happier than i have been in a very long time.  i like my classmates, i like medical school, i just like life right now.  i like cooking for the most part, though i wish we all still ate in the dining hall sometimes.  because though the food tastes better when i make it myself, something about eating alone makes it, well, just a routine that keeps ( Read more... )

very happy in medical school.  perhaps happier even than she was at Yale.

but also more lonely (eating alone sucks)

and not yet intelligent enough to be deserving of MD/PhD status.

*would be posted on facebook... but too people would send me silly/unhelpful messages. 

I just finished reading a book on being a surgeon (which, by the way, will NEVER be my choice career), and it amazes me how little I know about the healthcare system in this country.  I should read more, become educated about insurance and forms and whatever Obama is doing down there in Congress.  This pertains to me now, whether I like it or not ( Read more... )

I am the only one awake in the house. Only quiet morning since Maine, since before graduation. Well, what's news? I graduated. I'm leaving all my friends and all the people I have lived with for the past four years for the great unknown. Well, maybe the only-somewhat-unknown great unknown. But still, graduation made real how amazing the past ( Read more... )

I look out my window and see the usual bustle on Broadway.  The smoke coming from the power plant, the gym under construction.  The same scene, I likely would have seen had I ever bothered to open the curtain on my window at 7am in the morning.

I'll miss this place.  I'm doing laundry because my clothes from the lake are disgusting and tying up ( Read more... )

i wonder sometimes if i picked the right group of friends.  i miss... the weird people... in life.  i'll have to remember that for medical school, i guess.  but i miss being comfortable with all the weird awkward nobodies and somebodies in the world.  and not around people who are so judgemental, so often.  it's funny, for a time.  and interesting ( Read more... )

I know I don't update much anymore, but for those who I've been out of contact with for a very long time, I will most likely be going to Rochester next year... and the year after that, and the year after that, and the year after that, and the year after that, and the year after that, and the year after that... and the year after that.

So if ( Read more... )

i feel like it's not the week before spring break.

i have an odd desire to spread my love and friendship to everyone i come across because i don't want them to feel unloved (not a bad sign, just not who i usually am).  i feel like i actually want to be a freshman again.  no, not like everyone else who wants to be a freshman with the knowledge ( Read more... )

I want someone to hold me tight.  And I want to curl up and crawl back into the womb so that things will be familiar and comfortable again.  And I want to thrash around like a madman... just because.

But I can't.  So instead I do nothing.

(It's a good thing I don't have midterms this week.)

no matter how hard i try, it ends up the same.  the company of too many people just stresses me out.  i'm trying so hard too :(.  maybe with time.  and, without further ado, a nice summary of my life right now:

me:  i'm just trying to enjoy second semester senior year.  and do some of the things i was supposed to do in college but didn't.

liz( ( Read more... )