Fic: To Rekindle, Tom/Bill, PG, 1/1
Title: To Rekindle
Author: ???
Pairing(s): Tom/Bill
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don’t own the twins, sadly.
Warnings: None
Summary: Tom Kaulitz is a college student having just graduated from Berlin University of the Arts. For the first time in four years he is returning to Magdeburg, much to the delight of Bill Trumper, for whom he used to babysit. Four years is a long time and can bring about some shifting feeling. But can it work?
Recipient: tsoa_fer_totes
Author's notes: Merry Christmas one and all! Thank you to Imogen for the beta and thank you to mariesen for the lovely banner!
“Don’t forget to call me tonight.”
Bill wrinkled his nose at his friend, feigning distaste. “I ring you every night.”
They reached the school gates and paused, hopping onto the grassy verge to avoid the excitable post-school flow of students. Someone knocked into Bill and he scowled, more than ready to leave the day in the dust.
“Sometimes you forget,” Andreas reminded him.
Bill rolled his eyes but smiled. Then said, “Come on. I need to go, Kas is home alone.”
Andreas looked at him. “She’ll be more than fine, I guarantee it.”
“She needs me,” Bill said, hearing the note of petulance creep into his voice.
“She’s a cat. I’m not sure cats require the same level of affection as you do.”
Bill ignored his friend and turned toward the gates once more. A moment later he felt Andreas loop his arm through Bill’s briefly before peeling away to head in the opposite direction. “See you tomorrow!” Andreas trilled. “And don’t forget to call! Tonight is important; I have maths homework you need to talk me through.”
Bill chuckled and tucked his hands into his pockets. Andreas was a whirlwind.
An unusual September breeze had picked up in the last couple of weeks and Bill found himself greatly wishing he had donned more than a skimpy leather jacket on the way out this morning. That, coupled with being exceptionally lanky meant Bill always spent the entire winter shivering like the last leaf on a tree. A sulky pout crossed his features and he wondered if his mum would be around to pick him up. Then he could get a start on that math homework he was supposed to be calling Andreas about.
Knowing his mum would be out, Bill hefted the backpack higher on his back and began to trudge across the road. Without warning, a bike ran in front of him and he shot his head up, startled and ready to bounce a few swear words off the cyclists retreating back.
Deciding it would be pointless, Bill set his sights on the opposite side of the road again.
And then - this time of his own volition - halted.
He blinked, frowned, and then an unprecedented smile tugged at his lips.
Against the curb on the other side of the road was a familiar blue car, rusting paint around the exhaust with a bumper sticker that read “shit happens” plastered to the boot window.
It had been... years since Bill had laid eyes on the little Ford, since he’d even thought about it. When he was little he’d been picked up almost daily in the car so faded it was almost grey. Simone - a free lance artist - was forever roaming Germany in search of buyers and art festivals and new people to paint in an absurdly abstract manner. Bill loved his mother but didn’t quite share the same artistic flare as she did, at least not with paints. Musically, Bill was every chorister’s dream.
Before he was able to walk alone, cook alone and put himself to bed, Bill had been passed from one carer to another. Until... Bill almost laughed to himself. Until the little blue vehicle had pulled up in front of his Elementary school gates, Samy Deluxe blaring and window rolled down to reveal what Bill had understood to be what his grandmother called a hoodlum.
He had refused to get in.
It had taken some persuading, including a call to his mother but eventually Bill had caved and bundled himself into an angry ball on the front passenger seat. He had never been an easy child but it hadn’t taken long before he found himself surreptitiously looking out for the blue car after school. Snorting to himself, he remembered how his cheeks had pinked in embarrassment whenever the horn had let out an obtrusive double honk when he couldn’t spot it.
He wondered if the driver had remained the same...
HONK HONK.
“Ack!” Bill yelped, almost falling over. He steadied himself, feeling the all too familiar rise of colour in his cheeks. His lips formed an annoyed pout and he cast a furtive look to his left and right. Fortunately, it seemed no-one had noticed his lapse in composure.
He knew who would have, however.
“Fucker,” he mumbled, smoothing his hair down awkwardly with one hand.
Bill was half bubbling with excitement and half with nervous anticipation but he held his head high, ready to feign utter indignance when he arrived at the rusty ride. Thirty seconds later he was standing, albeit awkwardly outside the driver’s side.
He stooped and frowned into the car.
“You could have given me a heart attack,” Bill grouched.
“I think that cyclist you nearly ran into had more of a chance of that,” Tom grinned from the driver seat, his eyes sparkling in a way that both grated on Bill’s nerves and made his belly swirl. All sorts of memories and emotions flooded into Bill’s system, somewhat startling him. He was unprepared for a much more mature looking Tom Kaulitz smiling up at him. He was slouched against the car seat, loose clothes (though not as loose as the ones Bill’s memories conjured) hanging off a toned frame. Thick locks of brown hair were pulled back in a ponytail, several braids and beads dangling from stray strands. Tom’s eyes were the same, bright and alive, as though every day was the next big thing. University had been kind to Tom and Bill was finding it very hard not to ogle his former... babysitter, essentially.
Tom chuckled, a deep sound that almost made Bill loose his cool. Insides bursting with a thousand and one feelings, Bill smiled back. He could feel his eyes crinkled at the edges in the most genuine smile he had given anyone all day.
“There it is,” Tom’s smile softened momentarily. Then the wide grin returned, “Are you getting in or shall I leave you to traverse the frosty streets?”
Bill gave a derisive snort. “Are you a poet now?”
“No, but my roommate thinks he is,” Tom informed him. “I think it’s rubbing off on me.” He raised both eyebrows in question. “So, frosty streets or...?
“It’s not that cold.”
“I can see your whole body shaking,” Tom noted with a raised brow. “Get in or your mother will kill me.”
“Does she know you’re here?” Bill asked, surprised.
“Yeah, I swung by to see if you were in but she told me you were still here. Should have known,” he said lightly.
Bill wasn’t quite ready to take his eyes off Tom yet but he was sure a one-sided staring contest wasn’t what Tom had bargained for so he peeled his eyes away and hurried round the bonnet of the car.
By the time he got there Tom had already stretched across the gear stick and was pushing open the door with his fingertips.
“Thanks,” Bill said as he folded himself in. It was smaller than he remembered and he had to slide the seat back to accommodate his now much longer limbs. The last time he’d been in this car he was on the brink of his early-teen growth spurt and had suffered no problem in tucking his legs beneath himself and shoving his backpack into the well of the seat. Now it sat on his lap, his legs taking up all the room.
“You grew a bit,” Tom noted, starting the engine and glancing over his shoulder to check for stray students.
“A bit,” Bill agreed, looking down at his legs. The car puttered into motion and Bill smiled, wanting to ask Tom a million questions about the last four years. About being a music major in Berlin, about living independently (not that Bill was entirely ignorant of this), about new friends and the nightlife, any girlfriends... Bill bit his lip, an odd stab in his chest and decided maybe it wasn’t his place to know.
“And you grew your hair,” Tom went on, reaching over to flick a lock.
Bill huffed when it fell over his eyes but he couldn’t be annoyed. “And you cut yours.” The Tom Bill remembered from before university had had dirty blond dreadlocks that sometimes he’d help to wax.
“I like it,” Tom said, glancing at Bill before returning his eyes to the road. “Yours I mean. Looks cool.”
The compliment from Tom took Bill back six years, when Bill had accidently let his fringe grow more than he’d intended. His mother hadn’t been around to cut his hair in a while and while he was sulking over a missing mother and too long bangs, Tom had scooped him up in a hug and said it make him look cool.
“Thanks,” Bill mumbled, feeling flushed.
Tom chuckled. “So tell me about school,” he said.
Bill pulled a face. “School’s boring. I want to hear about university, your life is so much better!” He almost wanted to throw his hands in the air in frustration. Bill was counting down the days until he was able to attend college. He had hopes for a music scholarship at Hamburg Institute of Fine Arts but he hadn’t let them get too high, he had an entire year of school left before he could escape.
“You’re right,” Tom agreed, shooting a knowing look at Bill. “Mine is way better.”
“Stop bragging and tell me about it,” Bill rolled his eyes, never quite able to ignore the way Tom would make fun of his moody ways.
“Don’t be jealous,” Tom said. “You shouldn’t wish away your youth.”
“You’re twenty-two,” Bill said flatly, “Hardly aging just yet.”
“Which makes you... 17?”
“Jackpot,” said Bill. “Nearly 18 though.”
“Phwew, you were such a kid when I last saw you,” Tom said, as they turned into Bill’s neighbourhood.
“Mm,” Bill agreed. He wondered if Tom still viewed him as a kid. That didn’t sit well with him. He looked over as Tom looked the other way, the dull, orange-blue light of the evening cast long shadows over his face and Bill couldn’t help but wish he was able to reach out and touch his cheek, just to see how stubbly his cheeks really were, just to see if Tom would turn and give him a different kind of smile, maybe.
“You’d love the nightlife in Berlin,” Tom said, shooting Bill an almost mischievous smile. “Right up your street.”
The chat continued until they arrived at Bill’s drive. Simone’s car was gone, and no lights were on, not that Bill was particularly astonished.
Bill hesitated as Tom switched the engine off and hugged his bag to his chest. He didn’t want Tom to leave just yet, he’d only just arrived. “Do you want a cup of tea?” He said, by way of invitation.
The smile this time was a lot gentler and Bill found himself blushing.
“Thought you’d never ask,” The teasing tone in Tom’s voice was back and Bill huffed before opening the door and stepping into the chilly evening air.
“You know,” Tom called after him as he made his way to the front door. “You haven’t changed.”
Bill didn’t know what to think of that. He liked to think he’d grown up over the years, become more of an adult and less of a crazy-haired pre-teen. But perhaps that’s all he’d ever be to Tom. To Bill, Tom was his first real friend, but to Tom Bill had been a kid and a bit of extra cash for the weekends. To distract himself, he rummaged in his pocket until he felt the jangle of keys.
“Your house hasn’t either.”
Bill nearly jumped a foot in the air.
“You fucker, don’t do that!” He yelped.
“Sorry.”
Tom didn’t sound sorry at all.
The proximity of his older friend was off-putting and Bill had to try twice before successfully unlocking the door. Finally, it swung open and they stepped into the warmth.
Unsurprisingly the house was empty when Bill opened the door. He flicked the lights on and dumped his bag along with his jacket and boots before deciding to hunt down Kasimir. He’d make the tea after.
“You mum still doing that art shit still?”
Bill nodded. “I’m surprised you caught her actually, I haven’t seen her since Wednesday.” He stooped to check behind the TV for his cat. “Where is she?” He said to himself.
“Are you looking for Albert?”
Bill stood up and pulled a sad face at Tom. “Al died three years ago. Mum decided she wanted some more female company around the house so we got Kasimir.”
“I’m sorry,” Tom said sympathetically.
Bill did miss Albert, a ferocious tabby who only seemed to have the time of day for Bill, but Kas was just as doting. He lifted a shoulder as he stood to look at Tom. “It’s okay, Kasimir makes a good new addition.”
“I’m glad,” Tom said. Bill watched as Tom searched the room with a sweeping glance, “Can’t wait to meet her.”
“She’ll appear sooner or later.”
Just as Bill was about to offer a beverage to Tom, a long-haired white and brown cat trotted from the kitchen and into the living room. Head held high, Kas wound her way around the furniture and headed for Bill.
“Kas,” he purred. “I missed you today.”
He crouched and scooped her into his arms, nuzzling her soft fur as he stood. Tom made his way over to the pair and petted her head gently.
Kas purred and stretched her neck towards him.
“She likes you.”
“Good thing, too,” Tom said with a reminiscent frown. “I had to impression that Al wasn’t that fond of me.”
Bill laughed. “He liked you well enough.”
“I have scars to remind me how much.”
“Oh God,” Bill moaned apologetically. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be, it was worth it.”
Bill didn’t know what to make of that statement so he buried his face in Kasimir’s fur.
“Hm, why don’t you give me the same love you’re showing that cat,” Tom said when Bill looked up again. He suddenly wished he’d stayed nose-planted in Kas because he could feel the familiar flare of pink dusting his cheeks for the umpteenth time that day.
He clutched Kas closer to his chest and hoped she wouldn’t abandon him. Unfortunately she didn’t seem to be on the same page and with a meow, leapt to the carpet and bounded off.
Bill opened his mouth to offer Tom a drink when Tom smiled, stepped forward and reached for Bill. The second Tom’s arms enveloped him Bill felt his heart flutter against his chest. The warm embrace was comfortable and safe and after a few seconds, he gingerly wrapped his own arms around Tom’s much broader waist and hugged him tight.
Tom let out a sigh and Bill felt his hair ruffle slightly. Then Tom breathed in. Was he smelling Bill’s hair? Bill squeezed his eyes shut and tried to work out how he felt about that.
After several moments had gone by, Bill was the first to pull back, unable to handle the loud beat of his heart against his rib cage.
To his surprise, Tom cupped the back of his head, smiling into his eyes so warmly it made his belly erupt as a thousand butterflies flitted around inside it.
“Um, do you want a drink?” he squeaked, ducking from Tom’s hold and heading for the kitchen.
“We have beer,” he called over his shoulder. “For when Gordon comes round.”
“A beer would be nice,” he heard as he left the room.
Yes, a beer would be nice.
Two minutes later Bill made his way back into the kitchen. He’d calmed himself down a bit and reminded himself Tom was back in his life for the time being and they needed to catch up. He was still bubbling with unanswered queries about the elusive lifestyle of university students.
“How’s your guitar playing?” He asked as he sat down beside Tom on the sofa. He handed him an ice-cold beer and settled back against the cushions, ready to hear all stories Tom was willing to surrender.
Tom smiled, always happy to talk about music. He’d been the one to inspire Bill into becoming as musical as he was now. Bill had always been able to sing, and had always loved it, but it was Tom who had driven him to focus on it for his future. To really pursue his passion, as Tom was doing.
“Good, I joined a few bands while I was in Berlin but nothing sat too well with me. I’m more of a going solo kind of guy, you know?”
Bill nodded.
“It’d be nice to have some lyrics to my songs sometimes though, and someone to sing them.” Tom cast Bill another one of his looks that Bill found difficult to read.
“Are you still singing?” Tom asked.
Yeah, I’ve applied for a scholarship to Hamburg.” He took a sip of beer.
“The Arts school?” Tom raised an eyebrow.
Bill nodded again.
“Impressive,” Tom let out a low whistle. “That place is the best of the best.”
Bill ducked his head, hiding behind his hair as he warmed at Tom’s compliment.
When he looked up again Tom was still smiling at him and he smiled back, leaning a little closer to the boy opposite.
Tom’s proximity was starting to make him feel more and more comfortable.
“So what stories have you got for me?” Bill asked. “I’ve heard a lot about university.”
Tom chuckled. “I’m sure. Oh! You’ll love this one. So me and my friend Georg were in an elevator...”
Bill listened eagerly as Tom told him about the places he’d lived for the past four years (some of them Bill wasn’t sure he could’ve survived in), the nights out in Berlin, meeting some of the hot-shot music moguls that a big, cultural city like Berlin attracted, sleeping through countless lectures, going to concerts and even playing some of his own.
Bill was saucer-eyed by the time Tom set his third empty beer on the coffee table.
“I need to get out of here,” Bill said. Magdeburg seemed like it had been stuck in time judging by the stories Tom had been telling him. Everything seemed to move so fast in the metropolitan area of Germany’s capital and Bill wanted to get out and experience something similar for himself.
“You will,” Tom said knowingly.
They sat closer now, their legs overlapping and Kas asleep between them. The sun had set and the room was lit only with the dim light of the lamp Bill had turned on when they’d arrived.
“Why are you back here then? I don’t think I’d want to leave Berlin.” Bill asked, taking the final sip of his second beer before setting it on the floor.
“Ah,” said Tom, leaning in closer. “I have not a penny to my name so am returning to the bank of dad.”
Bill laughed.
“But as soon as I get a job, I’m out of here. Besides,” Tom said, his voice much quieter. “I wanted to see a few people, say a few things, you know.” He shrugged.
Bill smiled. “Like me.”
“Of course.”
Tom reached a hand forward unexpectedly and touched Bill’s cheek. Bill’s eyes widened and he found himself leaning in, too.
“You have grown up,” Tom whispered, tucking a lock of hair behind Bill’s ear.
Bill nodded, unsure what to say or do.
He was very close to Tom now. It felt a little bizarre but not in entirely bad way. Tom’s eyes were darker than he remembered, and his hands were rougher against his cheek, more calloused.
“Gosh, it’s horrible outside!”
Bill nearly leapt off the sofa in fright. His head whipped round and he found himself staring half in annoyance and half in shock at his mother who had just bustled into the front door with an easel tucker under her arm.
“Hi, mum,” he squeaked.
Beside him he felt Tom stand and tried to quash the disappointment he felt at losing the proximity they’d been sharing a moment ago.
“Hi Miss Trumper,” Tom said politely. Bill stared at the two of them, not entirely sure what to do with himself. His mother and Tom conversed easily; Tom had always been relaxed around most people, even Bill’s crazy mother.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
Bill snapped back to reality and nodded dumbly at Tom. “Um...”
“Bye, Tom!” Simone chirped. “Drive safely!”
Before Bill could say or do anything the front door had slammed on Tom’s back and his mother was jabbering about her most recent art exhibition.
What had just happened?
~~~~
“He what?!” Andreas screeched.
“Shut up, Andi!”
“Sorry,” Andy said with a shrug. “I mean... are you sure?”
“No,” Bill shook his head and looked down at the pavement. “That’s what I’m saying... I don’t know.”
“What if he’s waiting for you again? Are you going to make a move?”
Bill winced. “Andi, I don’t think there’s any move to make.”
“You may as well try, what have you got to lose?”
Bill slid his friend a scathing look. “Quite a lot, actually.”
“Hm, I thought so.”
“What?” Bill looked at Andreas, confused.
“I just wanted you to admit you liked him.”
“I didn’t admit I liked him though,” Bill said, still nonplussed.
Instead of replying Andreas changed tact. “I think you had a good enough reason not to call me last night.”
“Oh yeah, sorry,” said Bill, not really paying his friend much attention.
“Oh look! There he is,” Andi waved wildly at Tom and Bill tried to hide the look of mild horror from his features.
“Don’t embarrass me,” Bill said through gritted teeth as they crossed to road to meet Tom, who was leaning against the side of his car, arm folded with his usual smile.
Andreas mocked offense. “Would I?”
“Yes,” Bill muttered as they reached Tom.
“Hi Andi,” Tom said easily. “How are you doing?”
“Pretty good thanks, just trying to keep Bill out of trouble. You know how it is.”
They both laughed while Bill folded his arms and tried to look mutinous.
“Are you here to collect your date again?”
Bill nearly choked.
“Andi!” He threw his arms in the air.
To his mortification, Tom laughed along with Andreas.
“A joke, a joke,” Andreas held up his hands in surrender. “I’ll expect a full report later.”
“You can go now,” Bill spat at his friend.
Andreas gave them both a cheery wave off and Bill finally looked up at Tom, unsure what to expect.
“Was it a date?” Tom asked, looking down at Bill, one side of his mouth lifted in what Bill could only assume was amusement. It irritated him, how both his friends could go through life so blazé about everything.
“No,” Bill said before he could think about it. “That’s weird.”
“If you say so,” Tom chuckled. “Shall we go?”
Bill wasn’t really sure what to say to Tom while they drove so he let Tom do all the talking. Apparently he’d got a call back for a local music studio in Hamburg. Bill zoned into the conversation enough to congratulate him but all he really felt was awkward.
Because of this, it took him several minutes to realize they were on route not to home, but into town.
“Where are we going?” Bill asked, frowning out the row of shops that lined the less residential streets in Magdeburg.
“I thought we could get some ice-cream,” Tom said, his eyes leaving the road to look at Bill as though asking his permission.
Bill felt his insides warm and he nodded. “Sure.”
While they drove, Tom drilled Bill about his day. Bill told him how Andi had got them into trouble for chatting in class, but he’d been able to escape detention by getting the highest mark in the maths test they’d had last week.
“I was never very good with numbers,” Tom admitted.
“You used to help me,” Bill said, remembering the countless times he’d come home in a sulk because he’d had yet another sheet of maths homework he was certain he couldn’t do.
Tom laughed. “I don’t think my abilities stretched much beyond that of a ten year old.”
Bill laughed too.
“Here we are,” Tom said as they pulled up outside Betty’s, the best ice-cream parlour in town.
“I haven’t had ice-cream in years,” Bill said.
Tom smiled at him. “Two vanilla sundaes coming right up.”
Bill’s smile widened as Tom stepped out the car. Tom had remembered.
~~~~
The next week and a half passed in a blur. School had dumped an obscene amount of assignments on Bill, and he was beginning to feel the full effects of being in final year. The silver lining was Tom. Tom had been outside the gates every day in his rusty blue car, waiting to take Bill home and they’d spend the entire evening in each other’s company. They’d spent every hour of the day together not taken up by sleep, or school and Bill was finding himself growing more and more attached to his old friend. Something had shifted during the years of Tom’s absence; Bill no longer felt like he was being looked after by Tom, but instead felt like they were simply enjoying each other’s company as (almost) adults. Bill loved it.
That day was no different. Bill waved over his shoulder at Andreas before bounding over to the Ford and hopping in.
“I don’t think Andi fully appreciates me as a friend,” he chattered as he did up his seatbelt.
Tom didn’t say anything but pulled away immediately, revving down the street faster than usual. The tyres screeched and Bill yelped in mild shock.
He looked over to Tom and pulled an unhappy face when he noticed a frown dip between Tom’s brows. Tom was never one to mope about anything, he was always smiling about something. Everything seemed easy to Tom, fun.
“...Tom,” Bill ventured. “What’s wrong?”
“I...,” Tom glanced at Bill, who’s frown deepened. “Good and bad news.”
“What’s happened? What’s wrong?” Bill reached across to touch Tom’s knee and without warning, Tom grabbed Bill’s hand in his and squeezed.
“Tom?”
“I’ll tell you when we’re home.”
Bill sat back in his seat but his hand remained clasped in Tom’s.
~~~~
Kasimir wound herself around Tom’s legs as soon as they arrived home. Bill let Tom greet her while he dropped his bags to the floor and made his way to the kitchen to put the kettle on. Mum always made tea when someone was upset.
When he returned to the living room Tom was standing beside the sofa, hands in his pockets.
“I’ve got a job,” Tom said, half smiling. But the smile didn’t reach his eyes.
Bill set the two mugs down on the coffee table. “Oh! But, that’s good, right?”
Tom nodded, but then shook his head and let out a forlorn laugh. “Yes... and no.”
“But Tom that’s really great! What is it? Where is it?”
Tom lifted his hand and gestured for Bill to come closer. Bill obliged and walked over to the sofa, surprised when Tom grabbed him and pulled him close.
“It’s in Hamburg,” Tom said, his voice muffled against Bill’s shoulder. Bill frowned, holding Tom and wondering what had him so worked up. He settled closer, enjoying their closeness and tried not to think too much about the fact that Tom might be leaving. He’d coped before, he could cope again.
Bill pulled back and looked at Tom. “This is a good thing, Tom,” he said softly.
Tom opened his mouth, and then shut it again. They stood in silence for several moments and then Tom reached up to cup Bill’s cheek against his palm. It felt warm and soothing and Bill felt himself wanting to lean into the gentle touch.
“Bill... these past few days have been... really good,” Tom said quietly. “I don’t want to leave.”
Bill smiled, but it felt tight. “Don’t be silly, you-”
Tom’s other hand came up to Bill’s cheek. “I don’t want to leave because of you.”
“I...” Bill didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t even sure he knew what Tom was saying. His heart skipped and a swarm of butterflies erupted in his belly. But before he could say anything Tom had stooped, catching Bill’s lips in a kiss.
Bill’s head swam and he closed his eyes, feeling only Tom around him. Tom’s chapped lips were all Bill could focus on and he found it hard not to moan out loud. Tom’s hands were in his hair, rubbing through the locks gently.
When Tom pulled away, Bill was breathless.
“What was that for?”
Tom chuckled, his easy nature seeming to reappear for now. “Because I wanted to. I’ve wanted to ever since I saw you walk out the school gates for the first time in four years.”
Bill smiled. “Is this the bad news?” He said, understanding now. Tom had re-entered his life so fast and now he was leaving again. Maybe it would be as hard for Tom as Bill felt it would be for him.
Tom nodded, massaging his fingers through Bill’s hair still. “Mm-hm.”
“It’s not so bad,” Bill said, trying not to think about losing something he’d only just had. It shouldn’t matter, really. He’d gone years without seeing Tom and he’d survived.
“It kind of sucks,” Tom said, half smiling.
“Kind of,” Bill parroted.
“Come here,” Tom drew Bill close again, moving them to the sofa. They sat down, tangling close while Kas purred at their feet. Bill wondered if this would ever happen again.
The remainder of the evening passed by quietly, Bill and Tom trading little kisses and chatting about anything and everything, but Tom’s new job. When the time came to say goodbye Bill held Tom close and Tom kissed Bill with more passion than he’d ever felt in his life.
“I’ll see you soon, okay?” Tom said, smoothing a thumb over Bill’s cheekbone.
“Soon,” Bill nodded, trying not to cry.
~~~~
“Are you kidding me?” Andreas moaned. “This fucking snow is never going to let up.”
Bill smiled at his friend as he trudged down the path towards the school gates. Nothing could dampen his spirits today, not even three feet of the chilly white powder. That morning he’d received a letter of acceptance from Hamburg Institute of Fine Arts and his mother had made him a full breakfast, quite the proud parent. She’d even dropped him into school to save himself the snowy walk in.
All day, Bill’s insides had been buzzing with unbridled excitement. Something even more special than being accepted into university was about to happen.
Together, he and Andreas reached the bottom of the school grounds and bustled out of the gates along with the tens of other students eager to finish their day.
“See you, Andi!” Bill chirped, and before his friend could respond he bounded across the road.
As soon as he spotted him his heart leapt in his chest and he grinned. They met in a flurry of snow and warm coats and chilly breath and Bill could hardly stop smiling long enough for Tom to kiss him.
“So, you’re coming to Hamburg, huh?” Tom said, grinning down at Bill.
Bill nodded, wrapping himself up in Tom’s arms. “I am.”
“Best Christmas present ever,” Tom said, and squeezed Bill tight.
Bill looked up at Tom, feeling a contentment he’d never before felt. “Merry Christmas, Tom.”
Author: ???
Pairing(s): Tom/Bill
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don’t own the twins, sadly.
Warnings: None
Summary: Tom Kaulitz is a college student having just graduated from Berlin University of the Arts. For the first time in four years he is returning to Magdeburg, much to the delight of Bill Trumper, for whom he used to babysit. Four years is a long time and can bring about some shifting feeling. But can it work?
Recipient: tsoa_fer_totes
Author's notes: Merry Christmas one and all! Thank you to Imogen for the beta and thank you to mariesen for the lovely banner!
“Don’t forget to call me tonight.”
Bill wrinkled his nose at his friend, feigning distaste. “I ring you every night.”
They reached the school gates and paused, hopping onto the grassy verge to avoid the excitable post-school flow of students. Someone knocked into Bill and he scowled, more than ready to leave the day in the dust.
“Sometimes you forget,” Andreas reminded him.
Bill rolled his eyes but smiled. Then said, “Come on. I need to go, Kas is home alone.”
Andreas looked at him. “She’ll be more than fine, I guarantee it.”
“She needs me,” Bill said, hearing the note of petulance creep into his voice.
“She’s a cat. I’m not sure cats require the same level of affection as you do.”
Bill ignored his friend and turned toward the gates once more. A moment later he felt Andreas loop his arm through Bill’s briefly before peeling away to head in the opposite direction. “See you tomorrow!” Andreas trilled. “And don’t forget to call! Tonight is important; I have maths homework you need to talk me through.”
Bill chuckled and tucked his hands into his pockets. Andreas was a whirlwind.
An unusual September breeze had picked up in the last couple of weeks and Bill found himself greatly wishing he had donned more than a skimpy leather jacket on the way out this morning. That, coupled with being exceptionally lanky meant Bill always spent the entire winter shivering like the last leaf on a tree. A sulky pout crossed his features and he wondered if his mum would be around to pick him up. Then he could get a start on that math homework he was supposed to be calling Andreas about.
Knowing his mum would be out, Bill hefted the backpack higher on his back and began to trudge across the road. Without warning, a bike ran in front of him and he shot his head up, startled and ready to bounce a few swear words off the cyclists retreating back.
Deciding it would be pointless, Bill set his sights on the opposite side of the road again.
And then - this time of his own volition - halted.
He blinked, frowned, and then an unprecedented smile tugged at his lips.
Against the curb on the other side of the road was a familiar blue car, rusting paint around the exhaust with a bumper sticker that read “shit happens” plastered to the boot window.
It had been... years since Bill had laid eyes on the little Ford, since he’d even thought about it. When he was little he’d been picked up almost daily in the car so faded it was almost grey. Simone - a free lance artist - was forever roaming Germany in search of buyers and art festivals and new people to paint in an absurdly abstract manner. Bill loved his mother but didn’t quite share the same artistic flare as she did, at least not with paints. Musically, Bill was every chorister’s dream.
Before he was able to walk alone, cook alone and put himself to bed, Bill had been passed from one carer to another. Until... Bill almost laughed to himself. Until the little blue vehicle had pulled up in front of his Elementary school gates, Samy Deluxe blaring and window rolled down to reveal what Bill had understood to be what his grandmother called a hoodlum.
He had refused to get in.
It had taken some persuading, including a call to his mother but eventually Bill had caved and bundled himself into an angry ball on the front passenger seat. He had never been an easy child but it hadn’t taken long before he found himself surreptitiously looking out for the blue car after school. Snorting to himself, he remembered how his cheeks had pinked in embarrassment whenever the horn had let out an obtrusive double honk when he couldn’t spot it.
He wondered if the driver had remained the same...
HONK HONK.
“Ack!” Bill yelped, almost falling over. He steadied himself, feeling the all too familiar rise of colour in his cheeks. His lips formed an annoyed pout and he cast a furtive look to his left and right. Fortunately, it seemed no-one had noticed his lapse in composure.
He knew who would have, however.
“Fucker,” he mumbled, smoothing his hair down awkwardly with one hand.
Bill was half bubbling with excitement and half with nervous anticipation but he held his head high, ready to feign utter indignance when he arrived at the rusty ride. Thirty seconds later he was standing, albeit awkwardly outside the driver’s side.
He stooped and frowned into the car.
“You could have given me a heart attack,” Bill grouched.
“I think that cyclist you nearly ran into had more of a chance of that,” Tom grinned from the driver seat, his eyes sparkling in a way that both grated on Bill’s nerves and made his belly swirl. All sorts of memories and emotions flooded into Bill’s system, somewhat startling him. He was unprepared for a much more mature looking Tom Kaulitz smiling up at him. He was slouched against the car seat, loose clothes (though not as loose as the ones Bill’s memories conjured) hanging off a toned frame. Thick locks of brown hair were pulled back in a ponytail, several braids and beads dangling from stray strands. Tom’s eyes were the same, bright and alive, as though every day was the next big thing. University had been kind to Tom and Bill was finding it very hard not to ogle his former... babysitter, essentially.
Tom chuckled, a deep sound that almost made Bill loose his cool. Insides bursting with a thousand and one feelings, Bill smiled back. He could feel his eyes crinkled at the edges in the most genuine smile he had given anyone all day.
“There it is,” Tom’s smile softened momentarily. Then the wide grin returned, “Are you getting in or shall I leave you to traverse the frosty streets?”
Bill gave a derisive snort. “Are you a poet now?”
“No, but my roommate thinks he is,” Tom informed him. “I think it’s rubbing off on me.” He raised both eyebrows in question. “So, frosty streets or...?
“It’s not that cold.”
“I can see your whole body shaking,” Tom noted with a raised brow. “Get in or your mother will kill me.”
“Does she know you’re here?” Bill asked, surprised.
“Yeah, I swung by to see if you were in but she told me you were still here. Should have known,” he said lightly.
Bill wasn’t quite ready to take his eyes off Tom yet but he was sure a one-sided staring contest wasn’t what Tom had bargained for so he peeled his eyes away and hurried round the bonnet of the car.
By the time he got there Tom had already stretched across the gear stick and was pushing open the door with his fingertips.
“Thanks,” Bill said as he folded himself in. It was smaller than he remembered and he had to slide the seat back to accommodate his now much longer limbs. The last time he’d been in this car he was on the brink of his early-teen growth spurt and had suffered no problem in tucking his legs beneath himself and shoving his backpack into the well of the seat. Now it sat on his lap, his legs taking up all the room.
“You grew a bit,” Tom noted, starting the engine and glancing over his shoulder to check for stray students.
“A bit,” Bill agreed, looking down at his legs. The car puttered into motion and Bill smiled, wanting to ask Tom a million questions about the last four years. About being a music major in Berlin, about living independently (not that Bill was entirely ignorant of this), about new friends and the nightlife, any girlfriends... Bill bit his lip, an odd stab in his chest and decided maybe it wasn’t his place to know.
“And you grew your hair,” Tom went on, reaching over to flick a lock.
Bill huffed when it fell over his eyes but he couldn’t be annoyed. “And you cut yours.” The Tom Bill remembered from before university had had dirty blond dreadlocks that sometimes he’d help to wax.
“I like it,” Tom said, glancing at Bill before returning his eyes to the road. “Yours I mean. Looks cool.”
The compliment from Tom took Bill back six years, when Bill had accidently let his fringe grow more than he’d intended. His mother hadn’t been around to cut his hair in a while and while he was sulking over a missing mother and too long bangs, Tom had scooped him up in a hug and said it make him look cool.
“Thanks,” Bill mumbled, feeling flushed.
Tom chuckled. “So tell me about school,” he said.
Bill pulled a face. “School’s boring. I want to hear about university, your life is so much better!” He almost wanted to throw his hands in the air in frustration. Bill was counting down the days until he was able to attend college. He had hopes for a music scholarship at Hamburg Institute of Fine Arts but he hadn’t let them get too high, he had an entire year of school left before he could escape.
“You’re right,” Tom agreed, shooting a knowing look at Bill. “Mine is way better.”
“Stop bragging and tell me about it,” Bill rolled his eyes, never quite able to ignore the way Tom would make fun of his moody ways.
“Don’t be jealous,” Tom said. “You shouldn’t wish away your youth.”
“You’re twenty-two,” Bill said flatly, “Hardly aging just yet.”
“Which makes you... 17?”
“Jackpot,” said Bill. “Nearly 18 though.”
“Phwew, you were such a kid when I last saw you,” Tom said, as they turned into Bill’s neighbourhood.
“Mm,” Bill agreed. He wondered if Tom still viewed him as a kid. That didn’t sit well with him. He looked over as Tom looked the other way, the dull, orange-blue light of the evening cast long shadows over his face and Bill couldn’t help but wish he was able to reach out and touch his cheek, just to see how stubbly his cheeks really were, just to see if Tom would turn and give him a different kind of smile, maybe.
“You’d love the nightlife in Berlin,” Tom said, shooting Bill an almost mischievous smile. “Right up your street.”
The chat continued until they arrived at Bill’s drive. Simone’s car was gone, and no lights were on, not that Bill was particularly astonished.
Bill hesitated as Tom switched the engine off and hugged his bag to his chest. He didn’t want Tom to leave just yet, he’d only just arrived. “Do you want a cup of tea?” He said, by way of invitation.
The smile this time was a lot gentler and Bill found himself blushing.
“Thought you’d never ask,” The teasing tone in Tom’s voice was back and Bill huffed before opening the door and stepping into the chilly evening air.
“You know,” Tom called after him as he made his way to the front door. “You haven’t changed.”
Bill didn’t know what to think of that. He liked to think he’d grown up over the years, become more of an adult and less of a crazy-haired pre-teen. But perhaps that’s all he’d ever be to Tom. To Bill, Tom was his first real friend, but to Tom Bill had been a kid and a bit of extra cash for the weekends. To distract himself, he rummaged in his pocket until he felt the jangle of keys.
“Your house hasn’t either.”
Bill nearly jumped a foot in the air.
“You fucker, don’t do that!” He yelped.
“Sorry.”
Tom didn’t sound sorry at all.
The proximity of his older friend was off-putting and Bill had to try twice before successfully unlocking the door. Finally, it swung open and they stepped into the warmth.
Unsurprisingly the house was empty when Bill opened the door. He flicked the lights on and dumped his bag along with his jacket and boots before deciding to hunt down Kasimir. He’d make the tea after.
“You mum still doing that art shit still?”
Bill nodded. “I’m surprised you caught her actually, I haven’t seen her since Wednesday.” He stooped to check behind the TV for his cat. “Where is she?” He said to himself.
“Are you looking for Albert?”
Bill stood up and pulled a sad face at Tom. “Al died three years ago. Mum decided she wanted some more female company around the house so we got Kasimir.”
“I’m sorry,” Tom said sympathetically.
Bill did miss Albert, a ferocious tabby who only seemed to have the time of day for Bill, but Kas was just as doting. He lifted a shoulder as he stood to look at Tom. “It’s okay, Kasimir makes a good new addition.”
“I’m glad,” Tom said. Bill watched as Tom searched the room with a sweeping glance, “Can’t wait to meet her.”
“She’ll appear sooner or later.”
Just as Bill was about to offer a beverage to Tom, a long-haired white and brown cat trotted from the kitchen and into the living room. Head held high, Kas wound her way around the furniture and headed for Bill.
“Kas,” he purred. “I missed you today.”
He crouched and scooped her into his arms, nuzzling her soft fur as he stood. Tom made his way over to the pair and petted her head gently.
Kas purred and stretched her neck towards him.
“She likes you.”
“Good thing, too,” Tom said with a reminiscent frown. “I had to impression that Al wasn’t that fond of me.”
Bill laughed. “He liked you well enough.”
“I have scars to remind me how much.”
“Oh God,” Bill moaned apologetically. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be, it was worth it.”
Bill didn’t know what to make of that statement so he buried his face in Kasimir’s fur.
“Hm, why don’t you give me the same love you’re showing that cat,” Tom said when Bill looked up again. He suddenly wished he’d stayed nose-planted in Kas because he could feel the familiar flare of pink dusting his cheeks for the umpteenth time that day.
He clutched Kas closer to his chest and hoped she wouldn’t abandon him. Unfortunately she didn’t seem to be on the same page and with a meow, leapt to the carpet and bounded off.
Bill opened his mouth to offer Tom a drink when Tom smiled, stepped forward and reached for Bill. The second Tom’s arms enveloped him Bill felt his heart flutter against his chest. The warm embrace was comfortable and safe and after a few seconds, he gingerly wrapped his own arms around Tom’s much broader waist and hugged him tight.
Tom let out a sigh and Bill felt his hair ruffle slightly. Then Tom breathed in. Was he smelling Bill’s hair? Bill squeezed his eyes shut and tried to work out how he felt about that.
After several moments had gone by, Bill was the first to pull back, unable to handle the loud beat of his heart against his rib cage.
To his surprise, Tom cupped the back of his head, smiling into his eyes so warmly it made his belly erupt as a thousand butterflies flitted around inside it.
“Um, do you want a drink?” he squeaked, ducking from Tom’s hold and heading for the kitchen.
“We have beer,” he called over his shoulder. “For when Gordon comes round.”
“A beer would be nice,” he heard as he left the room.
Yes, a beer would be nice.
Two minutes later Bill made his way back into the kitchen. He’d calmed himself down a bit and reminded himself Tom was back in his life for the time being and they needed to catch up. He was still bubbling with unanswered queries about the elusive lifestyle of university students.
“How’s your guitar playing?” He asked as he sat down beside Tom on the sofa. He handed him an ice-cold beer and settled back against the cushions, ready to hear all stories Tom was willing to surrender.
Tom smiled, always happy to talk about music. He’d been the one to inspire Bill into becoming as musical as he was now. Bill had always been able to sing, and had always loved it, but it was Tom who had driven him to focus on it for his future. To really pursue his passion, as Tom was doing.
“Good, I joined a few bands while I was in Berlin but nothing sat too well with me. I’m more of a going solo kind of guy, you know?”
Bill nodded.
“It’d be nice to have some lyrics to my songs sometimes though, and someone to sing them.” Tom cast Bill another one of his looks that Bill found difficult to read.
“Are you still singing?” Tom asked.
Yeah, I’ve applied for a scholarship to Hamburg.” He took a sip of beer.
“The Arts school?” Tom raised an eyebrow.
Bill nodded again.
“Impressive,” Tom let out a low whistle. “That place is the best of the best.”
Bill ducked his head, hiding behind his hair as he warmed at Tom’s compliment.
When he looked up again Tom was still smiling at him and he smiled back, leaning a little closer to the boy opposite.
Tom’s proximity was starting to make him feel more and more comfortable.
“So what stories have you got for me?” Bill asked. “I’ve heard a lot about university.”
Tom chuckled. “I’m sure. Oh! You’ll love this one. So me and my friend Georg were in an elevator...”
Bill listened eagerly as Tom told him about the places he’d lived for the past four years (some of them Bill wasn’t sure he could’ve survived in), the nights out in Berlin, meeting some of the hot-shot music moguls that a big, cultural city like Berlin attracted, sleeping through countless lectures, going to concerts and even playing some of his own.
Bill was saucer-eyed by the time Tom set his third empty beer on the coffee table.
“I need to get out of here,” Bill said. Magdeburg seemed like it had been stuck in time judging by the stories Tom had been telling him. Everything seemed to move so fast in the metropolitan area of Germany’s capital and Bill wanted to get out and experience something similar for himself.
“You will,” Tom said knowingly.
They sat closer now, their legs overlapping and Kas asleep between them. The sun had set and the room was lit only with the dim light of the lamp Bill had turned on when they’d arrived.
“Why are you back here then? I don’t think I’d want to leave Berlin.” Bill asked, taking the final sip of his second beer before setting it on the floor.
“Ah,” said Tom, leaning in closer. “I have not a penny to my name so am returning to the bank of dad.”
Bill laughed.
“But as soon as I get a job, I’m out of here. Besides,” Tom said, his voice much quieter. “I wanted to see a few people, say a few things, you know.” He shrugged.
Bill smiled. “Like me.”
“Of course.”
Tom reached a hand forward unexpectedly and touched Bill’s cheek. Bill’s eyes widened and he found himself leaning in, too.
“You have grown up,” Tom whispered, tucking a lock of hair behind Bill’s ear.
Bill nodded, unsure what to say or do.
He was very close to Tom now. It felt a little bizarre but not in entirely bad way. Tom’s eyes were darker than he remembered, and his hands were rougher against his cheek, more calloused.
“Gosh, it’s horrible outside!”
Bill nearly leapt off the sofa in fright. His head whipped round and he found himself staring half in annoyance and half in shock at his mother who had just bustled into the front door with an easel tucker under her arm.
“Hi, mum,” he squeaked.
Beside him he felt Tom stand and tried to quash the disappointment he felt at losing the proximity they’d been sharing a moment ago.
“Hi Miss Trumper,” Tom said politely. Bill stared at the two of them, not entirely sure what to do with himself. His mother and Tom conversed easily; Tom had always been relaxed around most people, even Bill’s crazy mother.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
Bill snapped back to reality and nodded dumbly at Tom. “Um...”
“Bye, Tom!” Simone chirped. “Drive safely!”
Before Bill could say or do anything the front door had slammed on Tom’s back and his mother was jabbering about her most recent art exhibition.
What had just happened?
~~~~
“He what?!” Andreas screeched.
“Shut up, Andi!”
“Sorry,” Andy said with a shrug. “I mean... are you sure?”
“No,” Bill shook his head and looked down at the pavement. “That’s what I’m saying... I don’t know.”
“What if he’s waiting for you again? Are you going to make a move?”
Bill winced. “Andi, I don’t think there’s any move to make.”
“You may as well try, what have you got to lose?”
Bill slid his friend a scathing look. “Quite a lot, actually.”
“Hm, I thought so.”
“What?” Bill looked at Andreas, confused.
“I just wanted you to admit you liked him.”
“I didn’t admit I liked him though,” Bill said, still nonplussed.
Instead of replying Andreas changed tact. “I think you had a good enough reason not to call me last night.”
“Oh yeah, sorry,” said Bill, not really paying his friend much attention.
“Oh look! There he is,” Andi waved wildly at Tom and Bill tried to hide the look of mild horror from his features.
“Don’t embarrass me,” Bill said through gritted teeth as they crossed to road to meet Tom, who was leaning against the side of his car, arm folded with his usual smile.
Andreas mocked offense. “Would I?”
“Yes,” Bill muttered as they reached Tom.
“Hi Andi,” Tom said easily. “How are you doing?”
“Pretty good thanks, just trying to keep Bill out of trouble. You know how it is.”
They both laughed while Bill folded his arms and tried to look mutinous.
“Are you here to collect your date again?”
Bill nearly choked.
“Andi!” He threw his arms in the air.
To his mortification, Tom laughed along with Andreas.
“A joke, a joke,” Andreas held up his hands in surrender. “I’ll expect a full report later.”
“You can go now,” Bill spat at his friend.
Andreas gave them both a cheery wave off and Bill finally looked up at Tom, unsure what to expect.
“Was it a date?” Tom asked, looking down at Bill, one side of his mouth lifted in what Bill could only assume was amusement. It irritated him, how both his friends could go through life so blazé about everything.
“No,” Bill said before he could think about it. “That’s weird.”
“If you say so,” Tom chuckled. “Shall we go?”
Bill wasn’t really sure what to say to Tom while they drove so he let Tom do all the talking. Apparently he’d got a call back for a local music studio in Hamburg. Bill zoned into the conversation enough to congratulate him but all he really felt was awkward.
Because of this, it took him several minutes to realize they were on route not to home, but into town.
“Where are we going?” Bill asked, frowning out the row of shops that lined the less residential streets in Magdeburg.
“I thought we could get some ice-cream,” Tom said, his eyes leaving the road to look at Bill as though asking his permission.
Bill felt his insides warm and he nodded. “Sure.”
While they drove, Tom drilled Bill about his day. Bill told him how Andi had got them into trouble for chatting in class, but he’d been able to escape detention by getting the highest mark in the maths test they’d had last week.
“I was never very good with numbers,” Tom admitted.
“You used to help me,” Bill said, remembering the countless times he’d come home in a sulk because he’d had yet another sheet of maths homework he was certain he couldn’t do.
Tom laughed. “I don’t think my abilities stretched much beyond that of a ten year old.”
Bill laughed too.
“Here we are,” Tom said as they pulled up outside Betty’s, the best ice-cream parlour in town.
“I haven’t had ice-cream in years,” Bill said.
Tom smiled at him. “Two vanilla sundaes coming right up.”
Bill’s smile widened as Tom stepped out the car. Tom had remembered.
~~~~
The next week and a half passed in a blur. School had dumped an obscene amount of assignments on Bill, and he was beginning to feel the full effects of being in final year. The silver lining was Tom. Tom had been outside the gates every day in his rusty blue car, waiting to take Bill home and they’d spend the entire evening in each other’s company. They’d spent every hour of the day together not taken up by sleep, or school and Bill was finding himself growing more and more attached to his old friend. Something had shifted during the years of Tom’s absence; Bill no longer felt like he was being looked after by Tom, but instead felt like they were simply enjoying each other’s company as (almost) adults. Bill loved it.
That day was no different. Bill waved over his shoulder at Andreas before bounding over to the Ford and hopping in.
“I don’t think Andi fully appreciates me as a friend,” he chattered as he did up his seatbelt.
Tom didn’t say anything but pulled away immediately, revving down the street faster than usual. The tyres screeched and Bill yelped in mild shock.
He looked over to Tom and pulled an unhappy face when he noticed a frown dip between Tom’s brows. Tom was never one to mope about anything, he was always smiling about something. Everything seemed easy to Tom, fun.
“...Tom,” Bill ventured. “What’s wrong?”
“I...,” Tom glanced at Bill, who’s frown deepened. “Good and bad news.”
“What’s happened? What’s wrong?” Bill reached across to touch Tom’s knee and without warning, Tom grabbed Bill’s hand in his and squeezed.
“Tom?”
“I’ll tell you when we’re home.”
Bill sat back in his seat but his hand remained clasped in Tom’s.
~~~~
Kasimir wound herself around Tom’s legs as soon as they arrived home. Bill let Tom greet her while he dropped his bags to the floor and made his way to the kitchen to put the kettle on. Mum always made tea when someone was upset.
When he returned to the living room Tom was standing beside the sofa, hands in his pockets.
“I’ve got a job,” Tom said, half smiling. But the smile didn’t reach his eyes.
Bill set the two mugs down on the coffee table. “Oh! But, that’s good, right?”
Tom nodded, but then shook his head and let out a forlorn laugh. “Yes... and no.”
“But Tom that’s really great! What is it? Where is it?”
Tom lifted his hand and gestured for Bill to come closer. Bill obliged and walked over to the sofa, surprised when Tom grabbed him and pulled him close.
“It’s in Hamburg,” Tom said, his voice muffled against Bill’s shoulder. Bill frowned, holding Tom and wondering what had him so worked up. He settled closer, enjoying their closeness and tried not to think too much about the fact that Tom might be leaving. He’d coped before, he could cope again.
Bill pulled back and looked at Tom. “This is a good thing, Tom,” he said softly.
Tom opened his mouth, and then shut it again. They stood in silence for several moments and then Tom reached up to cup Bill’s cheek against his palm. It felt warm and soothing and Bill felt himself wanting to lean into the gentle touch.
“Bill... these past few days have been... really good,” Tom said quietly. “I don’t want to leave.”
Bill smiled, but it felt tight. “Don’t be silly, you-”
Tom’s other hand came up to Bill’s cheek. “I don’t want to leave because of you.”
“I...” Bill didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t even sure he knew what Tom was saying. His heart skipped and a swarm of butterflies erupted in his belly. But before he could say anything Tom had stooped, catching Bill’s lips in a kiss.
Bill’s head swam and he closed his eyes, feeling only Tom around him. Tom’s chapped lips were all Bill could focus on and he found it hard not to moan out loud. Tom’s hands were in his hair, rubbing through the locks gently.
When Tom pulled away, Bill was breathless.
“What was that for?”
Tom chuckled, his easy nature seeming to reappear for now. “Because I wanted to. I’ve wanted to ever since I saw you walk out the school gates for the first time in four years.”
Bill smiled. “Is this the bad news?” He said, understanding now. Tom had re-entered his life so fast and now he was leaving again. Maybe it would be as hard for Tom as Bill felt it would be for him.
Tom nodded, massaging his fingers through Bill’s hair still. “Mm-hm.”
“It’s not so bad,” Bill said, trying not to think about losing something he’d only just had. It shouldn’t matter, really. He’d gone years without seeing Tom and he’d survived.
“It kind of sucks,” Tom said, half smiling.
“Kind of,” Bill parroted.
“Come here,” Tom drew Bill close again, moving them to the sofa. They sat down, tangling close while Kas purred at their feet. Bill wondered if this would ever happen again.
The remainder of the evening passed by quietly, Bill and Tom trading little kisses and chatting about anything and everything, but Tom’s new job. When the time came to say goodbye Bill held Tom close and Tom kissed Bill with more passion than he’d ever felt in his life.
“I’ll see you soon, okay?” Tom said, smoothing a thumb over Bill’s cheekbone.
“Soon,” Bill nodded, trying not to cry.
~~~~
“Are you kidding me?” Andreas moaned. “This fucking snow is never going to let up.”
Bill smiled at his friend as he trudged down the path towards the school gates. Nothing could dampen his spirits today, not even three feet of the chilly white powder. That morning he’d received a letter of acceptance from Hamburg Institute of Fine Arts and his mother had made him a full breakfast, quite the proud parent. She’d even dropped him into school to save himself the snowy walk in.
All day, Bill’s insides had been buzzing with unbridled excitement. Something even more special than being accepted into university was about to happen.
Together, he and Andreas reached the bottom of the school grounds and bustled out of the gates along with the tens of other students eager to finish their day.
“See you, Andi!” Bill chirped, and before his friend could respond he bounded across the road.
As soon as he spotted him his heart leapt in his chest and he grinned. They met in a flurry of snow and warm coats and chilly breath and Bill could hardly stop smiling long enough for Tom to kiss him.
“So, you’re coming to Hamburg, huh?” Tom said, grinning down at Bill.
Bill nodded, wrapping himself up in Tom’s arms. “I am.”
“Best Christmas present ever,” Tom said, and squeezed Bill tight.
Bill looked up at Tom, feeling a contentment he’d never before felt. “Merry Christmas, Tom.”