What They'd Give Just For the Right to Hold You ...

[the_dark_snack]

For those of you who have not read the therealljidol book and are new to my friends list, I have had a childShe does not live with me nor have I seen her in person since a few days after her birth. While I do wonder about her often and almost was in touch with her last year, I know in my heart that her life has been massively better that I could have ever given

Comments

[finding_helena]

Telling you that you need to do something differently, but giving zero help, is completely unproductive, I agree!

[the_dark_snack]

Thanks!

[kagomeshuko]

I agree that the not offering help but telling you to do things differently is awful and of no help at all.

You made the best decision that you could at the time. You wanted to give that little girl the best possible life she could have and you knew that you couldn't give her that.

Adoption can be such a beautiful thing. There's nothing wrong with it.

Unlike some girl that was in my life (I have an acquaintance that knows the people that adopted her daughter), but the girl said that she never put a daughter up for adoption, kept denying, and then made it obvious that it was true by insisting that I was accessing private legal documents. She insisted that over and over even though I didn't say anything about it. The girl is even the one that brought the adoption up in the first place.

[the_dark_snack]

I'm just glad that from what I've heard, she's happy.

I've also offered to be a surrogate for several people but no one has ever taken me up on it and I'm pretty much past those days now.

I think adoption is a wonderful thing and I was glad to be able to take part in one.

[adoptedwriter]

Wow! I had no idea you were a birth mother! You have my respect! Hugs. AW

[the_dark_snack]

Thanks! It's one of those things that I don't hide but I also don't talk about it much.

[ecosopher]

I can't imagine giving a child up for adoption, but I admire your resolve, and wish that T had done the same. It takes a certain conviction and maturity to be able to realise that you wouldn't be able to provide for a very dependent human.

[the_dark_snack]

It's really a difficult choice. However, I had settled on it before searching for her new parents and was never swayed for a moment.

I kind of felt that the baby convinced me it was what she needed so I felt like I was following her lead.

[veronica_rich]

When I was younger I used to have a harsh view of people who adopted out their babies (except for a few situations) rather than get an abortion. Over time I've accepted there are circumstances I won't understand, though, and I don't have to. My only requirement really is, as long as all choices are available to a woman, which one she picks is her own business - if there's not a choice that's available and should be, that's where I get harsh these days.

Good entry! As I've said before, I'm sorry you had to go through it, but also I'm not, since you regard it positively as well.

[the_dark_snack]

Thanks!. I'm also a big believer in abortion but I didn't choose that option because she was conceived in love (we really were in a loving place during that time) and I honestly planned to keep her.

However, I've always been a big supporter of adoption & somehow felt that I would be involved in one someday (either giving or receiving a baby).

[rayaso]

The decision to give the baby up for adoption must have been especially difficult, since you originally planned to keep it. It takes a lot of strength to do what you did, especially with someone like T "helping."

[the_dark_snack]

Yes, it was but once I made it, I never regretted it or wavered in my choice.