RP: And Make It A Double...

[olddognewtrick]

Date: 31 August 2001
Characters: Sirius, Fred, George
Status: private
Summary: The boys go for a drink to celebrate the end of back-to-school shopping season
Completion: incomplete

Comments

[up_two_no_good]

"Glad to have you aboard, mate," George said as he lifted his glass in salute. "We couldn't have done it without you."

"No, we'd've had some boring sod in your place who would have made the summer tragical and lacking in fun," Fred agreed, raising his own pint.

"To the original prankster, then!" George said.

"To Sirius!" Fred echoed gleefully.

[olddognewtrick]

A man with a smaller ego might have blushed at the praise, but Sirius just grinned and took a little bow because really, they were quite right. He was a lot more fun than most blokes, and he'd left a positive mark on the business already.

"Thanks guys, really. I've never had this much fun at a job, it's like going back to some really happy times in my life. And I couldn't have asked for better bosses, so cheers." He clinked his glasses against theirs, and took a sip of his firewhiskey.

"I suppose we'll be finding out shortly how well the owl-order business is going to take off. Wish I could be there to see the look on the old caretaker's face when he tries to figure out how the students are smuggling in all those pranking supplies."

[up_two_no_good]

Fred looked pityingly over at George's glass and transfigured it into vodka without batting an eyelash. "It's almost worth breaking into Hogwarts for," he mused.

George grinned. "Which is, of course, something we've done before."

"What haven't we done before?"

"A hippogriff?"

Fred made a face. "You're a really bad monk, you know?"

[olddognewtrick]

Sirius smirked, "It's not all it's cracked up to be," he said before casually taking a sip from his drink.

"Speaking of Hogwarts, I've got to send off a package to Remus's kid, he's a firstie this year. I was going to drop it by their house, but I don't know if Snape's quite over thinking that I tried to jump Remus's bones. Probably best to keep my distance for now."

[up_two_no_good]

The twins exchanged grins before leaning closer to Sirius. "Talking from experience there, mate?" Fred asked.

"You know we have those life-like animal dildos in the back," George put in.

"Love to have your feedback if you have first hand knowledge of the subject at hand."

"Research and development, you know."

Fred sipped his pint and George took a drink of his water... and spluttered in shock, eyes watering as the pure alcohol hit the back of his throat with no warning. "You utter, utter bastard," he gasped at his twin.

"No idea what you're talking about," Fred said, fluttering his lashes before turning to Sirius, ignoring his brother's need for oxygen. "Both sprogs are off, are they? What happened there, mate? We saw them last year and they had an infant and another on the way. Now the kiddles are off to Hogwarts? Just a bit fishy, wouldn't you say?

[olddognewtrick]

Sirius laughed. This wasn't the sort of thing he'd tell just anyone, but the Twins were the sort who'd get a good chuckle from it. This was yet another thing that Sirius hoped that Tracey would never ask him about while he was drunk, considering what had happened the week earlier

[up_two_no_good]

George smiled his thanks through watering eyes as he windpipe cleared at last. "Wanker," he said to George.

"Not a hippogriff wanker, though," Fred said, watching Sirius with shining eyes. "That is absolutely excellent level of perversion mate. I'm so proud."

Both twins nodded vigorously. "We have done, as they say, some freaky shit in our time," George agreed.

"But you win," Fred finished.

They pondered on Snape's kids for a moment, and Fred said at last, "Typical, slimy Snape."

"Greasy git's probably up to something, aging his kids with experimental potions or something."

"How your mate Remus can put up with him..."

"Not a bad looking bloke either, Remus. Can't believe he ended up with Snape."

[olddognewtrick]

Sirius was oddly proud that he'd won some nonexistant perversion contest with the Twins. They certainly weren't the sort who'd give out such an honor lightly.

He sighed heavily at mention of Snape. "It's hopeless, really. I've tried to convince Remus that he's gone mad, but you should have seen him when that greasy bastard left him. Poor Remus was utterly in pieces."

"Love completely baffles me sometimes. It's like it has made Remus blind and deaf and daft, and he can't see the real person he's attached himself to. But I've given up trying to stop him now, it's obviously the thing that makes him happy."

"Not that it means I have to like the prat or anything. It's not like he affords me that, not that I'd want him to."

[up_two_no_good]

The twins nodded sagely. "What's the line about winged cupid being painted black?" Fred asked.

"Not sure, though it certainly suits Snape," George said.

"We could always do something to him," Fred mused. "Make him lose his hair or grow a tail or something."

"Turn him into a woman, maybe," George laughed. "With the gender-bending jelly or otherwise."

"Not that we want Remus miserable, 'course. We always liked him."

"It's just... Snape, you know?" George smirked. "Anyway, don't talk to Fred about looooove. He's positively hopeless about his girlfriend."

Fred punched him in the arm. "Shut it, you. She thinks you're delightful. Clearly she's as blind toward you as Remus is to Snape."

[olddognewtrick]

Sirius laughed out loud at the idea of Snape bald, or with a tail, or
worse, as a woman. "That would be brilliant, but sadly, lads, I doubt
it would deter poor Remus one bit. Honestly, if he likes Snape how he
is now, how could a tail be any worse than that horrible personality
he's got?"

"Although I'm certain he'd make a rather hideous woman, which would be
amusing to no end." It was too bad that Tal was leaving for Hogwarts
tomorrow, otherwise Sirius would have given him something to slip
Snape that would provide some amusement. Perhaps over the winter
holiday...

He shrugged and took a drink, "Don't suppose I'm one to talk of love either."

"Narcissa's a bit of trouble, though I suppose she's mellowed out a
bit since we were kids. Can't help it though, can you? Love chooses
you, I suppose, although personally, I'm more related to Draco than I
care for, so good luck with that."

[up_two_no_good]

"He'd make a rather hideous anything," George retorted, transfiguring the vodka into tequila. With a wave of his hand, Fred supplied the lime slices.

"You'd have known Cissa back in the day, then, wouldn't you have?" Fred said, not pulling off the nonchalant tone at all.

George snickered. "Smooth, brother." He tented his fingers and looked inquiringly at Sirius. "It would be wrong to ask what she was like when you knew her, I suppose. She's a changed woman and all that."

"Still a bit of trouble, but definitely of the good kind," Fred said with a grin.

[olddognewtrick]

Sirius laughed. "I wondered if you'd ever catch on that I might have
some dirt on your girlfriend." He finished off his firewhiskey and
set it down on the sticky tabletop.

"She's changed a lot since we were kids. She was definitely spoiled,
and had many a tantrum when she didn't get her way, not that it
happened very often... Uncle Cygnus loved his girls like nothing
else, and he made sure they had everything they wanted. It's hard to
see it now, but she was really perfectly-suited to Lucius. He got a
gorgeous pureblood wife, and she got to play hostess and yell at house
elves all day while he was off killing Muggles, or whatever he did in
his spare time. Thankfully, she never tried to contact me after I was
disowned, not that i would have spoken to her anyway"

"That was part of why I was so skeptical when I first saw her back,
besides her obvious memory loss. She just wasn't the bratty cousin I
used to loathe having visits with."

[up_two_no_good]

Fred and George exchanged a look. That description was a far cry from the elegant, gracious lady they'd just had dinner with. "Temper tantrums, you say?" Fred said, planning on teasing his girlfriend with what he was learning.

"The persecution of house elves?" George laughed. "That's more how I would picture Draco's mum. You know the little git came into the store to yell at Fred?"

Fred chuckled. "I horrified him with the back room and the thought that it's where Cissa and I had our first real flirtation."

[olddognewtrick]

Sirius shrugged. "I'm probably not the least biased source, but I
assure you I'm not making this up. She definitely used to have more
in common with her son, besides the whole being flaming gay bit."

"That skinny little wimp tried to take on Fred?" Sirius asked
incredulously, "He's obviously out of his mind. That little prick
needs to stick to taking on blokes his own size. or maybe just women,
in that case."