Isn't there a joke about a man and a duck?

[flash_demon]

If anyone had asked, Crowley would have denied it utterly, but at times he had a bit more Good in him than one might imagine1. He solidly blamed Aziraphale for this flaw, and now, his humanity as well. He certainly would never cop to having had certain tendencies towards birds throughout his entire existence.2These tendencies may have included

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[silver_crucifix]

The idea of a swim had sounded all right, and Stacy had long since taken off her shoes to climb more easily to the waterfalls.

What greeted her eyes was a bit surprising, and she grinned at the image of a man who looked tougher than he might have been and the chubby, waddling birds.

"I think he likes you."

[flash_demon]

How was it that the birds always found him? Ducks, women, it was rather unsettling the way he was seemingly cursed.

"He's daft if he does," he muttered, lifting his foot to kick the duck away, only to have it waddle right back into position. Crowley glared at it from behind his dark sunglasses before promptly dropping a treat into its gaping maw.

[silver_crucifix]

"That's probably part of the reason." Stacy moved closer, dropping to a crouch near where the bird waddled. "They're fond of the treats. Once you give one to them? They tend to stick around."

[flash_demon]

"Then I'll be certin to deprive you, pet," he smirked.

[_s_black_]

"Well, well, well." Sirius had to hold his dog back from chasing the ducks. The dog whined to get away, but Sirius knelt beside him and held him by the scruff of the neck as he looked up at Crowley, not really in confusion as not much surprised him anymore.

"See what happens? I leave you alone and you start canoodling with ducks."

[flash_demon]

"I'm not canoodling, wanker," he said without looking over. "Ruddy bastards won't leave me be, no matter where I go."

It had nothing to do with the pocketful of food.

[_s_black_]

"Deny it all you want," Sirius teased, still holding his dog back. He considered letting Fucker go, but Crowley looked like he might actually get upset about the dog eating the birds.

"Unless you're considering one for dinner, I'd say you like the fuckers."

[flash_demon]

"They do make rather nice company. You know, without so much chit chat," he shot back, looking over at the man with a sinister smirk.

[gonewiththereap]

She's walking along, parasol twirling behind her and she's decided it's a gorgeous day to look at her ashes; just perfect. What she's not expecting is to find anyone quite so...well, perturbed, along the wayside. "Now whatever could that face be for?" she drawls idly.

[flash_demon]

Crowley looked over at her, but his expression didn't change. He as wholly unamused by the belle and her bumbershoot.

[gonewiththereap]

Daisy just keeps a steadfast expression on her own face. "Mute too, huh," she says brazenly, with a bit of a smirk. "Always the half-good-looking ones, too."

[flash_demon]

"You'd be so much prettier if you were quiet, as well," he replied. "The opening and closing of that gaping hole you call a mouth doesn't do anything for you, my dear."

[purplensparkly]

The last time she'd been near the waterfall, she'd liked the sound. She hadn't actually been to it, though, so now that she was feeling better and since she didn't feel like actually doing much, she brought one of the Shakespeare plays out to read - the Tempest. She was surprised when she saw someone already there, feeding the birds. "Afternoon," she called cheerfully.

[flash_demon]

"That would be the time. Good of you to notice," he replied dryly.

[purplensparkly]

"Well, if you hadn't noticed, too, I might be worried," she replied, raising an eyebrow at him. But she was mostly undeterred and walked over to him, holding out her hand. "Trance Gemini."

[flash_demon]

Crowley looked down at the offered appendage and made no move to reciprocate. "I assume that would be your name?" he remarked, sneering at the very offer.

[theangelfell]

"Really, my dear."

The voice behind him was a touch scolding, a touch indulgent, and a touch pedantic.1

Aziraphale looked out at the ducks as he fussily straightened the collar on his shirt. "Are you throwing the bread to them or at them?"2

1. Through most of existence, Aziraphale managed to be at least one of these things at most times, and more often than not, all three.
2. At least none of the ducks seemed to be suffering from head trauma.

[flash_demon]

Crowley turned a devilish grin upon the angel, then tried very hard to make himself look innocent.1

"Does it honestly matter? They're eating, and that's the point2," he replied evenly.

1. Which he was actually quite good at, being an accomplished liar.
2. He failed to mention the other point was to enjoy the squabbling. The ducks ere provided what the humans seeme incapable of.

[theangelfell]

"You're going to turn the ducks into masochists," said Aziraphale pointedly.1 "They will begin to expect that food only comes with punishment and hence become habituated to the combination of pain and pleasure."

1. And he said this with a great deal of authority, starting out with some theory about Pavlov's dogs, though the longer he spoke on the subject the more he hoped that Crowley wasn't paying close attention.

[flash_demon]

"I'm not trying to make them human," he scoffed, offering a handful of crusts to Aziraphale. "And I think I know quite a bit more about pain and pleasure1 than you, angel."

1. Alluding, of course, to that thing of which they did not speak. Namely, Crowley's time in Hell and his subsequent preclusions to pain.