearest bottle of alcohol, and almost lets out a frustrated cry when she sees there’s barely enough left for a single glass.
Knows that no matter how much alcohol she consumes that it won’t erase what just happened, settles instead with flopping down on the couch, and letting out a heavy, defeated sigh.
-----
It’s the loud and abrupt knocking on the door an hour later that startles Naomi from her light slumber. Approaches the door and holds her breath when she sees whose silhouette it is through the glass, and opens it nervously.
She finds Emily suddenly standing in front of her looking small despite her best effort to glare, her eyes pained when she pushes her way past Naomi and spins round to face her once she hears Naomi close the door behind them.
Emily lets out a breath before saying, “I just came back to say that this has to stop. Whatever this is that we’re doing here, Naomi, it has to stop now.”
Naomi sees the tears spilling out of Emily’s eyes and instantly takes a step towards her, aching to pull her into her arms and comfort her. “Em--”
Emily holds her hands up and takes a step back, wipes at her eyes before levelling Naomi with a stare. “Rachel’s a good person, Naomi, and I’m with her. I’m in a committed relationship with her and what we’re doing goes against everything I believe in.”
Naomi feels her heart slowing in her chest and mutters back a pathetic, “I know.”
“I’ve been with her for nearly two years.” Emily pauses as that heavy piece of information rings loudly between them, her eyes pleading with Naomi’s own when she continues, “So I’m asking you to stop. I’m begging you to just let it go and leave me be.” Her voice coming out as a broken whisper when she adds, “Please, Naomi.”
It hits Naomi hard, the way Emily’s plea is so desperately pained and laced with exhaustion that it snaps something inside of her, leaves her filled with an urgency she doesn’t remember ever feeling before.
She finds herself shaking her head at Emily’s words, taking another step closer, this time ignoring the distress that flashes in Emily’s eyes. Her voice thick with emotion when she says, “I can’t stop, Em.” She sees Emily’s face crumble, more tears spilling from her eyes and wishes that she didn’t have to be the reason behind her hurt again. Feels herself grow brave when Emily looks back at her with so much despair that it leaves her heart pounding loudly in her chest. “I know I’m a little late here, but I can’t just switch it off-- I know you can’t either.”
Emily’s eyes explode with rage, her voice coming out almost shrill. “A little late?!” She lets out an exasperate sigh. “Naomi, it’s seven years too fucking late!”
“You think I don’t know that?!” Naomi shouts back, unable to contain everything that she’s feeling as she steps even closer, the space remaining between them almost disappearing completely. “You think I don’t wish I could take it all back and never let you go?”
Emily laughs bitterly, her face hardening. “You can’t take it back; you made your decision, Naomi. You might not be able to switch it off, but you can damn well shut it out. I had to learn how to and now you have to do the same.”
“I can’t, Emily.” Naomi replies more forcefully, and daring to put it all out there when she reaches out to cup Emily’s face, bringing their eyes together, and whispering, “How could I ever switch off how I feel about you?” She feels Emily’s breath catching against her mouth, her thumbs brushing away stray tears from her cheeks, finally meaning each and every word when she says, “I love you.”
She feels Emily shudder, a muted sob escaping her lips as she searches Naomi’s eyes for proof that she means it this time and that she isn’t just saying it because it’s the easy option and she can.
Naomi sees it appear then in Emily's eyes a second later, obviously finding whatever she needed as confirmation, and finally sees that missing flash of adoration even as they darken over with want. She finds that it's still too much after all this time when it makes her chest tighten out of nowhere; her heart beating so rapidly she's afraid it might explode out from within her body and land messily in Emily's hands.
But, then, Emily kisses her, and that familiar sensation of drowning, of being so utterly overwhelmed by every single emotion she can feel radiating from Emily's skin changes into something else entirely. She finds herself for once in her life giving in to deep kisses, finds her hands clutching at Emily's body and pulling her closer until there isn't any space left between them; doesn't understand how being so close still doesn't feel like enough.
This is what it must have been like for her, Naomi realises, as she willingly gives herself over to the overpowering want and need she has to touch and taste as much as Emily as possible; kisses her back even harder as she draws Emily closer still.
Emily's hold tightens on her waist a second later as their kisses turn quickly from slow and deep to wildly frantic; Emily's tongue forcing into her mouth and retreating with piercing nips at her bottom lip; sending Naomi’s head spinning completely out of her control.
Naomi slides her hands from Emily's shoulders and into silky red hair, tangles her fingers between endless strands and grips tightly as Emily's lips leave her own; her hot, wet, mouth trailing off down Naomi's neck and working against her heated skin.
It makes Naomi moan, the sound escaping from her mouth effortlessly as Emily runs her tongue over her pulse point, sucking on the skin before moving up to nip her ear. It leaves her eyes heavy, the sound of blood pounding heavily in her ears, her body so hot that she's sure her blood must have liquefied into molten lava beneath Emily's melting touch.
It burns, Naomi thinks, and remembers then that Emily’s touch always has.
Naomi feels her back forcefully collide with something cool and hard, and knows through her haze that it must be the wall as Emily's hand slides up from her waist to palm roughly against her tit. Her surprise comes out as a whimper when Emily's lips kiss briefly along her collarbone before she fuses their mouths back together with a hungry kiss that leaves Naomi aching.
Emily's breathing heavily when she finally pulls back, and Naomi can see for the first time how her lips have turned a delicious shade of red; blood pooling at their surface. It makes her remember the rare occasions when she would wake up before Emily and allow herself the luxury of watching her sleep just for a few moments. How she would always have to fight away the urge to trail her fingertips delicately over Emily’s painfully obvious kiss bruised lips before she'd snap out of her illusion and slip out of bed and away from Emily in a hurry; that sickening feeling settling into her stomach and leaving her legs itching with the desire to run.
Naomi removes her hand from Emily's hair, trailing her fingertips over Emily’s face as she watches brown eyes widen at the gentle contact; knows she’s never allowed herself to do this before, touch just for the sake of touching; can’t believe how good it actually feels. When Emily’s eyes flutter closed a second later Naomi releases a shaky breath and watches intently as her pinkie finger trails slowly across Emily's rosy bottom lip, and over her top one before stilling against the dimple just beneath her mouth, finds herself completely mesmerised by every inch of Emily's face; her eyes etching each detail deep into her mind as if she hasn’t ever seen Emily before this very moment.
Can’t quite believe she’s let herself miss out on all of this over the years, and feels unbelievably stupid for fearing something so achingly beautiful. Knows she’s finally woken up from whatever dark coma she was living in back then.
Emily looks so close to breaking when she reopens her eyes with tears evident on their surface, that Naomi becomes quickly aware of just how fragile this moment between them is. Leans in and kisses Emily slowly, feeling as Emily shudders in her arms, and breathes out a choked whimper against her lips.
Naomi feels the shift between them as the control slips from Emily and into her. It's almost enough to make her legs buckle under the weight of it, but as their foreheads rest against each other, Emily's warm breath puffing softly against her lips and Emily's hand sliding up to cup her cheek, it makes her feel strangely grounded despite feeling like she could float away at any minute.
She covers Emily's hand with her own, pulls it away from her face and entwines their fingers, tugging just enough to get Emily to follow her up the stairs and into her room. Naomi sees the determination that emerges on Emily's face the moment they set foot through the door, and finds all the air leaving her lungs in a breathy moan when Emily's nimble fingers slip beneath her top and slide over the skin of her back before retreating just as quickly back to the hem, pulling the top over her head in one smooth motion and discarding it carelessly onto the floor.
As Emily’s eyes take in the sight of her, Naomi sees the glimmer of uncertainty that washes over Emily’s face and reaches out to run her fingertips up Emily’s arms in a soothing gesture, smiles gently as their eyes meet and hopes that it’s enough to dispel any hesitations Emily has. She feels the way Emily’s skin breaks out into goose-bumps beneath her touch as she leans in to brush the tips of their noses together, their mouths surging together in a tender kiss she hopes is enough to keep Emily here with her; doesn’t ever want to let her go again.
There’s a new desperation to Emily’s kiss that leaves Naomi reeling, finds herself unable to keep up with what’s happening when Emily quickly removes the rest of her clothes in a whirlwind of speed, pushing her backwards and down onto the edge of the bed, and straddling her with finesse as she crushes their lips back together, licking her way into Naomi's mouth while allowing her hands to wander over newly exposed skin.
Naomi feels herself arching into Emily's touch as knowledgeable hands skim over her breasts, tweaking roughly at already hardened nipples. It feels entirely intoxicating, when Emily pulls back and reaches down to remove her own shirt, stirs a burning within Naomi that she hasn't felt since that first time at the lake, and forces her to duck her head and cover the creamy skin of Emily's breasts with endless kisses, touching as much as she can but still finding an unsatisfied need for more.
She hears Emily release a strangled groan and instantly slides her hands up to the clasp of her bra, flicking it open with ease and removing it from her body. Emily's fingers skate to the back of her neck, holding tightly as Naomi gropes at her breasts and trails her lips across the skin of Emily's neck.
When Emily's hips grind down into her own a moment later, Naomi finds herself being torn away from Emily’s neckline and drawn back to an eager mouth. It doesn't take much of their heated kissing to leave her trembling, and Naomi knows Emily must be feeling equally as frustrated when she pushes at Naomi's shoulders and urges her further up the bed.
By the time Emily settles over her they’re both completely naked, and Naomi finds herself groaning appreciatively as their bare flesh comes into contact; Emily’s thigh slipping between her legs and grinding down just enough to leave her flushed and breathless.
Naomi feels her hands shaking as she reaches to grasp at Emily’s back, doesn’t understand how she can be feeling so much and still wanting more. Wonders briefly if it was always like this between them, but trails off when Emily’s teeth bite at her lip to bring her back to the moment.
Emily’s almost impatient by the time she moves away from Naomi’s lips, blazes a pathway of kisses down Naomi’s neck and settles her mouth upon her breasts; her teeth grazing over Naomi’s nipples before she takes each into her mouth in turn, her tongue working against them in clever strokes.
Naomi feels herself already on the edge of falling apart when Emily’s lips finally move lower; it leaves her barely able to catch her breath when Emily trails kisses down over her stomach before settling between her legs and wasting no time dipping her head down to Naomi’s cunt and licking deliberately.
She can’t stop her eyes from rolling back in her head, each stroke of Emily’s tongue against her leaves her even more of a quaking mess; her senses consumed by Emily alone. Feels like her whole body’s going up in flames with every caress Emily willingly doles out upon her.
It doesn’t take long once Emily’s settled into a rhythm of lapping at her clit while working her fingers in and out of her with deep and hard thrusts. Has Naomi moaning out Emily’s name within minutes as she comes harshly around her fingers; seeing millions of bright lights going off behind her eyes.
She releases her grip in Emily’s hair while she lets Emily slide back up her body; her breathing ragged when she pushes her head up and catches Emily’s mouth is a deep kiss, letting out a strangled moan when she tastes herself on Emily’s lips.
Naomi becomes all too aware of the thoughts rushing around inside of her head when they pull apart as Emily’s eyes settle back on hers with a mixture of longing and disbelief, and finds herself stroking her fingertips over Emily’s cheeks and down her throat until she settles on her shoulders, pushing against them as she swiftly reverses their positions.
She can’t believe how fragile Emily looks beneath her, finds her heart swelling uncontrollably when Emily’s mouth curves into a gentle smile, her hands stroking through Naomi’s hair as they meet for another kiss, slow and deep, everything between them being said without words.
Naomi feels Emily’s wetness against her leg and lets her hands wander over the soft planes of her body, marvelling at the softness but never breaking away from Emily’s unyielding kiss. She lets her hand slide down between them, her fingers instantly finding Emily’s clit and rubbing against it, forcing a hushed whimper from between Emily’s parted lips and against her own mouth.
It’s only a few seconds later, when she lifts her face away from Emily’s neck to find her eyes squeezed shut tightly, that Naomi senses something’s not quite right, knows Emily’s trying to fight against giving herself over, and knows that it’s her actions in the past that are the reasons why. Hates herself immediately for ever putting doubt into Emily’s mind.
Naomi fights against the lump in her throat and hopes tears don’t fall from her own eyes when she whispers Emily’s name, cupping her cheek as she stills her fingers within Emily’s twisting body until it forces Emily to open her eyes and look up at her.
Naomi brushes Emily’s sweaty fringe away from her forehead, whispering “It’s okay. I promise.” as she closes the space between them and kisses Emily lovingly, starting to move her fingers again only when she feels Emily respond.
Their kiss quickly grows sloppy as Emily pants and whimpers against her mouth; throwing her head back a second later and letting out a breathy cry as her body convulses and arches under Naomi’s touch.
You’re beautiful, Naomi thinks as she watches Emily come down from her high and knows that this is the moment where she really falls in love with Emily Fitch all over again.
-----
They lay tangled together in silence for a few brief moments before Emily breaks through the quiet with a wracking sob, her face buried into Naomi’s neck.
Naomi pulls her closer and holds her tightly in response, wincing a little when Emily’s grip on her tightens, her fingernails biting painfully into her skin. She soothes a hand through Emily’s hair, presses lingering kisses to her forehead until she quiets down.
It takes her by surprise when Emily unexpectedly pushes away a second later, her voice hoarse but laced with anger, mumbles, “Where the hell were you back then, Nae?” More tears falling from her eyes when she whimpers, “Why did you never come for me? I loved you. I needed you, Naomi.”
Naomi twists her body towards Emily reaching out for her as guilt settles over her, tears finally escaping from out of her own eyes. She doesn’t know what else to do except hold Emily close and whisper, “I’m so sorry, Ems.” over and over again.
She sees the pain in Emily’s eyes and kisses her through their mixed tears, pulls back slightly and murmurs against her lips, “I’m here now and I promise you that I’m not going anywhere ever again.” Feels as Emily quakes beneath, their kisses growing desperate once again.
-----
Emily breaks away from her as the shrill noise pierces through the stillness waking them abruptly, her eyes blinking rapidly as she scurries from the bed and reaches for her phone, turning her back to Naomi when she mutters a barely awake, “Hey.”
Naomi’s careful not to make too much noise, pushing herself up onto her elbows and trailing her eyes over Emily’s gloriously naked body as she listens while Emily continues talking, “Yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t call. I’m at... Jay’s. Yeah, we had some drinks and I crashed out on his couch. No, don’t worry, I’ll be home soon. Okay. Yeah, I will. Me, too. Bye.”
The look of alarm on Emily’s face when she turns back to her is enough to make Naomi’s stomach twist in on its self violently that only worsens to the state of panic when she sees Emily quickly gathering her clothes and pulling them on.
Her voice is desperate when she says, “Emily--”
“Just don’t, Naomi.” Emily replies, averting her eyes. “This never should have happened. It was a mistake. I have-- I have to leave right now.”
Naomi finds herself frozen, any words pleading Emily to stay lodged in her throat as Emily hurries from her room without so much as looking back over at her. She feels her heart shatter, breaking all over again, as a lonely silence follows the loud slam of the front door, knows that nothing will ever hurt more than watching Emily walking away from her again.
-----
Where I Stood - Chapter Five: Nemesis (Part One)
Where I Stood - Chapter Five: Nemesis (Part Two)