RP: And Make It A Double...

[olddognewtrick]

Date: 31 August 2001
Characters: Sirius, Fred, George
Status: private
Summary: The boys go for a drink to celebrate the end of back-to-school shopping season
Completion: incomplete

Comments

[up_two_no_good]

"Glad to have you aboard, mate," George said as he lifted his glass in salute. "We couldn't have done it without you."

"No, we'd've had some boring sod in your place who would have made the summer tragical and lacking in fun," Fred agreed, raising his own pint.

"To the original prankster, then!" George said.

"To Sirius!" Fred echoed gleefully.

[olddognewtrick]

A man with a smaller ego might have blushed at the praise, but Sirius just grinned and took a little bow because really, they were quite right. He was a lot more fun than most blokes, and he'd left a positive mark on the business already.

"Thanks guys, really. I've never had this much fun at a job, it's like going back to some really happy times in my life. And I couldn't have asked for better bosses, so cheers." He clinked his glasses against theirs, and took a sip of his firewhiskey.

"I suppose we'll be finding out shortly how well the owl-order business is going to take off. Wish I could be there to see the look on the old caretaker's face when he tries to figure out how the students are smuggling in all those pranking supplies."

[up_two_no_good]

Fred looked pityingly over at George's glass and transfigured it into vodka without batting an eyelash. "It's almost worth breaking into Hogwarts for," he mused.

George grinned. "Which is, of course, something we've done before."

"What haven't we done before?"

"A hippogriff?"

Fred made a face. "You're a really bad monk, you know?"

[olddognewtrick]

Sirius smirked, "It's not all it's cracked up to be," he said before casually taking a sip from his drink.

"Speaking of Hogwarts, I've got to send off a package to Remus's kid, he's a firstie this year. I was going to drop it by their house, but I don't know if Snape's quite over thinking that I tried to jump Remus's bones. Probably best to keep my distance for now."

[up_two_no_good]

Fred snickered. "Well, the sentiment was all right, if nothing else. Worried about his Mum. She's had some bad experiences."

"Christ, she was married to Lucius, of course she's had some bad experiences," George chimed in.

"Still, he nearly fainted when he saw some of the stuff we've got in that back room," Fred said with a dreamy sigh.

"Probably traumatic for anyone thinking about their mums using our products," George said. "Imagine Molly--"

"Oh god!" Fred gasped, tossing the rest of his pint at George, who deflected the liquid in a shower around him before it could touch him. "That's just wrong, George. Sick. And. Wrong."

[olddognewtrick]

Sirius chuckled at the idea of Draco staring, horrified, at some of
their more lurid products, like the fist-shaped dildos. "Maybe we
should send him a Hippogriff dildo with our regards," he said with a
wink.

He cringed and wiped off the beer that had splashed his arm during the
twins' battle. He shouldn't say this but after getting beer on him,
they probably deserved it. "You know, your mum was pretty good
looking, back in the day. A bit old for me at the time, mind you, but
she was definitely in MILF territory back when Bill was a firstie.
And it was the sexual revolution and all when your folks were young,
you know..."

[up_two_no_good]

"Dementor dildo," Fred said with a nod, planning on doing just that.

Both twins stared at Sirius, horror-struck. "Ew," said George.

"Ugh," said Fred.

"That's just..."

"I mean..."

The twins looked at each other, and at Sirius, and at each other. And then they both threw lime slices at him, half giggling like two-year-olds, half groaning in agony at the mental images that was pulling up.

[olddognewtrick]

Sirius laughed so hard his stomach hurt as he ducked the lime slices that flew at him. He caught one and took a gulp of George's tequila before sucking on the slice.

"Cheers, boys," he said, giving George his glass back.

[up_two_no_good]

"Sober is overrated," Fred said.

"We used to be unable to get drunk," George added.

"Terrible, horrible state to be in."

"Really, what's the point if you can't let loose every now and again?"

"Who'd have thought part of becoming monks meant learning how to get drunk again?"

George laughed. "And you say being a monk isn't any fun, brother mine."

"Your secrets are all safe with us, mate," Fred said to Sirius. "We're very good at keeping our lips sealed."

"Actually, we accidentally did seal our lips together with the prototypes for the Ton Tongue Toffees..."

"Thought Mum'd paddle our backsides."

"And no more comments from you about her being a MILF or we may have thrust rusty spoons into our eye sockets to erase the mental images."

[olddognewtrick]

Sirius could just see Molly being seething mad about her sons managing to seal their mouths closed, and it was quite an amusing picture. "I'd pay to see that! I'm sure it was quite amusing to have you two shut up for a day."

He bit his tongue and spared them from the comment he would have made about Molly and paddling that had nothing to do with punishing children, partly because he feared the twins' imminent and probably creative retribution.

"Alright, alright, if only to save your vision. It'd be awfully dangerous making all those potions while blind."

[up_two_no_good]

"Funny, that's what she said," Fred giggled.

"Not like it was the first time she got mad at us, though," George pointed out sagely.

"Really, our brothers and sister should thank us for deflecting so much of the innate Molly-rage from them."

"We were thoroughly maligned."

"Practically abused."

"Poor, innocent creatures that we were," Fred winked.

They nodded at him. "We'd have to ask Snape for help with the potions," Fred teased.

"And just imagine what would happen if you and he both worked for us!" George agreed.

[olddognewtrick]

Sirius laughed at that. "Innocent little lambs, of course. I'm sure you didn't deserve one bit of what you got. She must be quite irate that you've managed to turn mischief into a lucrative business venture."

He reached for George's tequila at the mention of Snape working for them. "That's got to be the worst idea in the history of wizardkind. We'd probably blow up the shop on the first bloody hour of working together!"

"I'm glad to avoid him for Remus's sake, although I wouldn't mind a good fight with him if I didn't think Remus would up and stop speaking to me because of it."