[Fic] Kokoro no bodyguard - Chapter 21
Title: Kokoro no Bodyguard
Author: theblackheat
Pairing(s): Akanishi/Kamenashi
Rating: later NC-17
Genre: Historical, Fantasy, Romantic, Drama, AU
Beta by: witchann2 helping me out <3
K-chan big thanks for giving me this beautiful idea that can't let me sleep :P XD
Disclaimer: I don't own the guys only the plot.
Summary: “Kamenashi Kazuya, You will abandon everything from now on, your ancestors, your possession, your rights and your life to serve your new daimyou(1) Akanishi Jin, from Akanishi clan until your last heartbeat?” Kame raised his gaze up from the floor in all submission to the tall and majestic young man in front of him in the deep purple sokutai(2) made of the finest silk. His dark long hair was held up and hid under a black kanmuri(3) like the aristocrats wear it and making his cheekbones more visible. It caused the young man hold his breath for a short time when those deep brown eyes fall on him and pinned him to the ground. The samurai gulped hardly and breathed out the words before he bent down and kissed his lord’s sword.
“On my oath”
Warning: Despit this is a historical fanfic, most of the names/places are only figment of my imagination! Character's death! (but I don't tell whose ;P)
Author Note: (1) lord (2) is complex attire only worn by courtiers, aristocrats and the emperor at the court in Japan. Part of a sokutai are the shaku, a flat ritual baton or sceptre (3) and a hat called kanmuri
Prologue // Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7 // Chapter 8 // Chapter 9 // Chapter 10 // Chapter 11 // Chapter 12 // Chapter 13 // Chapter 14 // Chapter 15 // Chapter 16 // Chapter 17 // Chapter 18 // Chapter 19 // Chapter 20
It took pretty long gomene~ m(;_ _;)m
Update:
- Chapter 21 -
“Maruyama-san, what a great surprise!” Hinoe greeted the older man politely bowing in the direction from where the man’s voice came. It was still morning, quite cold, but sunny second morning of the New Year. People around Takamatsu made their visit to the Shinto temple, which was located high up making difficult for some of them to climb all the stairs. But as the New Year was such an important event for the habitants, old and young gathered together and made the way up to the holy place paying their respect to the Gods.
Hinoe took her son and the young girl to whom she has given a shelter in the past few years and they set off to make their duty and pray before the crowd would overflow the temple. After Hanako overheard them on the other day, the woman got another heartbroken under her roof. The girl became less talkative and avoided Kazuya as much as it was possible while living together. Hinoe thought that a nice walk to the temple would loosen up the tense atmosphere, which became a roommate as well in the old house. She didn’t expect meeting Maruyama at such an early hour, but the shop owner seemed to get up early enough to prink himself into his finest outfit and wait for the woman’s appearance. Like showing his wealth could bring Hinoe to see him differently. At least more than an old acquaintance.
“Hinoe-san, Happy New Year!” the grocer said with a wide smile on his face - like those eyes found invaluable merchandise - as he approached the small group.
Kazuya didn’t see that smile for a while. Probably, he hasn’t seen that creepy smile at all. After the young samurai stepped to the island and found his mother, he visited the old fox, who sent the report to Kamenashi-san about Kazuya’s lucky arriving. They didn’t search for the company of Maruyama-san, not more than it was needed, but the old man always found some excuses to have a visit by them. He kept an eye on the young guard while his other eye was ogling Kazuya’s mother. It was obvious how much the old Maruyama was into Hinoe. Even the blind woman was able to notice and tried to avoid any opportunity to stay alone with the old geezer, who was head over heels in love with the samurai’s mother.
“I’m so happy to meet you, Hinoe-san and your family. I see that your son is blessed with good health too,” Maruyama talked on a silky voice overdoing the character of an old and close friend.
“We wish you happy New Year too, Maruyama-san,” the woman used her politest manners and greeted the man, while Kazuya and Hanako did the same bowing calmly. “We were just on the way to the temple to pray.”
“What a great time I have chosen to do the same, right? Would you mind me to join you on this perfect day? I would have visited you anyway, because I have something for you,” the old man cleared his throat when Hinoe folded her arms tighter into the young man’s next to her. “I mean for… for your son. I got a letter from my old friend, Kamenashi-san. Actually it is not for me, it’s for Kazuya-kun.”
“Oh, for me?” the words slipped out of the young samurai’s mouth in surprise. Not as if his father hasn’t sent a letter for him so far. Considering the fact that he was staying with his mother more than three months by now, he should have expected something like that. Not like he could avoid his main duty for long. Kamenashi-san must have written this letter to ask about the date of his son’s return. As much as Kazuya knew the old man such a polite question meant more than fatherly care. It was an indirect request to return back in a short time, which must have been wrapped into nice words. He knew his father also wanted his mother to be in good hands, but to do the samurai’s duty was always more important.
“That’s a great surprise! We can’t wait to have some news about him. We know each other for a long time, Maruyama-san, don’t you think that my son has grown in a handsome adult man?” though Hinoe smiled kindly, she gave a hint of her disapproval referring to the address of her son. That old geezer was not a part of her family and behaving like one on the public always fed her dislike towards the man.
“Ah, un… that’s right. The young Kamenashi became a handsome young man and a great samurai too. I wish you could see him with your own eyes, Hinoe-san.”
Hinoe bowed again with that perfect smile on her lips. Even if she would die to have a look at her son, she didn’t show any sign of sadness over it. As a mother she knew better than using her eyes that Kazuya became a great man as she always wished. She couldn’t give him everything that a young boy needed, but a great man as Kamenashi-san could. She was sure she made a good choice back then, even when she felt insecure about it a few times along the years. She believed in it and her son found the way back to her.
“It’s awfully nice of you, Maruyama-san. Let’s go and pray to the Gods together. After that we would glad to have you for a lunch by us,” she said nicely and took Kazuya’s arm to steady her steps. She was a strong willed woman and something like that won’t break her. She was capable of handling such unwanted gallants and the loss of her eyes. She can face everything until Kazuya is by her side and loves her. Although she knew her son had more important duties in his life. Maybe he was already ordered back because of them. Anyway, she was strong and as a strong mother she will take it and won’t break into tears making the life of her son more difficult.
A few hours later Kazuya found himself sitting in the company of the creepy smiling man having lunch. While everyone was busy with picking up the delicious bits, his stomach was filled with the heavy feelings, which took over him since they met the man at the temple. He couldn’t eat nor chat with them. As in any other stressful situation he just turned into a dumb statue with trembling chopsticks in his hand until his mother’s voice caught him on the spot.
“How is the fish, my sunshine?”
“Ah, un… it’s… fine,” he mumbled caught on the spot.
“You have barely touched it, young man,” Maruyama-san pointed it out.
“It’s delicious, just… I’m not that hungry yet.”
“If the letter makes you worry, than I’m sure Maruyama-san can give it to you to have a look at it right now. Am I right, Maruyama-san?” his mother tried to calm Kazuya’s nerves.
The old shop keeper looked at the pale young man and then at his mother surprised. The small roll of paper made him curious when he got it together with a short letter from Kamenashi-san. Now the samurai’s behavior increased that curiosity even more. His fingers were itching to grab it and tear the stamp on it to have a look at the inside. There was something important, if the young man was that worried, wasn’t it? If the young Kamenashi will disappear with it, he can’t find it out what was that. There can also be worthy information inside. He has to get them… somehow.
“Oh. Well,… I think… “ Maruyama started slowly, but Hinoe let no space for him to back off. “In this case… we can make an exception, right?” he let out the breath he was holding and his right hand disappeared behind the rim of his fancy kimono to pull out the letter and he gave it to the young man with a forced smile.
“Thank you, Maruyama-san!” Kazuya cleared his throat and took the small roll with shaky hands. His eyes were on it, but there was no sign what the content was. It could have been anything. Even an official letter from the guards that he was kicked out, or he earned some punishment for the long time he was away from his duty. No, that couldn’t be, because the son of the daimyou gave him permission personally. Well, then what? His heartbeat sped up crazily and his palms started to sweat. He was totally lost in his thought when his mother broke the silence.
“If you feel, you can read it through alone, my son. Just go into your room, we won’t disturb you.”
“Un, thank you. If you would excuse me,” he mumbled and left the room still confused causing the old shop keeper a bitter taste of disappointment.
Kazuya entered his four tatami room and took the small table, which was placed next to the wall. He took a seat in the middle of the room and put the paper roll onto the wooden furniture. He broke the small wax stamp and rolled out the paper carefully. As he did so, the inside of the letter came to view and another roll paper appeared which was only tied with one thin ribbon on each side. For a few minutes the young man only watched the second letter with pounding heart and wide eyes. He was right with the guards and everything eventually, wasn’t he?
The young samurai took a deep breath and decided to read the letter from his father first. His eyes recognized the familiar kanjis on the bottom in the end of the letter for the first sight, so he was sure the letter which covered the other was from Kamenashi-san. He skimmed the rows of black characters written with high care. There were only some lines about how he was missed and that his old man wants to see him again. Then as it was expected the nice composed request for his return.
So, there was nothing about punishment or any kind of information about the army of the daimyou. That was some kind of satisfaction at least. He was almost done with the reading when he got to the last row starting on the top and heading to the bottom of the paper.
“I attached the letter of young Akanishi-san, who wants you to be back soon as much as your old father. Looking forward to your answer. You can give it to Maruyama who will care about it.
Kamenashi Naosuke”
‘Young Akanishi’? So the other letter is from the heir. Akanishi wants him back too? His heartbeat sped up again as he reached for the small roll with shaky hands. He was afraid from reading it, as if there was the sentence of his death inside. Who knows, maybe there was. Anyway, why did the heir trouble himself with writing to Kazuya? But on the other hand, his father didn’t write anything concerning to that. Then what?
His fingers moved slowly as he pulled the thin ribbons making them untied. After that he put it onto the table and rolled it off with one hand while the other kept the letter in front of him. His heart skipped a beat as the characters came to his view with Jin’s kanji on the end. Then Kazuya took another deep breath and started to read the lines slowly and carefully spending more attention for this than to the other letter from his father.
“To Kamenashi Kazuya
It’s been a while you has left the castle. I hope your mother is fine and you can return back soon. I think I was strict to you last time, but that was only because of the circumstances. I guess I misunderstood you and a lot of things. My behavior must have caused you more trouble, which just added to your headache. I regretted it pretty much. I want to talk with you about it and apologize. Can I hope it will be anytime soon? We need you here so badly. You can return anytime.
I’m waiting you back.
Jin”
I’m waiting you back? Nothing like: I order you back right now. And only Jin??? Where is the Akanishi Jin, the son of the daimyou, lord of the whole Hyougo prefecture? The lord of a dangerous army who only has to sign with his hand and Kazuya ends on his own harakiri ceremony instead of his genpuku. Jin is waiting him back, right? An indescribable feeling spread through his body making the young man light headed. He had to reread that few lines with pounding heart. Was it possible Jin wanted him back? Well, the heir wrote ‘WE need you so badly’ not ‘I need you so badly’, but somehow for Kazuya it was almost the same. The WE contained Akanishi too, didn’t it?
The longer he kept reading it the more his heart ached. He wanted to go back so badly right know, that he started to think about how he could sneak out without being noticed. It was crazy, he was crazy. Takeda wasn’t right about the distance and time. Right now, Kazuya felt he got deeper in love with Akanishi Jin with every day he has spent away from the castle. It’s just crazy. He got crazy.
With a heavy sigh he leant above the table and supported his head on his elbows hiding his face between his palms. It is insane. He has to get himself together and not behave like a stupid teenager falling in love at the first time. Duties are on the first spot. Duties like to take care about his blind mother, guard the daimyou and his family, be a good son of Kamenashi-san who gave him name and background. He can’t just throw everything away. He was a samurai and like that he knew those duties are more important than anything else. Until he met the son of the daimyou he was good with it, but Jin managed to make everything upside down.
With a deep sigh he said on a low voice “What should I do now?”
“Kazuya?” his mother called out his name softly and the sliding door was pushed open in the next minute. Hinoe entered the room and closed the door behind her. “Are you alright, my dear? I was worried and came to check on you. What was in the letter? Something happened, am I right?”
The young man looked at his mother, who stepped next to him and crouched down reaching out with her hands. Kazuya let himself being pulled into the embrace and threw his arms around the slim figure. Even if he was stronger and taller than his mother, emotionally he was quite weak comparing to Hinoe, who was as strong as a bastion of Himeji castle. He needed to take some courage from this woman; he wanted to get stronger and make his mother proud of. He promised he will be stronger.
“Is it that bad? What had happened, dear?” the young man leant back a little and turned his head to the side.
“No. Nothing bad happened.”
“It’s alright, my sunshine. You are not alone, we support you. Just tell me what do you want to do and I will help you.”
“I think I should go back.”
“Did Kamenashi-san write you have to go back? Or the guards?”
“No, I don’t have to go back, but that’s my duty. I should go back soon,” the young man said on low voice.
“That’s why you are so sad? Do you want to stay? Or do you want to go back? What does your heart want?”
“My heart? My heart is not among the duties I have, my mother.”
“You are wrong, young man. Your heart is the main duty of yours,” Hinoe took her son’s face between her palms calling for full attention. When she continued her voice was more sincere than ever. “If your heart is against what you are doing you won’t be able to do it successfully. You won’t be happy and it will eat you up inside. Listen to your heart. It will tell you what you should do, Kazuya. Don’t back off and believe in yourself. You are strong and you are my son, a great young man.”
“Thank you, mother. I know that I’m not that strong right now as you think, but I promise I will be.”
“I know, I know, my sunshine,” she caressed the samurai’s cheeks tenderly. “And what does your heart tell you?”
“That… I should go back. I want to go back. Forgive me, mother.”
“Oh, hush! It’s alright,” she knew it; she so knew that this will come one day. But outside she didn’t show any disappointment. Her son’s happiness is her most important duty as a mother even if she has to say goodbye again. Even if it is going to tear her heart apart and steal her strength. She will do it. She will do it for Kazuya.
“You know that you can leave anytime. I will be fine.”
“No! No, not like that!” the young man pulled out of the motherly embrace and shook his head. “I won’t leave you again mother. I… I will… I don’t know, but I will think out something. I won’t let you here alone.”
“I’m not alone, Kazuya.”
“My heart says no. So there is no place for resistance,” the samurai told sincerely filled with determination. Hinoe chuckled and made Kazuya also smile. So, there was no resistance anymore and the young guard’s heart lost a heavy weight which has pressed on him till now making him hard to breathe.
They returned back to their guest after that and Kazuya told Maruyama-san that he will write an answer soon. The old man promised he will send the letter to Kamenashi-san with the next ship after he got it. The trade of the merchandise made correspondence easier, so as a good trade man he had the best connections to arrange it.
That was pretty useful, because Kazuya exchanged a few letters with his father about his return. Actually, the return itself was not that difficult, but Kazuya wanted to take his mother too and of course Hanako, she was almost like a niece to him by the time. After he was able to make Hinoe agree to it, he had to plan every single thing. When they celebrated his genpuku, he got the letter from Kamenashi-san that he was supporting his son and will arrange some place for the two women. Hinoe insisted on not selling the house. If not for her son, than for Hanako it could be a nice home in the future. She was not that sure how she can handle a new place, new people around. In the worst case she can move back to Takamatsu, but as long as her son needs her she is going to support Kazuya with everything she can do, even moving to a different town.
***
Inside Himeji Jin was sitting behind his huge table and behind the pile of papers, which amount increased from day to day. He was working hard as always, but his thoughts always went around his guard, and when Kazuya will return finally. He even pulled himself out of the duty to visit the emperor at New Year. His mother and the kids sailed away before New Year’s Eve, but he stayed finding some excuse. But actually he was afraid that if he leaves with his brothers and sisters, he misses the chance to welcome his young guard back. He promised he will wait and he wanted to keep that promise.
Even then when his mother insisted to take him too, he told Hiyori not to worry and promised that he will visit his father and the emperor after he finished his ‘oh so important’ tasks which can’t wait and had to be done. The daimyou family left the castle with a lot of guards and servants leaving Jin alone. The huge building felt empty without them and made the heir a little sad. Days passed away without any news from Kazuya. Two weeks later his family was back and his mother got more worried than before seeing his son sinking into the depression.
The young man buried himself inside his study room and didn’t show up daytimes. After Kamenashi-san sent a letter to him, that Kazuya is coming back soon, which would be in the early spring as they can arrange everything with the moving, Jin’s mood got brighter, but he still barricaded himself into his room for the most of the time.
“There are you again, onii-chan!” the cheerful voice came from the doorway where one of Jin’s sisters stood pouting slightly. She was the third child in the row, who was the most boyish and rebellious from the two girls. Maybe more than all the others together. After Jin arrived, he spent some time with his brothers and sisters too and built up the relationship between siblings that he couldn’t do during the years he has spent away.
Even so all of them looked up to the heir and obeyed like they would obey the daimyou. Somehow his second sister was the one Jin could get the closest. Maybe because she reminded the heir himself, when he was young and had to obey studying hard to became an heir and the next daimyou after his father.
“Youko, how come you are here again? There is no one else you can drive his or her nuts?”
“I just care about your health,” she came closer entering the room both of her hands on her hips, like a mother who is ready to lecture her kid. “If I wouldn’t come up to you and take you to a walk now, then you would grow together with your table like an old man. You look older with every day already, O-Jin-chan!”
“I pray every night before going to bed, that somewhere in this huge island there was a man born for you, who will marry you and I can get rid of your big mouth,” he poke back making the fourteen years old cheeks turn into red.
“Haha! You think there is a man who I would obey? Except father who is my family, so it doesn’t count. I won’t marry ever. Men are all pigs and I don’t like pigs. You can’t rid of me O-Jin-chan. Come and have a walk with me, the weather is nicer today.”
Jin sighed and checked the view from his window. It was already warmer, but only the first few springy days so far. How many days are till the real spring? And how long does it take for Kazuya to return? The loss of his young and beautiful guard taught him a lesson of patience; that was sure. Even Youko’s teasing jokes couldn’t make him pissed off as before. Back then he would have yelled and fight with that big mouth, but now it made him sober up from his numbness. Yes, his sister made a good job, but not with the walks, rather with his psychical state that received a few kicks from time to time.
“Alright, let’s go to the garden. I rather get over it and with that I can get you out of my back.”
“See, you can’t tell me I don’t care about your health. I do climb up here and fight with you to have short walk with me. Am I a caring little sister or not?”
“You are, Yuoko, though an annoying one,” Jin mumbled the last part mostly for himself while they left his room. He felt tired and his head was dizzy from the bunch of thoughts which tortured it. A nice walk and some chilly air could help after all.
Chapter 22 >>>
Author: theblackheat
Pairing(s): Akanishi/Kamenashi
Rating: later NC-17
Genre: Historical, Fantasy, Romantic, Drama, AU
Beta by: witchann2 helping me out <3
K-chan big thanks for giving me this beautiful idea that can't let me sleep :P XD
Disclaimer: I don't own the guys only the plot.
Summary: “Kamenashi Kazuya, You will abandon everything from now on, your ancestors, your possession, your rights and your life to serve your new daimyou(1) Akanishi Jin, from Akanishi clan until your last heartbeat?” Kame raised his gaze up from the floor in all submission to the tall and majestic young man in front of him in the deep purple sokutai(2) made of the finest silk. His dark long hair was held up and hid under a black kanmuri(3) like the aristocrats wear it and making his cheekbones more visible. It caused the young man hold his breath for a short time when those deep brown eyes fall on him and pinned him to the ground. The samurai gulped hardly and breathed out the words before he bent down and kissed his lord’s sword.
“On my oath”
Warning: Despit this is a historical fanfic, most of the names/places are only figment of my imagination! Character's death! (but I don't tell whose ;P)
Author Note: (1) lord (2) is complex attire only worn by courtiers, aristocrats and the emperor at the court in Japan. Part of a sokutai are the shaku, a flat ritual baton or sceptre (3) and a hat called kanmuri
Prologue // Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7 // Chapter 8 // Chapter 9 // Chapter 10 // Chapter 11 // Chapter 12 // Chapter 13 // Chapter 14 // Chapter 15 // Chapter 16 // Chapter 17 // Chapter 18 // Chapter 19 // Chapter 20
It took pretty long gomene~ m(;_ _;)m
Update:
- Chapter 21 -
“Maruyama-san, what a great surprise!” Hinoe greeted the older man politely bowing in the direction from where the man’s voice came. It was still morning, quite cold, but sunny second morning of the New Year. People around Takamatsu made their visit to the Shinto temple, which was located high up making difficult for some of them to climb all the stairs. But as the New Year was such an important event for the habitants, old and young gathered together and made the way up to the holy place paying their respect to the Gods.
Hinoe took her son and the young girl to whom she has given a shelter in the past few years and they set off to make their duty and pray before the crowd would overflow the temple. After Hanako overheard them on the other day, the woman got another heartbroken under her roof. The girl became less talkative and avoided Kazuya as much as it was possible while living together. Hinoe thought that a nice walk to the temple would loosen up the tense atmosphere, which became a roommate as well in the old house. She didn’t expect meeting Maruyama at such an early hour, but the shop owner seemed to get up early enough to prink himself into his finest outfit and wait for the woman’s appearance. Like showing his wealth could bring Hinoe to see him differently. At least more than an old acquaintance.
“Hinoe-san, Happy New Year!” the grocer said with a wide smile on his face - like those eyes found invaluable merchandise - as he approached the small group.
Kazuya didn’t see that smile for a while. Probably, he hasn’t seen that creepy smile at all. After the young samurai stepped to the island and found his mother, he visited the old fox, who sent the report to Kamenashi-san about Kazuya’s lucky arriving. They didn’t search for the company of Maruyama-san, not more than it was needed, but the old man always found some excuses to have a visit by them. He kept an eye on the young guard while his other eye was ogling Kazuya’s mother. It was obvious how much the old Maruyama was into Hinoe. Even the blind woman was able to notice and tried to avoid any opportunity to stay alone with the old geezer, who was head over heels in love with the samurai’s mother.
“I’m so happy to meet you, Hinoe-san and your family. I see that your son is blessed with good health too,” Maruyama talked on a silky voice overdoing the character of an old and close friend.
“We wish you happy New Year too, Maruyama-san,” the woman used her politest manners and greeted the man, while Kazuya and Hanako did the same bowing calmly. “We were just on the way to the temple to pray.”
“What a great time I have chosen to do the same, right? Would you mind me to join you on this perfect day? I would have visited you anyway, because I have something for you,” the old man cleared his throat when Hinoe folded her arms tighter into the young man’s next to her. “I mean for… for your son. I got a letter from my old friend, Kamenashi-san. Actually it is not for me, it’s for Kazuya-kun.”
“Oh, for me?” the words slipped out of the young samurai’s mouth in surprise. Not as if his father hasn’t sent a letter for him so far. Considering the fact that he was staying with his mother more than three months by now, he should have expected something like that. Not like he could avoid his main duty for long. Kamenashi-san must have written this letter to ask about the date of his son’s return. As much as Kazuya knew the old man such a polite question meant more than fatherly care. It was an indirect request to return back in a short time, which must have been wrapped into nice words. He knew his father also wanted his mother to be in good hands, but to do the samurai’s duty was always more important.
“That’s a great surprise! We can’t wait to have some news about him. We know each other for a long time, Maruyama-san, don’t you think that my son has grown in a handsome adult man?” though Hinoe smiled kindly, she gave a hint of her disapproval referring to the address of her son. That old geezer was not a part of her family and behaving like one on the public always fed her dislike towards the man.
“Ah, un… that’s right. The young Kamenashi became a handsome young man and a great samurai too. I wish you could see him with your own eyes, Hinoe-san.”
Hinoe bowed again with that perfect smile on her lips. Even if she would die to have a look at her son, she didn’t show any sign of sadness over it. As a mother she knew better than using her eyes that Kazuya became a great man as she always wished. She couldn’t give him everything that a young boy needed, but a great man as Kamenashi-san could. She was sure she made a good choice back then, even when she felt insecure about it a few times along the years. She believed in it and her son found the way back to her.
“It’s awfully nice of you, Maruyama-san. Let’s go and pray to the Gods together. After that we would glad to have you for a lunch by us,” she said nicely and took Kazuya’s arm to steady her steps. She was a strong willed woman and something like that won’t break her. She was capable of handling such unwanted gallants and the loss of her eyes. She can face everything until Kazuya is by her side and loves her. Although she knew her son had more important duties in his life. Maybe he was already ordered back because of them. Anyway, she was strong and as a strong mother she will take it and won’t break into tears making the life of her son more difficult.
A few hours later Kazuya found himself sitting in the company of the creepy smiling man having lunch. While everyone was busy with picking up the delicious bits, his stomach was filled with the heavy feelings, which took over him since they met the man at the temple. He couldn’t eat nor chat with them. As in any other stressful situation he just turned into a dumb statue with trembling chopsticks in his hand until his mother’s voice caught him on the spot.
“How is the fish, my sunshine?”
“Ah, un… it’s… fine,” he mumbled caught on the spot.
“You have barely touched it, young man,” Maruyama-san pointed it out.
“It’s delicious, just… I’m not that hungry yet.”
“If the letter makes you worry, than I’m sure Maruyama-san can give it to you to have a look at it right now. Am I right, Maruyama-san?” his mother tried to calm Kazuya’s nerves.
The old shop keeper looked at the pale young man and then at his mother surprised. The small roll of paper made him curious when he got it together with a short letter from Kamenashi-san. Now the samurai’s behavior increased that curiosity even more. His fingers were itching to grab it and tear the stamp on it to have a look at the inside. There was something important, if the young man was that worried, wasn’t it? If the young Kamenashi will disappear with it, he can’t find it out what was that. There can also be worthy information inside. He has to get them… somehow.
“Oh. Well,… I think… “ Maruyama started slowly, but Hinoe let no space for him to back off. “In this case… we can make an exception, right?” he let out the breath he was holding and his right hand disappeared behind the rim of his fancy kimono to pull out the letter and he gave it to the young man with a forced smile.
“Thank you, Maruyama-san!” Kazuya cleared his throat and took the small roll with shaky hands. His eyes were on it, but there was no sign what the content was. It could have been anything. Even an official letter from the guards that he was kicked out, or he earned some punishment for the long time he was away from his duty. No, that couldn’t be, because the son of the daimyou gave him permission personally. Well, then what? His heartbeat sped up crazily and his palms started to sweat. He was totally lost in his thought when his mother broke the silence.
“If you feel, you can read it through alone, my son. Just go into your room, we won’t disturb you.”
“Un, thank you. If you would excuse me,” he mumbled and left the room still confused causing the old shop keeper a bitter taste of disappointment.
Kazuya entered his four tatami room and took the small table, which was placed next to the wall. He took a seat in the middle of the room and put the paper roll onto the wooden furniture. He broke the small wax stamp and rolled out the paper carefully. As he did so, the inside of the letter came to view and another roll paper appeared which was only tied with one thin ribbon on each side. For a few minutes the young man only watched the second letter with pounding heart and wide eyes. He was right with the guards and everything eventually, wasn’t he?
The young samurai took a deep breath and decided to read the letter from his father first. His eyes recognized the familiar kanjis on the bottom in the end of the letter for the first sight, so he was sure the letter which covered the other was from Kamenashi-san. He skimmed the rows of black characters written with high care. There were only some lines about how he was missed and that his old man wants to see him again. Then as it was expected the nice composed request for his return.
So, there was nothing about punishment or any kind of information about the army of the daimyou. That was some kind of satisfaction at least. He was almost done with the reading when he got to the last row starting on the top and heading to the bottom of the paper.
“I attached the letter of young Akanishi-san, who wants you to be back soon as much as your old father. Looking forward to your answer. You can give it to Maruyama who will care about it.
Kamenashi Naosuke”
‘Young Akanishi’? So the other letter is from the heir. Akanishi wants him back too? His heartbeat sped up again as he reached for the small roll with shaky hands. He was afraid from reading it, as if there was the sentence of his death inside. Who knows, maybe there was. Anyway, why did the heir trouble himself with writing to Kazuya? But on the other hand, his father didn’t write anything concerning to that. Then what?
His fingers moved slowly as he pulled the thin ribbons making them untied. After that he put it onto the table and rolled it off with one hand while the other kept the letter in front of him. His heart skipped a beat as the characters came to his view with Jin’s kanji on the end. Then Kazuya took another deep breath and started to read the lines slowly and carefully spending more attention for this than to the other letter from his father.
“To Kamenashi Kazuya
It’s been a while you has left the castle. I hope your mother is fine and you can return back soon. I think I was strict to you last time, but that was only because of the circumstances. I guess I misunderstood you and a lot of things. My behavior must have caused you more trouble, which just added to your headache. I regretted it pretty much. I want to talk with you about it and apologize. Can I hope it will be anytime soon? We need you here so badly. You can return anytime.
I’m waiting you back.
Jin”
I’m waiting you back? Nothing like: I order you back right now. And only Jin??? Where is the Akanishi Jin, the son of the daimyou, lord of the whole Hyougo prefecture? The lord of a dangerous army who only has to sign with his hand and Kazuya ends on his own harakiri ceremony instead of his genpuku. Jin is waiting him back, right? An indescribable feeling spread through his body making the young man light headed. He had to reread that few lines with pounding heart. Was it possible Jin wanted him back? Well, the heir wrote ‘WE need you so badly’ not ‘I need you so badly’, but somehow for Kazuya it was almost the same. The WE contained Akanishi too, didn’t it?
The longer he kept reading it the more his heart ached. He wanted to go back so badly right know, that he started to think about how he could sneak out without being noticed. It was crazy, he was crazy. Takeda wasn’t right about the distance and time. Right now, Kazuya felt he got deeper in love with Akanishi Jin with every day he has spent away from the castle. It’s just crazy. He got crazy.
With a heavy sigh he leant above the table and supported his head on his elbows hiding his face between his palms. It is insane. He has to get himself together and not behave like a stupid teenager falling in love at the first time. Duties are on the first spot. Duties like to take care about his blind mother, guard the daimyou and his family, be a good son of Kamenashi-san who gave him name and background. He can’t just throw everything away. He was a samurai and like that he knew those duties are more important than anything else. Until he met the son of the daimyou he was good with it, but Jin managed to make everything upside down.
With a deep sigh he said on a low voice “What should I do now?”
“Kazuya?” his mother called out his name softly and the sliding door was pushed open in the next minute. Hinoe entered the room and closed the door behind her. “Are you alright, my dear? I was worried and came to check on you. What was in the letter? Something happened, am I right?”
The young man looked at his mother, who stepped next to him and crouched down reaching out with her hands. Kazuya let himself being pulled into the embrace and threw his arms around the slim figure. Even if he was stronger and taller than his mother, emotionally he was quite weak comparing to Hinoe, who was as strong as a bastion of Himeji castle. He needed to take some courage from this woman; he wanted to get stronger and make his mother proud of. He promised he will be stronger.
“Is it that bad? What had happened, dear?” the young man leant back a little and turned his head to the side.
“No. Nothing bad happened.”
“It’s alright, my sunshine. You are not alone, we support you. Just tell me what do you want to do and I will help you.”
“I think I should go back.”
“Did Kamenashi-san write you have to go back? Or the guards?”
“No, I don’t have to go back, but that’s my duty. I should go back soon,” the young man said on low voice.
“That’s why you are so sad? Do you want to stay? Or do you want to go back? What does your heart want?”
“My heart? My heart is not among the duties I have, my mother.”
“You are wrong, young man. Your heart is the main duty of yours,” Hinoe took her son’s face between her palms calling for full attention. When she continued her voice was more sincere than ever. “If your heart is against what you are doing you won’t be able to do it successfully. You won’t be happy and it will eat you up inside. Listen to your heart. It will tell you what you should do, Kazuya. Don’t back off and believe in yourself. You are strong and you are my son, a great young man.”
“Thank you, mother. I know that I’m not that strong right now as you think, but I promise I will be.”
“I know, I know, my sunshine,” she caressed the samurai’s cheeks tenderly. “And what does your heart tell you?”
“That… I should go back. I want to go back. Forgive me, mother.”
“Oh, hush! It’s alright,” she knew it; she so knew that this will come one day. But outside she didn’t show any disappointment. Her son’s happiness is her most important duty as a mother even if she has to say goodbye again. Even if it is going to tear her heart apart and steal her strength. She will do it. She will do it for Kazuya.
“You know that you can leave anytime. I will be fine.”
“No! No, not like that!” the young man pulled out of the motherly embrace and shook his head. “I won’t leave you again mother. I… I will… I don’t know, but I will think out something. I won’t let you here alone.”
“I’m not alone, Kazuya.”
“My heart says no. So there is no place for resistance,” the samurai told sincerely filled with determination. Hinoe chuckled and made Kazuya also smile. So, there was no resistance anymore and the young guard’s heart lost a heavy weight which has pressed on him till now making him hard to breathe.
They returned back to their guest after that and Kazuya told Maruyama-san that he will write an answer soon. The old man promised he will send the letter to Kamenashi-san with the next ship after he got it. The trade of the merchandise made correspondence easier, so as a good trade man he had the best connections to arrange it.
That was pretty useful, because Kazuya exchanged a few letters with his father about his return. Actually, the return itself was not that difficult, but Kazuya wanted to take his mother too and of course Hanako, she was almost like a niece to him by the time. After he was able to make Hinoe agree to it, he had to plan every single thing. When they celebrated his genpuku, he got the letter from Kamenashi-san that he was supporting his son and will arrange some place for the two women. Hinoe insisted on not selling the house. If not for her son, than for Hanako it could be a nice home in the future. She was not that sure how she can handle a new place, new people around. In the worst case she can move back to Takamatsu, but as long as her son needs her she is going to support Kazuya with everything she can do, even moving to a different town.
***
Inside Himeji Jin was sitting behind his huge table and behind the pile of papers, which amount increased from day to day. He was working hard as always, but his thoughts always went around his guard, and when Kazuya will return finally. He even pulled himself out of the duty to visit the emperor at New Year. His mother and the kids sailed away before New Year’s Eve, but he stayed finding some excuse. But actually he was afraid that if he leaves with his brothers and sisters, he misses the chance to welcome his young guard back. He promised he will wait and he wanted to keep that promise.
Even then when his mother insisted to take him too, he told Hiyori not to worry and promised that he will visit his father and the emperor after he finished his ‘oh so important’ tasks which can’t wait and had to be done. The daimyou family left the castle with a lot of guards and servants leaving Jin alone. The huge building felt empty without them and made the heir a little sad. Days passed away without any news from Kazuya. Two weeks later his family was back and his mother got more worried than before seeing his son sinking into the depression.
The young man buried himself inside his study room and didn’t show up daytimes. After Kamenashi-san sent a letter to him, that Kazuya is coming back soon, which would be in the early spring as they can arrange everything with the moving, Jin’s mood got brighter, but he still barricaded himself into his room for the most of the time.
“There are you again, onii-chan!” the cheerful voice came from the doorway where one of Jin’s sisters stood pouting slightly. She was the third child in the row, who was the most boyish and rebellious from the two girls. Maybe more than all the others together. After Jin arrived, he spent some time with his brothers and sisters too and built up the relationship between siblings that he couldn’t do during the years he has spent away.
Even so all of them looked up to the heir and obeyed like they would obey the daimyou. Somehow his second sister was the one Jin could get the closest. Maybe because she reminded the heir himself, when he was young and had to obey studying hard to became an heir and the next daimyou after his father.
“Youko, how come you are here again? There is no one else you can drive his or her nuts?”
“I just care about your health,” she came closer entering the room both of her hands on her hips, like a mother who is ready to lecture her kid. “If I wouldn’t come up to you and take you to a walk now, then you would grow together with your table like an old man. You look older with every day already, O-Jin-chan!”
“I pray every night before going to bed, that somewhere in this huge island there was a man born for you, who will marry you and I can get rid of your big mouth,” he poke back making the fourteen years old cheeks turn into red.
“Haha! You think there is a man who I would obey? Except father who is my family, so it doesn’t count. I won’t marry ever. Men are all pigs and I don’t like pigs. You can’t rid of me O-Jin-chan. Come and have a walk with me, the weather is nicer today.”
Jin sighed and checked the view from his window. It was already warmer, but only the first few springy days so far. How many days are till the real spring? And how long does it take for Kazuya to return? The loss of his young and beautiful guard taught him a lesson of patience; that was sure. Even Youko’s teasing jokes couldn’t make him pissed off as before. Back then he would have yelled and fight with that big mouth, but now it made him sober up from his numbness. Yes, his sister made a good job, but not with the walks, rather with his psychical state that received a few kicks from time to time.
“Alright, let’s go to the garden. I rather get over it and with that I can get you out of my back.”
“See, you can’t tell me I don’t care about your health. I do climb up here and fight with you to have short walk with me. Am I a caring little sister or not?”
“You are, Yuoko, though an annoying one,” Jin mumbled the last part mostly for himself while they left his room. He felt tired and his head was dizzy from the bunch of thoughts which tortured it. A nice walk and some chilly air could help after all.
Chapter 22 >>>