FIC: Uncover, Tom/Bill, G, 1/1
Title: Uncover
Author: ???
Pairing: Tom/Bill
Rating: G (actually not sure)
Warnings: Don't own anything, besides the plot
Disclaimer: Adult content, OOC
Summary: Love can be enough, if you're willing to take risks.
Recipient: mohanrocks
Author's notes: Haven't written anything like this before, so I truly hope you'll enjoy! =)
“Bill, I love you, too,” Tom sighed, staring at the raven haired teen, eyes full of regret and sorrow. “But we can’t be together, and you know that,” His heart ached as he said those words, and when Bill, who was sitting on the opposite of him, started crying quietly, staring at his lap, Tom’s heart broke even more - it broke for the two of them.
“Don’t cry,” Tom sobbed, as tears started rolling down his face as well. He regretted saying those words, he regretted it already, but it was the truth, it was a fact - they could not be together.
“I- I don’t care what they say,” Bill sobbed, finally staring at Tom with wide, pleading eyes, sniffing. “I love you, Tom, I- I don’t care about them.”
Tom knew that what Bill was saying was nothing but the truth. Bill had always loved him, and Tom had always loved him in return, but in this case - their love was not enough. Their love was strong and solid but nothing more than that. Tom had nothing to offer Bill - no savings, not a proper house, nothing but his heart. Tom barely had enough to feed himself. He could offer Bill his heart - which he had done many years ago - but that’s where it stopped.
Bill desperately claimed that Tom’s love was enough for him, it was everything he could ever ask for, but Tom knew better.
“Don’t you understand, Bill?” Tom sobbed, drying his tears with his dirty hand. “I know you don’t care about them and I know that you think you can do without but you honestly can’t. You need your family, their support. You may need me, but you need them more.”
“Don’t you want to be with me?” Bill whimpered, this time looking Tom in the eyes and Tom gulped audibly, wanting to kiss the teen so bad, wanting to hold him and tell him that everything would be okay.
Bill was so undeniably gorgeous it made Tom’s heart clench violently, even when he cried he looked like an angel, with his black, short hair all messy and wet from the rain, his pouty lips swollen from having bitten them too much and his brown hazel eyes all red from all the crying he had done, he still looked so enchanting, and Tom wanted nothing than to gather him in his arms, holding him close, shelter him from their Village.
Rubbing his face tiredly, Tom sniffed as he couldn’t stop his tears, nor did he want to. He had no idea what to say, no idea how to do this, especially since he did not want to it. He wanted to stay with Bill. Bill was the only one in the entire village who saw him for who he really was whilst most people, especially Bill’s parents saw him as nothing than a filthy farmer.
“Bill, of course I want to be with you,” Tom confessed, grabbing Bill’s little hands, entwining them with his own, “I want you more than anything but we have to be realistic, you’ll have a much better life marrying Katherine, your father will provide for you, making sure you have everything you need. You’ll be safe, Bill.”
“But I won’t be happy,” Bill sobbed, squeezing Tom’s hands tightly, “I won’t be happy with her.”
“But will you be happy with me?” Tom snapped, a little too harshly than originally intended. “Bill, what I live in can’t be categorized as a house, it’s a fucking shed! It’s close to falling apart and it’s cold and I have three lousy coins in my pocket. I have nothing, nothing to give you,” Tom sniffed. Life was so unfair and there wasn’t a darn thing Tom could do about it. Their lives were controlled, manipulated, ruined.
“I’ll be happy living with you right here,” Bill exclaimed, looking around in the dirty, messy shed, before giving Tom a tiny, little smile, “I don’t care where we are, where we live, I just want you,” He said and leaned in for a sweet, little kiss.
Tom sighed into the kiss, wanting to push Bill away, wanting to snap at him, to tell him to get away right now, put an end to his misery and just marry Katherine, but he could not stop the kiss. He had never been able to resist Bill, in any way.
The passionate kiss grew hotter, more desperate, and suddenly Bill was sitting in Tom’s lap, arms wrapped securely around Tom’s neck, as a way of letting Tom know that Bill was not going to let go. Tom’s tummy fluttered at that, but his mind was racing - he had to seize this moment, cherish this kiss, because it could be the last kiss they ever shared.
~~
“Bill, this really isn’t safe,” Tom said in between greedy kisses from Bill.
Bill simply ignored Tom and pushed him down onto his bed, pulling his boots off before he crawled onto the bed as well, smirking at Tom as he leaned down for a yet another irresistible kiss.
Tom stroked the small of Bill’s back, playing with the hem of his shirt, but not daring to go all the way as they were currently in Bill’s house - his bedroom, to be exact - and anyone could walk in on them.
“It’s okay,” Bill confirmed, biting Tom’s bottom lip teasingly, “Nobody’s home.”
“Some of your servants could walk in anytime,” Tom reminded him, still rolling them over so that he was on top; he didn’t want to make Bill’s sheets dirty.
Bill just giggled, wrapping his arms around Tom again, kissing him with all his might, as if he hadn’t heard what Tom said. Tom knew Bill very well though; he had known the boy for years, and he knew that Bill was spoiled and would sometimes ignore it when he got a ‘no.’
As things got heater, and Bill managed to unbutton Tom’s shirt, the door flew open and, just as Tom had predicted, a servant named Lily stood in front of them, mouth wide open as she stared shockingly at the two boys, lying on top of each other on the bed.
“Lily, please-“ Bill gasped and pushed Tom away from him and tried running after her. She was too fast though and she had probably already made it downstairs.
“Shit,” Bill groaned, pacing around in the room, eyes wide, mouth hanging open, “She’s going to tell my dad. She’s going to tell my dad. Oh Tom, what do we do?” He nearly yelled out in panic, pulling at his hair, letting out a loud groan.
Tom just sat there, staring at Bill dumbly. It was like he was in a trance, or frozen. He appeared to have forgotten how to form words as he opened his mouth several times only to realize that nothing would come out, not a single sound. He was pretty sure he was having a panic attack.
“You have to get out!” Bill suddenly shrieked and yanked Tom’s arm harshly, forcing Tom get up on his feet, still stuck in his trance. “You have to climb out. Come on, Tom, quick!” He shrieked and dragged Tom by his arm towards the window, turning to look at Tom with blank eyes.
“Go,” Bill both pleaded and whispered. “I’ll see you later,” And with that, he sealed the deal with a kiss.
A kiss that should have never happened…
“Bill!” Tom heard someone shriek and he immediately pushed Bill away from him, almost making Bill fall.
The two of them turned to look at Gordon, Bill’s father who was the priest of the Village and the most powerful man there ever was.
Gordon looked furious, his face was purple by now, and his blood vessels pulsing frantically as he started at the two of them with a disgusted look on his face. Tom knew exactly what he was thinking…
“Bill, what are you doing with this peasant?” He yelled, running over to Bill, grabbing him by his shoulders, shaking him violently, making Bill cry hysterically.
“Stop,” Tom roared, desperately trying to get Gordon away from Bill.
Gordon eventually let go of Bill and turned to look at Tom, anger flashing in his eyes and Tom gulped, taking two steps back. Gordon wrapped his hands around Tom’s neck and Tom’s breath caught in his throat.
“You are never to defile my son again,” He said in the most dangerous voice ever known to Tom’s ears, “If I ever find you with my son again, you and that filthy, whoring family of yours will pay the price,” He whispered, spitting Tom in the face before letting go of Tom’s neck.
~~
It had, indeed, been the last kiss they ever shared.
Tom sighed and dried sweat off his forehead as he walked over to his house, ready to sit down after eight, long hours of work. He could only allow himself a thirty-minute long break before he had to join his family back out there, trying to plow as much as he could.
As he got inside, he kicked his boots off and threw himself onto the cushion lying on the living room floor. Curling up into a ball, he finally allowed a tear to fall down his face.
Being the son of a farmer, Tom had never been very happy. He loved his family, more than anything, they gave him what they could, and Tom never blamed any of them. He had always felt lost and lonely, considering how he had grown up with no friends, no one besides his parents and siblings.
In his childhood, Tom and his siblings were often referred to as ’the dirty farmer kids’ so of course he hadn’t gotten any friends once he started school. Who would want to be friends with that poor, dirty boy with ragged clothes? Who would want to be friends the boy who probably had lice because he never washed himself?
Yes, he had always been alone, and he was used to it.
Then he befriended Bill Kaulitz, son of the priest, the richest boy in town, on a hot summer night last year, and he had never felt more complete, more like a human.
Bill had treated him like an actually person and not a walking contagious decease.
And it had felt so good to experience kindness for a change.
It quickly escalated; it turned into love, a love Tom was sure he would never, ever feel again.
~~
“I wish life wasn’t so unfair,” Bill mumbled, resting his head on Tom’s chest as they lay together in the grass, staring up at the beautiful summer sky. They were fifteen minutes away from their Village, out of everyone’s sight, hiding from them, wanting to spend some time with each other.
“Why do you think life is unfair?” Tom asked amused, ruffling Bill’s hair playfully. “You live in a fucking palace, you have it all, Bill,” Tom said as he tried hiding the jealousy in his voice.
Bill sat up and glared at Tom with a rather harsh and hurt look. “Yes, my dad has got money, we both know that. He owns the fucking Village, he’s powerful but I still have the right to think that life is unfair,” Bill pouted and turned around, clearly hurt and Tom instantly felt like an ass.
“Bill,” Tom bit his lip, regretting what he’d said as he realized that he had been a little insensitive, “I’m sorry,” He whispered and sat up properly, hugging Bill from behind, hiding his face in his neck.
“You know I’m nothing like my father,” Bill mumbled, leaning into Tom’s touch, allowing Tom to tightened his grip, “It’s not my fault that he’s got this whole Village at his feet, it’s not my fault he takes money from your family; forcing you to pay too much tax. It’s not my fault that he’s abusing his priest position. I hate it just as much as you do. Yes, I’m surrounded with material goods, but that’s not the key to happiness, believe me I know,” Bill sniffed, stroking Tom’s forearms with his fingertips, closing his eyes, enjoying the feeling of being in the older boys arms.
Tom gulped; he had never realized just how Bill was feeling about all this. He just assumed that Bill was a happy butterfly, enjoying life and being pleased with everything that came his way. Who could blame him for thinking like that? Bill smiled so brightly all the time, brighter than the sun. And just one little smile from Bill made Tom melt right on the spot.
“I’m sorry,” Tom murmured, kissing Bill’s ear sweetly, “I just assumed-“
“You just assumed I was just like my dad,” Bill finished for him. “Well, I’m not. I like you Tom, a lot. I’m sorry to say but not many people in this Village do, but I do. Want to know what the first thing I noticed with you was?”
“Probably my greasy hear and dirt-filled face,” Tom guessed, trying his best to smile.
“No,” Bill giggled and turned around to look at Tom, still resting in his arms. “Your eyes - they were the first thing I noticed about you,” Bill whispered, kissing Tom’s cheek, making Tom flush.
That was the kindest thing anyone had ever said to him in his entire life, and he hugged the boy in his arms tighter, thanking god up in heaven for being so lucky to have him in his life.
“My eyes?” Tom asked in a whisper, trying to sound casual, but his voice did break a little.
“Yes,” Bill replied, voice full of adoration. “Your eyes are glowing, Tom. They sparkle and they are so full of kindness and pain. One can tell by looking at your eyes that you haven’t had the easiest life, but you are a kind person who cares about other people more than yourself.”
Tom was totally speechless, shocked and didn’t know what to reply to that, instead, he grabbed Bill’s head carefully, turning it towards his and kissed Bill softly, trying to make Bill understand, without having to say it, just how much it meant to him - how much Bill meant to him.
~~
After that lovely night in the grass, Bill and Tom’s relationship had only blossomed, but they had to keep their relationship a secret. Bill’s father would not allow Bill to even socialize with someone like Tom, so they had to be very careful. No one could know, and no one could see them together. They lived in a small village, and Bill’s father knew everything that was going on in the Village - he had spies everywhere, all the time.
Their relationship was hard and risky, but so worth it. They snuck out of the Village together, sometimes in the middle of the night, just to be together. Sometimes, they weren’t able to see each other for weeks, as Bill had to attend many high-society parties and Tom had work to do on the farm.
They cherished every little moment they had together, making every minute count, making the most out of it.
But now, Bill had married Katherine Shultz, the daughter of a very wealthy fabric owner. It was a marriage arranged by Gordon and Heinrich Schultz, Katherine’s father.
That faithful night, when Bill had been told by his mother, Simone, that he was engaged, had been the worst night of his life.
It had happened two days after they were caught in Bill’s bedroom by none other than Gordon. Bill had desperately run away from home and stayed with Tom, sobbing and crying in Tom’s arms, repeating over and over that he couldn’t - wouldn’t - marry Katherine.
Tom had been crying as well, as he’d known that their love wouldn’t last, their love was impossible, not meant to be, not in a society like this. For the night, he’d held Bill because Bill had needed it.
But two days later, he’d broken up with Bill, telling him they just couldn’t do it anymore, it was too risky, they had already been caught, and Tom was bound to end up in prison if it ever happened again.
Bill had sobbed, telling Tom he did not want to live without him, he was happy with him, and he could never be happy with Katherine.
Tom had made a choice - a choice he that would follow him forever - to let Bill go.
And that had been two months ago, when they kissed for the very last time, in Tom’s house.
~~
Tom was lying in the grass, staring up at the sky. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax for a bit. This was his hiding place, the hill behind him and the beautifully green beneath him. This was his escape. He could escape from reality and just be himself - a lonely, lost kid without any hopes for his future, without any hope for anything at all.
Just as he was about to fall asleep, he heard footsteps from behind. He quickly got up, brushed the grass of his knees and turned to look who it was, absolutely terrified since he was not really allowed to be there.
He let out a relieved sigh as saw that it was just a boy standing behind him, looking at him with a surprised look.
Tom gulped, completely taken away by the beautiful teen standing in front of him. He was long and lean, very skinny but he did pull it off, Tom had to say. He had dark, short hair - which was so dark it really made his skin look much paler than it probably was. Tom was completely blown away and had suddenly forgotten how to move his legs.
“Hi,” The boy said with a bright smile and sat down next to a very shocked Tom. “I’m Bill… I didn’t think anyone would be here.”
“Oh,” Tom said after a while, not looking at the boy but at his dirty jeans, “Well… I come here sometimes, but I didn’t know that it was yours, I could go if you wa-“
“Wait,” The black haired teen said, rudely interrupting Tom, “Mine? This place is not mine, what makes you think that? And I am not going to force you to go,” He smiled kindly at Tom who blushed red and had to look away again.
“Sorry,” Tom mumbled, “I just assumed… Never mind. I could go if you want to be alone though,” He kindly suggested, smiling carefully at the other boy.
“No, stay,” The boy insisted, patting the spot beside him. “I’m Bill, as I already mentioned, and who are you?”
Tom gasped at the boy. Was he for real? There he was, probably one of the most beautiful boys in the universe, and he wanted Tom - a filthy, sweaty, contagious, ugly boy to sit with him and keep him company? This boy was probably new and didn’t know who he was, or how things worked around there.
“I’m Tom,” Tom smiled hesitatingly and scooted closer to Bill.
“Very nice to meet you, Tom,” Bill sent tom a brilliant smile that made Tom’s heart jump in his chest.
~~
Tom smiled to himself as he thought about the memory, about the first day he’d ever set his eyes on Bill. It was a memory he would hold on to forever. They were over, they would probably never meet again, but Tom would always have his memories - that was something neither society nor Gordon could take away from him.
Still, he walked around, regretting his decision, retting ever having let Bill go.
He had talked to his father, Walter, about it two days ago, as his father had noticing him crying under their favorite apple-tree. His father had given him a hug, and told him that there wasn’t anything Tom could do - even if Tom hadn’t broken up with Bill, Gordon would have found a way to separate them anyway. Tom would go to jail and Bill would either be sent away or kept inside their house. It was true, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.
The same week, Tom volunteered to go to the marked, to trade and sell food they were in desperate need for. All the while, he was hoping to catch a glimpse of Bill, just a little glimpse would be enough to save his day.
Sighing to himself, four hours later, Tom did realize that he would never see his love again.
Feeling defeated, depressed and blue, Tom made his way home to their farm. He helped his father with the animals before he went to bed, crying himself to sleep as he thought about his unlucky fate.
~~
“I love the stars,” Bill sighed out, smiling at Tom. They were lying on the grass, the place where they first met, shoulder-to- shoulder on a chilly night summer night, watching the stars.
“Me too,” Tom replied, turning to steal a quick glance at Bill, “They’re so beautiful,” He whispered, loud enough for Bill to hear, but he was not talking about the stars - he wasn’t talking about the stars at all.
“And they seem so far away, which gives me hope,” Bill whispered, still staring at the star, but noticing the way Tom was looking at him, blushing, “It gives me hope that one day, I’ll break free from this place.”
Tom could sense the desperation and sorrow in Bill’s voice, and sudden warmth spread through his body. He was not alone - he was not the only one who felt alone, lost and so very trapped in that village. He just didn’t quite understand just how bad Bill was feeling, until Bill told him three days later.
“Maybe we will one day,” Tom whispered, and gazing deeply into Bill’s eyes. “We could run away together.”
“Yeah,” Bill whispered, smiling as he stared at Tom’s lips, licking his own lips as well.
Before Tom got the chance to react, or to prepare himself, Bill’s lips was on his. Yelping into the kiss, Tom hesitatingly placed an arm on Bill’s waist, pulling him closer as the kiss went on.
~~
And that was the first kiss they ever shared - a hot, magical but also foolish kiss. They should never have kissed; they should never even have met.
But one can’t control who they fall in love with, or who they meet. Tom never regrets meeting Bill though - it had been the greatest experience in his whole life and he was pretty sure he would never, ever experience something as wondrous as that ever again.
He only had the memories to hold on to, and he would never let them go.
~~
Days passed, months passed, and years passed.
Two years to be exact.
Tom was still working on the farm, still miserable and still missing Bill - the first and only love of his life.
He had not seen Bill in two years, but he thought about it often, sending good thoughts his way and just hoping that Bill - wherever he was right now, whatever he was doing - that he was happy and that he had managed to get over Tom.
Tom had heard rumors saying that Katherine and Bill eventually moved out to the big city, on Katherine’s request, apparently, as she wanted to open a store.
Even though it had hurt, knowing that Bill wasn’t even close anymore, Tom couldn’t help but to feel happy for Bill. Bill had always wanted to get leave this please - he had wanted to be far away, just like the stars.
~~
“Were you serious when you said you’d run away with me?” Bill asked, staring up at Tom with sad eyes.
“I was,” Tom nodded, pressing their foreheads together, “But it’s not going to happen.”
“I know,” Bill sighed, tears streaming down his face. “I just wish it would,” Bill cried, breaking down in Tom’s hold.
“Me too,” Tom cried, stroking the back of Bill’s neck with shaky fingers. “Me too.”
~~
Tom was lying on the grass, on their special spot, as he’d done for years now. He stared up at the sky, wondering where Bill was now, wondering if he’d ever see him again.
He closed his eyes, and escaped, imagining himself running away with Bill, running to a place where they could be happy, where they could be together - to a place where Gordon wouldn’t be able to control their lives.
Hours passed, and Tom wasn’t moving. Suddenly, he heard footsteps from behind him. He didn’t bother getting up; he knew that this land belonged to no one.
Then that someone stopped behind him, blocking the sun from Tom’s face completely. Tom closed his eyes and couldn’t believe his own eyes.
Bill.
His Bill.
“What are you-“ He gasped and got up, grabbing Bill, pressing their bodies together in a warm, desperate hug, sobbing into Bill’s neck as Bill did the same to him.
“What? How? How is this possible?” Tom sobbed, kissing Bill’s neck, chin, temple, cheek, forehead and mouth, and Bill gladly accepted the kisses, sniffing and crying just like Tom.
“I missed you too much,” Bill whimpered, his nails digging into the skin of Tom’s back, “Oh, how I missed you.”
“But why you here?” Tom asked, wiping Bill’s eyes, kissing his forehead, “Why?”
“I ran,” Bill declared, shivering as he said those two words, “I left my wife and I ran… I can’t live without you Tom,” He smiled, lips quivering and Tom placed a soft kiss on them.
“But you were finally free,” Tom whispered, still not being able to believe that Bill was there, right in front of him, “You escaped this place, you broke free.”
“I was never free without you,” Bill replied, voice breaking and he grabbed the back of Tom’s neck and smashed their mouths together in a desperate and greedy kiss.
Before neither one of them knew what was going on, they were lying on the grass, atop of each other, exchanging breathless kisses, and they weren’t able to stop - they wouldn’t stop, not for anything in the whole wide world.
Clothes were being ripped off and thrown away, the kisses never stopped, hands were roaming, stroking, caressing. It was chilly outside, yet the boys were hot and warm as they moved together - slowly, whimpering into each other’s mouths, staring into each other’s eyes as they got closer and closer to their breaking point.
Shivering in each other’s arms, they collapsed next to each other, arms immediately finding each other again, both of them refusing to let go.
Bill rested his head on Tom’s chest, fingers stroking his skinny, yet slightly toned stomach as they came down from their high.
“I love you,” Bill panted.
“I love you, too,” Tom whispered, tigheting his hold on Bill.
Come what may, he was never letting go of Bill again.
~~
“We’ll run away together.”
“Yes, one day we will.”
~~
Bill and Tom did run away together, risking everything they knew in order to be together.
But they knew that no matter what would happen, no matter how they would have to live, it would be worth it because they had each other.
And sometimes, love truly is enough.
Author: ???
Pairing: Tom/Bill
Rating: G (actually not sure)
Warnings: Don't own anything, besides the plot
Disclaimer: Adult content, OOC
Summary: Love can be enough, if you're willing to take risks.
Recipient: mohanrocks
Author's notes: Haven't written anything like this before, so I truly hope you'll enjoy! =)
“Bill, I love you, too,” Tom sighed, staring at the raven haired teen, eyes full of regret and sorrow. “But we can’t be together, and you know that,” His heart ached as he said those words, and when Bill, who was sitting on the opposite of him, started crying quietly, staring at his lap, Tom’s heart broke even more - it broke for the two of them.
“Don’t cry,” Tom sobbed, as tears started rolling down his face as well. He regretted saying those words, he regretted it already, but it was the truth, it was a fact - they could not be together.
“I- I don’t care what they say,” Bill sobbed, finally staring at Tom with wide, pleading eyes, sniffing. “I love you, Tom, I- I don’t care about them.”
Tom knew that what Bill was saying was nothing but the truth. Bill had always loved him, and Tom had always loved him in return, but in this case - their love was not enough. Their love was strong and solid but nothing more than that. Tom had nothing to offer Bill - no savings, not a proper house, nothing but his heart. Tom barely had enough to feed himself. He could offer Bill his heart - which he had done many years ago - but that’s where it stopped.
Bill desperately claimed that Tom’s love was enough for him, it was everything he could ever ask for, but Tom knew better.
“Don’t you understand, Bill?” Tom sobbed, drying his tears with his dirty hand. “I know you don’t care about them and I know that you think you can do without but you honestly can’t. You need your family, their support. You may need me, but you need them more.”
“Don’t you want to be with me?” Bill whimpered, this time looking Tom in the eyes and Tom gulped audibly, wanting to kiss the teen so bad, wanting to hold him and tell him that everything would be okay.
Bill was so undeniably gorgeous it made Tom’s heart clench violently, even when he cried he looked like an angel, with his black, short hair all messy and wet from the rain, his pouty lips swollen from having bitten them too much and his brown hazel eyes all red from all the crying he had done, he still looked so enchanting, and Tom wanted nothing than to gather him in his arms, holding him close, shelter him from their Village.
Rubbing his face tiredly, Tom sniffed as he couldn’t stop his tears, nor did he want to. He had no idea what to say, no idea how to do this, especially since he did not want to it. He wanted to stay with Bill. Bill was the only one in the entire village who saw him for who he really was whilst most people, especially Bill’s parents saw him as nothing than a filthy farmer.
“Bill, of course I want to be with you,” Tom confessed, grabbing Bill’s little hands, entwining them with his own, “I want you more than anything but we have to be realistic, you’ll have a much better life marrying Katherine, your father will provide for you, making sure you have everything you need. You’ll be safe, Bill.”
“But I won’t be happy,” Bill sobbed, squeezing Tom’s hands tightly, “I won’t be happy with her.”
“But will you be happy with me?” Tom snapped, a little too harshly than originally intended. “Bill, what I live in can’t be categorized as a house, it’s a fucking shed! It’s close to falling apart and it’s cold and I have three lousy coins in my pocket. I have nothing, nothing to give you,” Tom sniffed. Life was so unfair and there wasn’t a darn thing Tom could do about it. Their lives were controlled, manipulated, ruined.
“I’ll be happy living with you right here,” Bill exclaimed, looking around in the dirty, messy shed, before giving Tom a tiny, little smile, “I don’t care where we are, where we live, I just want you,” He said and leaned in for a sweet, little kiss.
Tom sighed into the kiss, wanting to push Bill away, wanting to snap at him, to tell him to get away right now, put an end to his misery and just marry Katherine, but he could not stop the kiss. He had never been able to resist Bill, in any way.
The passionate kiss grew hotter, more desperate, and suddenly Bill was sitting in Tom’s lap, arms wrapped securely around Tom’s neck, as a way of letting Tom know that Bill was not going to let go. Tom’s tummy fluttered at that, but his mind was racing - he had to seize this moment, cherish this kiss, because it could be the last kiss they ever shared.
~~
“Bill, this really isn’t safe,” Tom said in between greedy kisses from Bill.
Bill simply ignored Tom and pushed him down onto his bed, pulling his boots off before he crawled onto the bed as well, smirking at Tom as he leaned down for a yet another irresistible kiss.
Tom stroked the small of Bill’s back, playing with the hem of his shirt, but not daring to go all the way as they were currently in Bill’s house - his bedroom, to be exact - and anyone could walk in on them.
“It’s okay,” Bill confirmed, biting Tom’s bottom lip teasingly, “Nobody’s home.”
“Some of your servants could walk in anytime,” Tom reminded him, still rolling them over so that he was on top; he didn’t want to make Bill’s sheets dirty.
Bill just giggled, wrapping his arms around Tom again, kissing him with all his might, as if he hadn’t heard what Tom said. Tom knew Bill very well though; he had known the boy for years, and he knew that Bill was spoiled and would sometimes ignore it when he got a ‘no.’
As things got heater, and Bill managed to unbutton Tom’s shirt, the door flew open and, just as Tom had predicted, a servant named Lily stood in front of them, mouth wide open as she stared shockingly at the two boys, lying on top of each other on the bed.
“Lily, please-“ Bill gasped and pushed Tom away from him and tried running after her. She was too fast though and she had probably already made it downstairs.
“Shit,” Bill groaned, pacing around in the room, eyes wide, mouth hanging open, “She’s going to tell my dad. She’s going to tell my dad. Oh Tom, what do we do?” He nearly yelled out in panic, pulling at his hair, letting out a loud groan.
Tom just sat there, staring at Bill dumbly. It was like he was in a trance, or frozen. He appeared to have forgotten how to form words as he opened his mouth several times only to realize that nothing would come out, not a single sound. He was pretty sure he was having a panic attack.
“You have to get out!” Bill suddenly shrieked and yanked Tom’s arm harshly, forcing Tom get up on his feet, still stuck in his trance. “You have to climb out. Come on, Tom, quick!” He shrieked and dragged Tom by his arm towards the window, turning to look at Tom with blank eyes.
“Go,” Bill both pleaded and whispered. “I’ll see you later,” And with that, he sealed the deal with a kiss.
A kiss that should have never happened…
“Bill!” Tom heard someone shriek and he immediately pushed Bill away from him, almost making Bill fall.
The two of them turned to look at Gordon, Bill’s father who was the priest of the Village and the most powerful man there ever was.
Gordon looked furious, his face was purple by now, and his blood vessels pulsing frantically as he started at the two of them with a disgusted look on his face. Tom knew exactly what he was thinking…
“Bill, what are you doing with this peasant?” He yelled, running over to Bill, grabbing him by his shoulders, shaking him violently, making Bill cry hysterically.
“Stop,” Tom roared, desperately trying to get Gordon away from Bill.
Gordon eventually let go of Bill and turned to look at Tom, anger flashing in his eyes and Tom gulped, taking two steps back. Gordon wrapped his hands around Tom’s neck and Tom’s breath caught in his throat.
“You are never to defile my son again,” He said in the most dangerous voice ever known to Tom’s ears, “If I ever find you with my son again, you and that filthy, whoring family of yours will pay the price,” He whispered, spitting Tom in the face before letting go of Tom’s neck.
~~
It had, indeed, been the last kiss they ever shared.
Tom sighed and dried sweat off his forehead as he walked over to his house, ready to sit down after eight, long hours of work. He could only allow himself a thirty-minute long break before he had to join his family back out there, trying to plow as much as he could.
As he got inside, he kicked his boots off and threw himself onto the cushion lying on the living room floor. Curling up into a ball, he finally allowed a tear to fall down his face.
Being the son of a farmer, Tom had never been very happy. He loved his family, more than anything, they gave him what they could, and Tom never blamed any of them. He had always felt lost and lonely, considering how he had grown up with no friends, no one besides his parents and siblings.
In his childhood, Tom and his siblings were often referred to as ’the dirty farmer kids’ so of course he hadn’t gotten any friends once he started school. Who would want to be friends with that poor, dirty boy with ragged clothes? Who would want to be friends the boy who probably had lice because he never washed himself?
Yes, he had always been alone, and he was used to it.
Then he befriended Bill Kaulitz, son of the priest, the richest boy in town, on a hot summer night last year, and he had never felt more complete, more like a human.
Bill had treated him like an actually person and not a walking contagious decease.
And it had felt so good to experience kindness for a change.
It quickly escalated; it turned into love, a love Tom was sure he would never, ever feel again.
~~
“I wish life wasn’t so unfair,” Bill mumbled, resting his head on Tom’s chest as they lay together in the grass, staring up at the beautiful summer sky. They were fifteen minutes away from their Village, out of everyone’s sight, hiding from them, wanting to spend some time with each other.
“Why do you think life is unfair?” Tom asked amused, ruffling Bill’s hair playfully. “You live in a fucking palace, you have it all, Bill,” Tom said as he tried hiding the jealousy in his voice.
Bill sat up and glared at Tom with a rather harsh and hurt look. “Yes, my dad has got money, we both know that. He owns the fucking Village, he’s powerful but I still have the right to think that life is unfair,” Bill pouted and turned around, clearly hurt and Tom instantly felt like an ass.
“Bill,” Tom bit his lip, regretting what he’d said as he realized that he had been a little insensitive, “I’m sorry,” He whispered and sat up properly, hugging Bill from behind, hiding his face in his neck.
“You know I’m nothing like my father,” Bill mumbled, leaning into Tom’s touch, allowing Tom to tightened his grip, “It’s not my fault that he’s got this whole Village at his feet, it’s not my fault he takes money from your family; forcing you to pay too much tax. It’s not my fault that he’s abusing his priest position. I hate it just as much as you do. Yes, I’m surrounded with material goods, but that’s not the key to happiness, believe me I know,” Bill sniffed, stroking Tom’s forearms with his fingertips, closing his eyes, enjoying the feeling of being in the older boys arms.
Tom gulped; he had never realized just how Bill was feeling about all this. He just assumed that Bill was a happy butterfly, enjoying life and being pleased with everything that came his way. Who could blame him for thinking like that? Bill smiled so brightly all the time, brighter than the sun. And just one little smile from Bill made Tom melt right on the spot.
“I’m sorry,” Tom murmured, kissing Bill’s ear sweetly, “I just assumed-“
“You just assumed I was just like my dad,” Bill finished for him. “Well, I’m not. I like you Tom, a lot. I’m sorry to say but not many people in this Village do, but I do. Want to know what the first thing I noticed with you was?”
“Probably my greasy hear and dirt-filled face,” Tom guessed, trying his best to smile.
“No,” Bill giggled and turned around to look at Tom, still resting in his arms. “Your eyes - they were the first thing I noticed about you,” Bill whispered, kissing Tom’s cheek, making Tom flush.
That was the kindest thing anyone had ever said to him in his entire life, and he hugged the boy in his arms tighter, thanking god up in heaven for being so lucky to have him in his life.
“My eyes?” Tom asked in a whisper, trying to sound casual, but his voice did break a little.
“Yes,” Bill replied, voice full of adoration. “Your eyes are glowing, Tom. They sparkle and they are so full of kindness and pain. One can tell by looking at your eyes that you haven’t had the easiest life, but you are a kind person who cares about other people more than yourself.”
Tom was totally speechless, shocked and didn’t know what to reply to that, instead, he grabbed Bill’s head carefully, turning it towards his and kissed Bill softly, trying to make Bill understand, without having to say it, just how much it meant to him - how much Bill meant to him.
~~
After that lovely night in the grass, Bill and Tom’s relationship had only blossomed, but they had to keep their relationship a secret. Bill’s father would not allow Bill to even socialize with someone like Tom, so they had to be very careful. No one could know, and no one could see them together. They lived in a small village, and Bill’s father knew everything that was going on in the Village - he had spies everywhere, all the time.
Their relationship was hard and risky, but so worth it. They snuck out of the Village together, sometimes in the middle of the night, just to be together. Sometimes, they weren’t able to see each other for weeks, as Bill had to attend many high-society parties and Tom had work to do on the farm.
They cherished every little moment they had together, making every minute count, making the most out of it.
But now, Bill had married Katherine Shultz, the daughter of a very wealthy fabric owner. It was a marriage arranged by Gordon and Heinrich Schultz, Katherine’s father.
That faithful night, when Bill had been told by his mother, Simone, that he was engaged, had been the worst night of his life.
It had happened two days after they were caught in Bill’s bedroom by none other than Gordon. Bill had desperately run away from home and stayed with Tom, sobbing and crying in Tom’s arms, repeating over and over that he couldn’t - wouldn’t - marry Katherine.
Tom had been crying as well, as he’d known that their love wouldn’t last, their love was impossible, not meant to be, not in a society like this. For the night, he’d held Bill because Bill had needed it.
But two days later, he’d broken up with Bill, telling him they just couldn’t do it anymore, it was too risky, they had already been caught, and Tom was bound to end up in prison if it ever happened again.
Bill had sobbed, telling Tom he did not want to live without him, he was happy with him, and he could never be happy with Katherine.
Tom had made a choice - a choice he that would follow him forever - to let Bill go.
And that had been two months ago, when they kissed for the very last time, in Tom’s house.
~~
Tom was lying in the grass, staring up at the sky. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax for a bit. This was his hiding place, the hill behind him and the beautifully green beneath him. This was his escape. He could escape from reality and just be himself - a lonely, lost kid without any hopes for his future, without any hope for anything at all.
Just as he was about to fall asleep, he heard footsteps from behind. He quickly got up, brushed the grass of his knees and turned to look who it was, absolutely terrified since he was not really allowed to be there.
He let out a relieved sigh as saw that it was just a boy standing behind him, looking at him with a surprised look.
Tom gulped, completely taken away by the beautiful teen standing in front of him. He was long and lean, very skinny but he did pull it off, Tom had to say. He had dark, short hair - which was so dark it really made his skin look much paler than it probably was. Tom was completely blown away and had suddenly forgotten how to move his legs.
“Hi,” The boy said with a bright smile and sat down next to a very shocked Tom. “I’m Bill… I didn’t think anyone would be here.”
“Oh,” Tom said after a while, not looking at the boy but at his dirty jeans, “Well… I come here sometimes, but I didn’t know that it was yours, I could go if you wa-“
“Wait,” The black haired teen said, rudely interrupting Tom, “Mine? This place is not mine, what makes you think that? And I am not going to force you to go,” He smiled kindly at Tom who blushed red and had to look away again.
“Sorry,” Tom mumbled, “I just assumed… Never mind. I could go if you want to be alone though,” He kindly suggested, smiling carefully at the other boy.
“No, stay,” The boy insisted, patting the spot beside him. “I’m Bill, as I already mentioned, and who are you?”
Tom gasped at the boy. Was he for real? There he was, probably one of the most beautiful boys in the universe, and he wanted Tom - a filthy, sweaty, contagious, ugly boy to sit with him and keep him company? This boy was probably new and didn’t know who he was, or how things worked around there.
“I’m Tom,” Tom smiled hesitatingly and scooted closer to Bill.
“Very nice to meet you, Tom,” Bill sent tom a brilliant smile that made Tom’s heart jump in his chest.
~~
Tom smiled to himself as he thought about the memory, about the first day he’d ever set his eyes on Bill. It was a memory he would hold on to forever. They were over, they would probably never meet again, but Tom would always have his memories - that was something neither society nor Gordon could take away from him.
Still, he walked around, regretting his decision, retting ever having let Bill go.
He had talked to his father, Walter, about it two days ago, as his father had noticing him crying under their favorite apple-tree. His father had given him a hug, and told him that there wasn’t anything Tom could do - even if Tom hadn’t broken up with Bill, Gordon would have found a way to separate them anyway. Tom would go to jail and Bill would either be sent away or kept inside their house. It was true, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.
The same week, Tom volunteered to go to the marked, to trade and sell food they were in desperate need for. All the while, he was hoping to catch a glimpse of Bill, just a little glimpse would be enough to save his day.
Sighing to himself, four hours later, Tom did realize that he would never see his love again.
Feeling defeated, depressed and blue, Tom made his way home to their farm. He helped his father with the animals before he went to bed, crying himself to sleep as he thought about his unlucky fate.
~~
“I love the stars,” Bill sighed out, smiling at Tom. They were lying on the grass, the place where they first met, shoulder-to- shoulder on a chilly night summer night, watching the stars.
“Me too,” Tom replied, turning to steal a quick glance at Bill, “They’re so beautiful,” He whispered, loud enough for Bill to hear, but he was not talking about the stars - he wasn’t talking about the stars at all.
“And they seem so far away, which gives me hope,” Bill whispered, still staring at the star, but noticing the way Tom was looking at him, blushing, “It gives me hope that one day, I’ll break free from this place.”
Tom could sense the desperation and sorrow in Bill’s voice, and sudden warmth spread through his body. He was not alone - he was not the only one who felt alone, lost and so very trapped in that village. He just didn’t quite understand just how bad Bill was feeling, until Bill told him three days later.
“Maybe we will one day,” Tom whispered, and gazing deeply into Bill’s eyes. “We could run away together.”
“Yeah,” Bill whispered, smiling as he stared at Tom’s lips, licking his own lips as well.
Before Tom got the chance to react, or to prepare himself, Bill’s lips was on his. Yelping into the kiss, Tom hesitatingly placed an arm on Bill’s waist, pulling him closer as the kiss went on.
~~
And that was the first kiss they ever shared - a hot, magical but also foolish kiss. They should never have kissed; they should never even have met.
But one can’t control who they fall in love with, or who they meet. Tom never regrets meeting Bill though - it had been the greatest experience in his whole life and he was pretty sure he would never, ever experience something as wondrous as that ever again.
He only had the memories to hold on to, and he would never let them go.
~~
Days passed, months passed, and years passed.
Two years to be exact.
Tom was still working on the farm, still miserable and still missing Bill - the first and only love of his life.
He had not seen Bill in two years, but he thought about it often, sending good thoughts his way and just hoping that Bill - wherever he was right now, whatever he was doing - that he was happy and that he had managed to get over Tom.
Tom had heard rumors saying that Katherine and Bill eventually moved out to the big city, on Katherine’s request, apparently, as she wanted to open a store.
Even though it had hurt, knowing that Bill wasn’t even close anymore, Tom couldn’t help but to feel happy for Bill. Bill had always wanted to get leave this please - he had wanted to be far away, just like the stars.
~~
“Were you serious when you said you’d run away with me?” Bill asked, staring up at Tom with sad eyes.
“I was,” Tom nodded, pressing their foreheads together, “But it’s not going to happen.”
“I know,” Bill sighed, tears streaming down his face. “I just wish it would,” Bill cried, breaking down in Tom’s hold.
“Me too,” Tom cried, stroking the back of Bill’s neck with shaky fingers. “Me too.”
~~
Tom was lying on the grass, on their special spot, as he’d done for years now. He stared up at the sky, wondering where Bill was now, wondering if he’d ever see him again.
He closed his eyes, and escaped, imagining himself running away with Bill, running to a place where they could be happy, where they could be together - to a place where Gordon wouldn’t be able to control their lives.
Hours passed, and Tom wasn’t moving. Suddenly, he heard footsteps from behind him. He didn’t bother getting up; he knew that this land belonged to no one.
Then that someone stopped behind him, blocking the sun from Tom’s face completely. Tom closed his eyes and couldn’t believe his own eyes.
Bill.
His Bill.
“What are you-“ He gasped and got up, grabbing Bill, pressing their bodies together in a warm, desperate hug, sobbing into Bill’s neck as Bill did the same to him.
“What? How? How is this possible?” Tom sobbed, kissing Bill’s neck, chin, temple, cheek, forehead and mouth, and Bill gladly accepted the kisses, sniffing and crying just like Tom.
“I missed you too much,” Bill whimpered, his nails digging into the skin of Tom’s back, “Oh, how I missed you.”
“But why you here?” Tom asked, wiping Bill’s eyes, kissing his forehead, “Why?”
“I ran,” Bill declared, shivering as he said those two words, “I left my wife and I ran… I can’t live without you Tom,” He smiled, lips quivering and Tom placed a soft kiss on them.
“But you were finally free,” Tom whispered, still not being able to believe that Bill was there, right in front of him, “You escaped this place, you broke free.”
“I was never free without you,” Bill replied, voice breaking and he grabbed the back of Tom’s neck and smashed their mouths together in a desperate and greedy kiss.
Before neither one of them knew what was going on, they were lying on the grass, atop of each other, exchanging breathless kisses, and they weren’t able to stop - they wouldn’t stop, not for anything in the whole wide world.
Clothes were being ripped off and thrown away, the kisses never stopped, hands were roaming, stroking, caressing. It was chilly outside, yet the boys were hot and warm as they moved together - slowly, whimpering into each other’s mouths, staring into each other’s eyes as they got closer and closer to their breaking point.
Shivering in each other’s arms, they collapsed next to each other, arms immediately finding each other again, both of them refusing to let go.
Bill rested his head on Tom’s chest, fingers stroking his skinny, yet slightly toned stomach as they came down from their high.
“I love you,” Bill panted.
“I love you, too,” Tom whispered, tigheting his hold on Bill.
Come what may, he was never letting go of Bill again.
~~
“We’ll run away together.”
“Yes, one day we will.”
~~
Bill and Tom did run away together, risking everything they knew in order to be together.
But they knew that no matter what would happen, no matter how they would have to live, it would be worth it because they had each other.
And sometimes, love truly is enough.