This morning, I found out that she still reads my journal. To see if I stab her in the back? Or whatever term she used...I thought she knew me better than that...Guess not. I'm glad to see that she's already happy, laughing with her friends...that's good. I just want her to be happy.

My parents are fucking assholes. My dad yells at me the second I get through the door because he has problems and keeps yelling at me while I have to stand there and listen to him. Great, just great.

Still up...waiting for something. I don't know what I'm waiting for...but I am. I'll stay up until I see the sun.

Look at me, I'm so fuckin' pathetic. I can't stop. But I need to. Nothing I do can bring me back.

Jesus, 56. 56, 56, 56, 56, 56, 56. Each one is for every time I was sorry. Fifty-six. Vinnie, you know what fifty-six is? 28 multiplied by TWO! I figured out the significance of that number. I knew it was somehow important. I feel so sick, like I want to throw up or something but I can't. Also, my stomache has been hurting so fucking much ( Read more... )

I can't stop. I can't stop looking through her LJ, Xanga, Myspace. I keep staring at my phone. I need to call her, I need to make sure she's okay. I found entries......this is all so sudden. Random thoughts scattered. I can't sleep. It's late. Is she okay? Is she up? Is....Idk ( Read more... )

She broke up with me. It's done, over...she said that she doesn't take back what she said. I just gave her back two stuffed animals she gave me. It would have been too painful to keep them. It's hard enough having her live so close to me.

The worst pain imaginable is loving someone more than yourself. Where you're willing to die for that person in a heartbeat without questioning it. When you try so hard to make that person's life better, but nothing works....and that person doesn't feel love for you. Four months, fifteen days, and twelve hours......suddenly she tells you that she ( Read more... )

whats the point? whats the point to anything in this so called life? i mean we are all going to die so why bother going to school? why bother with striving to meet perfection? why bother to care how your life is going to turn out? its one of very few constants of the universe. we are all going to die. ill tell you another thing. if you find another ( Read more... )

TOMATO!