Isn't there a joke about a man and a duck?

May 26, 2007 18:41

If anyone had asked, Crowley would have denied it utterly, but at times he had a bit more Good in him than one might imagine1. He solidly blamed Aziraphale for this flaw, and now, his humanity as well. He certainly would never cop to having had certain tendencies towards birds throughout his entire existence.2These tendencies may have included ( Read more... )

daisy adair, sirius black, trance gemini, aziraphale, crowley, stacy warner

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theangelfell May 27 2007, 02:59:20 UTC
"Really, my dear."

The voice behind him was a touch scolding, a touch indulgent, and a touch pedantic.1

Aziraphale looked out at the ducks as he fussily straightened the collar on his shirt. "Are you throwing the bread to them or at them?"2

1. Through most of existence, Aziraphale managed to be at least one of these things at most times, and more often than not, all three.
2. At least none of the ducks seemed to be suffering from head trauma.

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flash_demon May 27 2007, 03:17:05 UTC
Crowley turned a devilish grin upon the angel, then tried very hard to make himself look innocent.1

"Does it honestly matter? They're eating, and that's the point2," he replied evenly.

1. Which he was actually quite good at, being an accomplished liar.
2. He failed to mention the other point was to enjoy the squabbling. The ducks ere provided what the humans seeme incapable of.

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theangelfell May 27 2007, 03:23:42 UTC
"You're going to turn the ducks into masochists," said Aziraphale pointedly.1 "They will begin to expect that food only comes with punishment and hence become habituated to the combination of pain and pleasure."

1. And he said this with a great deal of authority, starting out with some theory about Pavlov's dogs, though the longer he spoke on the subject the more he hoped that Crowley wasn't paying close attention.

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flash_demon May 27 2007, 03:30:35 UTC
"I'm not trying to make them human," he scoffed, offering a handful of crusts to Aziraphale. "And I think I know quite a bit more about pain and pleasure1 than you, angel."

1. Alluding, of course, to that thing of which they did not speak. Namely, Crowley's time in Hell and his subsequent preclusions to pain.

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theangelfell May 27 2007, 03:38:01 UTC
Aziraphale's cheeks reddened and he ducked his head, mumbling something that sounded like, "Of course, my dear," but wasn't quite audible.1

He tossed some bread to the ducks, and in doing so perhaps overcompensated, sending them having to swim after it, which he wasn't sure was much better.

1. In fact, the Thing of Which They Did Not Speak bothered Aziraphale a great deal more than he tended to let on.

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flash_demon May 27 2007, 03:41:03 UTC
Feeling magnanimous, Crowly let him off the hook.1 "I say, I went and cleaned the empties so we can begin a new batch of wine. Seems we've gone through it rather quickly this round, wouldn't you say?" he asked, tossing crusts into the water as well.2

1. This time.
2. Aiming for the ducks, naturally.

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theangelfell May 27 2007, 03:49:00 UTC
Aziraphale watched him throw the bread for a moment, deciding to let him off the hook.1 "I gave a few bottles out as gifts," he said. "To the gentlemen who worked on our hut. Though I did mention to bring the empty bottles back by the kitchen, so we should be all right in that department. What do you think we should use as a base this time? I dare say people are getting sick of pineapple.2 Are strawberries in season?"

1. This time.
2. Not to even speak of mango!

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flash_demon May 27 2007, 03:55:37 UTC
"Some are ripe," he nodded. "Perhaps we could augment with some kiwi fruit?" he posited, hurling another chunk at the lead duck.1 "It's too bad there aren't any apples. You know how I do enjoy apples," he smiled, moving closer with the pretense of handing the angel more bread.2

1. He wasn't even attempting to be discrete.
2. But with his hand on Aziraphale's bum, it was clear he wasn't attempting to be discrete in that arena, either.

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theangelfell May 27 2007, 04:00:50 UTC
"Crowley!" Aziraphale hissed1, but there was a slight edge of indulgent amusement to the hiss, if there could be such a thing.2

He cleared his throat and added, "I ah, I do think that strawberry kiwi wine would be worth investigating."

1. It was unclear whether the scolding was for the bread hurling or the arse grabbing.
2. And besides, no one could hiss quite so well as Crowley.

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flash_demon May 27 2007, 04:05:55 UTC
He chuckled at the reaction, getting just what he'd been hoping for.1 "It sounds rather low class to me, but we'll make do with what we have, I imagine.2"

1. Mostly.2. Which in and of itself was unusual and indicative of just how much he'd embraced his humanity. Perhaps he'd had more imagination than most demons, but never enough to mention in passing.

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theangelfell May 27 2007, 04:12:24 UTC
"We will indeed," said Aziraphale, and then brushed his lips across Crowley's in what was a rather clumsy kiss, compounded by the fact that he couldn't seem to figure out what to do with his hands.1

1. Though he thought the gesture a nice compromise.

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flash_demon May 27 2007, 04:14:34 UTC
He arched a brow, lightly kissing him back.1 "What was that for, then?"

1. Just the tip of his tongue snaking out for a taste, mostly out of habit.

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theangelfell May 27 2007, 04:25:54 UTC
"Really, my dear. Must I have a reason?" Aziraphale pulled away and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.1

1. Which always seemed to get a bit sweaty when there was kissing involved.

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flash_demon May 27 2007, 04:29:12 UTC
"Perhaps not," Crowley replied, letting the last of the crumbs in his hand fall to the ground so he could catch hold of the angel's waist. "But I'd think something prompted it,1" he said quietly.

1. And he hoped, quite a bit in fact, that it had been his devilish acts. He was rather fond of provoking Aziraphale, even here.

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theangelfell May 27 2007, 04:46:30 UTC
"Well you - I - " Aziraphale began, obviously flustered. "I... love you?"1

1. Which was the best he could do, really, without admitting part of what Crowley suspected.

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flash_demon May 27 2007, 04:49:05 UTC
He tipped his chin down and peered over his glasses at Aziraphale.1

1. He knew he didn't have to say anything. Years and years of perfecting that look had made for a predictable reaction.

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