Happy Goddamn Valentine's Day

[notplaying]

Toby's day had started off on an obnoxious note, mainly that he was still in the basement of the compound on an island in the Bermuda triangle. However, there was breakfast, and there was bacon at breakfast, and there was no one to get on his case for eating the bacon as opposed to eating, say, wilting green leaves with vinegar on them or

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[jim_halpert]

Jim had heard all about the insanity going down on the island, and he was glad he had ended up missing it because Pam had, well, insisted they stick around the hut for a while in the morning. To say the least, he was in fairly good spirits, even though Sam had decided to spit up on his shirt a few minutes ago. He was just coming back from washing it out and was heading back to their hut when he noticed the set up in the rec room.

There was no way he couldn't stop. He headed into the room, and pretended not to notice Sam perk up and babble happily at the sight of Dwight.

"Do I want to know what's going on?" he asked, successfully dodging getting hit in the face with Sam's doll as she squirmed in his grip.

[numbertwoguy]

"What does it look like? Put the clues together, Jim. It's Valentine's Day. Food prepared with love. I'm here, sitting at this table in front of it." He waited, glaring up at Jim through his dirt-smudged glasses.

"A romantic dinner, obviously," he snapped.

[notplaying]

"For a monkey," Toby offered from his place on the sofa. "I'm not involved." He wanted that to be abundantly clear to everyone who walked into the room.

[jim_halpert]

Jim had guessed it was a dinner, but the fact Toby was hanging around was what was confusing him. He only knew him vaguely from working on the Council with him, but he was still pretty sure he and Dwight weren't friends.

"I was just wondering why you looked like you were having a dinner like that with him," he said, barely biting back a grin. The weird holiday events were actually kind of fun when it wasn't him having to deal with it. "I'm guessing you two are stuck together, then?"

[flyboy_shepp]

John wasn't exactly the kind of guy who did the whole romantic gesture thing (crazy island love mojo aside), but he was pretty sure you didn't do it in the middle of the rec room for everyone to see and walk in on.

He gave Dwight one look and immediately did his best to keep as far away from him as possible. That didn't explain what Toby was doing in the room with him, even if he did look about as happy to be there as John felt on a particularly bad patrol morning.

"Hey, Toby," he said, giving him a questioning look. "Dwight."

[notplaying]

"John," Toby greeted back with a half cough and somewhat rough tone. He glanced at Dwight, then looked back to Sheppard.

"I've been unwillingly accompanying Mr. Schrute on his beet-fueled endeavor of love."

[numbertwoguy]

Dwight scowled in Toby's direction, then glanced at John.

"I'm waiting for Angela," he said, nearly pouting.

[flyboy_shepp]

"Okay," John said slowly, almost as if he hoped he could figure out what the hell was going on before he finished the word. "The, uh, table's nice," Dwight," he said, trying not to sound like he was lying through his teeth.

An eyebrow went up when he realized what was playing on the jukebox sounded suspiciously like the Spice Girls. "Music's an interesting choice, though."

What he didn't get &mdash and this, he conveyed in another confused glance - was what Toby was doing helping Dwight in the first place.

[antiwhorish]

It was Valentine's Day, and Angela was not pleased that she had been spending it by herself. She was married, and this state of affairs was unacceptable.

At least she had Sprinkles for company, as she went looking for her husband, hoping he'd have a good reason for abandoning her on the most romantic day of the year.

She did not expect to find him having what looked like a romantic dinner with a man. She stood in the doorway, staring, while Sprinkles hissed at Dwight from her place in Angela's arms. Angela kind of wanted to join her.

[numbertwoguy]

Dwight heard the hiss, the sirens call that his monkey-buns wasn't far away. And there she was, looking...well, pissed off...but still beautiful.

"Angela!" Dwight enthused, standing up, a big grin on his face. "Surprise! Happy Valentine's Day! Toby wouldn't let me shower," he started to explain, taking broad strides toward his sweetheart.

It was love, love made him forget. And when he got too far from Toby? He fell from the momentum, like he'd tripped on something, straight on his face.

[notplaying]

"You must be monkey," Toby greeted from his seat, and lifted a hand in greeting but didn't go anywhere near the apparently rabid cat.

"My name is Toby Ziegler."

[antiwhorish]

There was something severely wrong if this Toby person had any say in Dwight's ability to shower. She was certain that she did not approve.

"I'm Angela. Dwight's wife." She looked down on Dwight, still on the floor. "Has this man given you drugs?"

[playingstupid]

Josh had been planning to settle in at the table in the rec room, read the newspaper he had just nabbed from the kitchen, and drink some coffee. Quiet, boring, normal. He walked through the doorway of the rec room, mug halfway to his lips and eyes on the newspaper, when he realized that something was up.

What the hell? There was an odd man with really hideous glasses, who smelled quite literally like shit, and then-- Toby. Toby Ziegler. In a Hawaiian shirt.

And, on the table in front of them, there was a romantic, candlelit dinner for two. Josh froze. And then, the jukebox whirred to life.

"Come a little bit closer baby, get it on, get it on
'Cause tonight is the night when two become one
I need some love like I never needed love before
(Wanna make love to ya baby)
I had a little love, now I'm back for more
(Wanna make love to ya baby)
Set your spirit free, it's the only way to be...."He looked from the table, to the weird guy, to Toby. His eyes twinkled, his eyebrows raised. "You're kidding, right?" He paused, his mouth quirking

[notplaying]

"Josh," Toby said immediately, standing. "Joshua Lyman." His tone was a warning. Tone. It was brimming with warning. It was waving red flags and blaring klaxons.

[playingstupid]

Josh was outwardly, totally, shamelessly (pretty obviously, it's Josh Lyman) smirking. His eyebrows twitched upward even more, if humanly possible.

"Toby. Tobias Ziegler." His eyes grazed over the table again and he tucked the newspaper under his arm. This appeared to be much more entertaining. He took a long, slow sip of coffee. "So. Gonna introduce me?"

[notplaying]

"Sure," Toby said with a gentle half cough in the back of his throat, and moved, well within his ten foot range of Dwight, to pick up a baseball bat from his bag of gear that was sitting against the foot of a chair.

"Nothing would please me more."