Happy Goddamn Valentine's Day

[notplaying]

Toby's day had started off on an obnoxious note, mainly that he was still in the basement of the compound on an island in the Bermuda triangle. However, there was breakfast, and there was bacon at breakfast, and there was no one to get on his case for eating the bacon as opposed to eating, say, wilting green leaves with vinegar on them or

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[antiwhorish]

It was Valentine's Day, and Angela was not pleased that she had been spending it by herself. She was married, and this state of affairs was unacceptable.

At least she had Sprinkles for company, as she went looking for her husband, hoping he'd have a good reason for abandoning her on the most romantic day of the year.

She did not expect to find him having what looked like a romantic dinner with a man. She stood in the doorway, staring, while Sprinkles hissed at Dwight from her place in Angela's arms. Angela kind of wanted to join her.

[numbertwoguy]

Dwight heard the hiss, the sirens call that his monkey-buns wasn't far away. And there she was, looking...well, pissed off...but still beautiful.

"Angela!" Dwight enthused, standing up, a big grin on his face. "Surprise! Happy Valentine's Day! Toby wouldn't let me shower," he started to explain, taking broad strides toward his sweetheart.

It was love, love made him forget. And when he got too far from Toby? He fell from the momentum, like he'd tripped on something, straight on his face.

[notplaying]

"You must be monkey," Toby greeted from his seat, and lifted a hand in greeting but didn't go anywhere near the apparently rabid cat.

"My name is Toby Ziegler."

[antiwhorish]

There was something severely wrong if this Toby person had any say in Dwight's ability to shower. She was certain that she did not approve.

"I'm Angela. Dwight's wife." She looked down on Dwight, still on the floor. "Has this man given you drugs?"

[numbertwoguy]

Dwight hurriedly, and a bit clumsily, got to his feet. He smiled uncertainly.

"No. Remember how I told you I was stuck in Pam's body once? This is like that, only I seem to be stuck to Toby..."

"But I made you a lovely dinner?"

[notplaying]

"With communist fruits," Toby added helpfully, not getting up still. This might be vaguely amusing, if Mrs. Schrute didn't sic Satan's feline on him.

[antiwhorish]

"Stuck in Pam's body" still struck Angela as the crudest way of describing that particular island phenomenon possible. She didn't care for it at all, and just gave Dwight an extra-disapproving glare.

"I don't want communist fruit. That doesn't sound appropriate for Valentine's Day at all. Did you forget about the holiday?"

[numbertwoguy]

"I didn't actually use beets in the dinner," Dwight said, sounding edgy. "They aren't even fully grown yet. And no I didn't forget! Pumpkin! I made this whole dinner for us!" He gazed pleadingly at her, longing across the distance that he couldn't cross.

[notplaying]

"After a whole day of farming," Toby threw in, offering Angela and terse smile. Dwight wheedling was too pathetic for words in at least fives languages. He was glad none of them were English.

[antiwhorish]

"Yes, I can see that he's been farming." She could smell it as well, and it really wasn't the sort of Valentine's Day ambiance she would have preferred. "Why won't you let him take a shower?" she demanded.

Clearly, her possum had been trying to do something productive and romantic, but this man seemed intent on thwarting him. Must have been the name. Toby. Unhelpful and annoying.

[numbertwoguy]

"He's very stubborn," Dwight interjected. "Even though I let him change his clothes when he spilled coffee all over himself."